Alicia Carrera
Today was one of those days. I kind of did whatever it was I had to do at work, and I didn't really wake up until I was already back at home eating dinner with my family. My mother told us what had happened at the doctors office. She took my grandmother to her psychiatrist; another check up for her developing Alzheimer's. I had met met him while I was the one taking my grandparents to their doctor's appointments. He was very sympathetic and had been able to explain to my grandmother where she was without having her get angry and start yelling that she wasn't crazy. LoL. From what my mother told me, he had progressively gotten more and more frustrated as my grandmother had denied everything my mom had told him. Have you heard voices? No. Do you see people in the house? No. Are you sleeping well? Yes.
The one thing that truly worried him, he said, was the incident with the knife. The incident being when she suddenly emerged into the bathroom with a knife and claimed to not know what she was doing when my grandfather asked her. He said that it was a sign that her aggressiveness will increase as she succumbs more and more to the disease. So the doctor tells my mother, that we all have to seriously consider the idea of putting her into assisted living; she can't be alone ever again. My grandfather is completely worn out. He's tired and anxious all the time. The disease has only intensified the obsession and negative attitude she's had for him their entire marriage. The only rest he gets is when he comes to my house to drop something off. You look away one second and he's already napping on our couch. But it doesn't last long because it's been months since we've known that we can't leave her alone.
One thing was interesting, though. Being hispanic himself, the psychiatrist knew what we thought about nursing homes and assisted living, or whatever label is put on it. To hispanics, it means you're putting your parent away. And that's not acceptable. Our elders stay in the home until it's their time. Anticipating this, he said that he seriously recommended that she be placed in assisted living. What do you say to that? The woman that brought her children from an impoverished live in an economically stagnant country, gave them a house, an education and dedication through two husbands, several battles with cancer and the birth of great grandchildren...
We have to put her in an unknown facility run by people she doesn't know. Sure, most of the time she's psychotic and paranoid. But what about the days she's lucid? She's going to realize that the person next to her all day is not her husband of 45 year or her children or grandchildren or great grandchildren. It's someone who's paid to make sure she doesn't forget to use the bathroom and pump meds into her. So my father worded it just right. My grandmother is going to die of overwhelming sense of abandonment and depression.
The one thing that truly worried him, he said, was the incident with the knife. The incident being when she suddenly emerged into the bathroom with a knife and claimed to not know what she was doing when my grandfather asked her. He said that it was a sign that her aggressiveness will increase as she succumbs more and more to the disease. So the doctor tells my mother, that we all have to seriously consider the idea of putting her into assisted living; she can't be alone ever again. My grandfather is completely worn out. He's tired and anxious all the time. The disease has only intensified the obsession and negative attitude she's had for him their entire marriage. The only rest he gets is when he comes to my house to drop something off. You look away one second and he's already napping on our couch. But it doesn't last long because it's been months since we've known that we can't leave her alone.
One thing was interesting, though. Being hispanic himself, the psychiatrist knew what we thought about nursing homes and assisted living, or whatever label is put on it. To hispanics, it means you're putting your parent away. And that's not acceptable. Our elders stay in the home until it's their time. Anticipating this, he said that he seriously recommended that she be placed in assisted living. What do you say to that? The woman that brought her children from an impoverished live in an economically stagnant country, gave them a house, an education and dedication through two husbands, several battles with cancer and the birth of great grandchildren...
We have to put her in an unknown facility run by people she doesn't know. Sure, most of the time she's psychotic and paranoid. But what about the days she's lucid? She's going to realize that the person next to her all day is not her husband of 45 year or her children or grandchildren or great grandchildren. It's someone who's paid to make sure she doesn't forget to use the bathroom and pump meds into her. So my father worded it just right. My grandmother is going to die of overwhelming sense of abandonment and depression.