No direction home
I´m stuck in the countryside. My family´s car broke yesterday as we were heading to Jyväskylä to get the train. So we were freezing out there for like four hours until somebody came and got us out of there. The car is so old and everything has to be done the hardest way because of the constant lack of money. So, because there is only one bus connection to the city and that is at 8.50am, I´m leaving only tomorrow. Sadly enought I can´t make it to Anvil.
Yesterday I watched the No Direction Home -documentary part II about Dylan and I got so inspired as always. But that inspiration goes quickly away, which I find good because it is exhausting. But something that I notice each time I see my idols is that I want to perform in some way or another. Then I get depressed.
This is wasting life at it`s best. Being here. I can´t write or do anything really because of the disorder and dirtiness and my constant asthma attacks. The dust and dirt make me feel sick and sometimes I think if I - in the end - should ask for some help for my parents even against their will. It must be unhealthy to live here a longer time. And I feel sorry for the fact that they are so stagnant. Doing nothing.
Here I will list some things I want to do sometime:
-have a tea party
-have some other kind of a party (maybe bbq)
-get new friends and contact the friends I have already
-start going out more and stop escaping my life in studying
-learn to take it easy and not to panic so easily
-learn not to be so envious
-learn not to compare myself with others in every little thing
I wish all of those things would be like the first two, because it takes a night to have a party but a lifetime to learn not to be envious.
Yesterday I watched the No Direction Home -documentary part II about Dylan and I got so inspired as always. But that inspiration goes quickly away, which I find good because it is exhausting. But something that I notice each time I see my idols is that I want to perform in some way or another. Then I get depressed.
This is wasting life at it`s best. Being here. I can´t write or do anything really because of the disorder and dirtiness and my constant asthma attacks. The dust and dirt make me feel sick and sometimes I think if I - in the end - should ask for some help for my parents even against their will. It must be unhealthy to live here a longer time. And I feel sorry for the fact that they are so stagnant. Doing nothing.
Here I will list some things I want to do sometime:
-have a tea party
-have some other kind of a party (maybe bbq)
-get new friends and contact the friends I have already
-start going out more and stop escaping my life in studying
-learn to take it easy and not to panic so easily
-learn not to be so envious
-learn not to compare myself with others in every little thing
I wish all of those things would be like the first two, because it takes a night to have a party but a lifetime to learn not to be envious.