Banana Rama
So yesterday I conducted this poll. I wanted to see how people peeled their banana.
I thought the process of peeling a banana was pretty much a standard. According to the poll all whopping 9 people feel the same way, a testament to the standard. 100% peel their banana the same friggin way.
The normal way. Notice the breakage: stem - top.
THEN WHY!? WHY!? Is there this tiny group of weirdos who peel their banana backwards!?
WHY!?
Zomg! Backwards Dkd?! But that's preposterous!
I - KNOW! That's what I said. If you're wondering why I'm freaking out, you have to understand, it's THAT jarring to witness. You have to see it for yourself and it is DISTURBING.
This all started years ago, I was at a friends house when he offered me a banana. I said sure and he tossed me one. He grabbed one for himself, flipped it upside down, held it by the stem and peeled it from the bottom!!! (which was now at the top) "OH MY FUCK! WTF are you doing!" I yelled as I jumped backwards, fearful of the hellish portal he was summoning by peeling his banana that way. I swear I saw the dark arcana swelling up inside the fruit before he enclosed it with the bite of his mangled maw.
This is when I started my crusade. Every time we were at a place amongst other witnesses, I asked him to demonstrate his banana peeling spell. And in similar fashion, those who witnessed his conjuring were taken aghast, the fear as I knew it dripped from their now pale faces.
He says that he's just creative and thinks outside the box. Outside the box? You're nowhere near the box! WITCHCRAFT! Yells the crowd.
NO. You're just insane! It makes no sense! He says it's smart, he holds it by the handle.
THE HANDLE!? THIS ISN'T AN ICE CREAM CONE!!! It's the stem! You peel from the stem! It's like a soda can tab! It's used to open!
Add to the fact that they believe that the "handle" is the bottom of the banana! Now I can see where they get that idea, because if you look at a banana tree it appears that the stem area is the bottom of the banana. However, smart people should realize that due to gravity, ya know the thing that keeps us from floating off into space, makes the bunch turn upside down. The banana grows downward, and as it grows and gets heavier, it flips upside down.
My heart goes out to those brave banana farmers that risk their lives to pick this yummy high in potassium fruit.
What strikes me as ridiculous, is that 99.999999% of "these" people have never even seen a banana tree so where do they surmise that the stem is the bottom!??!? It's not a flower! It's a fruit! And for goodness sakes PINEAPPLES DON'T GROW ON TREES!!!
What makes this whole situation worse is that there are more of "them" around me. Two people I work with peel the same way. It seems to be a growing epidemic. I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Even Monkey knows how to hold, peel and eat a banana properly.
I thought the process of peeling a banana was pretty much a standard. According to the poll all whopping 9 people feel the same way, a testament to the standard. 100% peel their banana the same friggin way.
The normal way. Notice the breakage: stem - top.
THEN WHY!? WHY!? Is there this tiny group of weirdos who peel their banana backwards!?
WHY!?
Zomg! Backwards Dkd?! But that's preposterous!
I - KNOW! That's what I said. If you're wondering why I'm freaking out, you have to understand, it's THAT jarring to witness. You have to see it for yourself and it is DISTURBING.
This all started years ago, I was at a friends house when he offered me a banana. I said sure and he tossed me one. He grabbed one for himself, flipped it upside down, held it by the stem and peeled it from the bottom!!! (which was now at the top) "OH MY FUCK! WTF are you doing!" I yelled as I jumped backwards, fearful of the hellish portal he was summoning by peeling his banana that way. I swear I saw the dark arcana swelling up inside the fruit before he enclosed it with the bite of his mangled maw.
This is when I started my crusade. Every time we were at a place amongst other witnesses, I asked him to demonstrate his banana peeling spell. And in similar fashion, those who witnessed his conjuring were taken aghast, the fear as I knew it dripped from their now pale faces.
He says that he's just creative and thinks outside the box. Outside the box? You're nowhere near the box! WITCHCRAFT! Yells the crowd.
NO. You're just insane! It makes no sense! He says it's smart, he holds it by the handle.
THE HANDLE!? THIS ISN'T AN ICE CREAM CONE!!! It's the stem! You peel from the stem! It's like a soda can tab! It's used to open!
Add to the fact that they believe that the "handle" is the bottom of the banana! Now I can see where they get that idea, because if you look at a banana tree it appears that the stem area is the bottom of the banana. However, smart people should realize that due to gravity, ya know the thing that keeps us from floating off into space, makes the bunch turn upside down. The banana grows downward, and as it grows and gets heavier, it flips upside down.
My heart goes out to those brave banana farmers that risk their lives to pick this yummy high in potassium fruit.
What strikes me as ridiculous, is that 99.999999% of "these" people have never even seen a banana tree so where do they surmise that the stem is the bottom!??!? It's not a flower! It's a fruit! And for goodness sakes PINEAPPLES DON'T GROW ON TREES!!!
What makes this whole situation worse is that there are more of "them" around me. Two people I work with peel the same way. It seems to be a growing epidemic. I'm scared. I'm so scared.
Even Monkey knows how to hold, peel and eat a banana properly.