making sense of random fire
It has become difficult to differentiate dreams from waking life. The past few weeks, everything that happens in my mind while I am asleep is either a horrible nightmare or a continuation of some recent event. The nightmares all have some connection to my daily life as well, involving people I care about being pursued by some unnamed and unseen blood-thirsty antagonist. If I had the means to recreate some of the things my brain has come up with...the imagery...ugh, it's enough to make anyone not want to go to sleep again. The non-violent dreams seem always to pick up some event or conversation from that day and take it a step further. Each day I wake up horrified and uncertain of what I actually said or did the previous day.
I've had such dreams before, but usually when under the influence of ethanol upon falling asleep. That has not been the case recently, however.
What a fool I've been to take all these pills for these years when the long-term effects are unknown.
I should've been a part of a case-study; then at least my deterioration would add to the scientific knowledge bank.
I think I need to get out of the house. And I need a handgun. The areas I traverse on a daily basis have been occupied by armed robbers. While I feel somewhat safer on a bike than on foot, it can be easy to ambush a biker, too. Especially when you're working as a team at intersections with stop-signs, one person on foot, the other waiting in a getaway car.
I may brave the night streets regardless. All the robberies have been happening in the middle of the day, anyway.
I've had such dreams before, but usually when under the influence of ethanol upon falling asleep. That has not been the case recently, however.
What a fool I've been to take all these pills for these years when the long-term effects are unknown.
I should've been a part of a case-study; then at least my deterioration would add to the scientific knowledge bank.
I think I need to get out of the house. And I need a handgun. The areas I traverse on a daily basis have been occupied by armed robbers. While I feel somewhat safer on a bike than on foot, it can be easy to ambush a biker, too. Especially when you're working as a team at intersections with stop-signs, one person on foot, the other waiting in a getaway car.
I may brave the night streets regardless. All the robberies have been happening in the middle of the day, anyway.