Books #39-40: Fer-de-Lance & Twilight
Two books that I did not particularly like. Twilight gets two stars because though it sucked, I did have tremendous fun making fun of it while reading it.
For fun and potential grammar tips: Reasoning with Vampires
Fer-de-Lance by Rex Stout
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I bought this book several years ago when I was trying to expand my mystery novel reading beyond Agatha Christie. I remember reading the first few pages before becoming bored and tossing it aside in favor of a more contemporary work. I picked it up about a week ago, expecting a quick, fun read, but was sorely disappointed.
I found myself disliking nearly every character in the book, including the corpulent, agoraphobic Nero Wolfe and his closest employee, the wise-cracking, milk-drinking Archie Goodwin. Rex Stout attempted to give a backstory to both of the characters, seeing as how this was this first book in a series of 73 novels(!), but it was woefully inadequate.
The plot jumped around way too much for me to follow it well, and I consider myself a sharp, observant reader. Characters popped in and out of the book, and events happened either too quickly or off the page for me to comprehend. The titular snake, the fer-de-lance, doesn't make an appearance until the last 100 pages of the book, and is disposed of entirely too quickly and anti-climactically.
The thing I disliked most about the novel, however, was the blatant racism and sexism rampant throughout. I know this book and its characters were products of their time, but Archie and his compatriots spouted so much hateful talk it was hard to believe it didn't signify something deeper.
Also, I was disturbed throughout by Wolfe's blase attitude toward justice; he seems to prefer tending his massive orchid collection, eating gourmet food, and guzzling gallons of beer. He won't rouse himself to go out of the house, or to even rise in courtesy. He doesn't seem to care about finding the culprit, he only does so to satisfy his ego and acquire money. When compared with other sleuths' motives like Holmes' zeal for the "game" or Poirot's compassion and adherence to justice, Wolfe's fall sadly short.
In the end, reading this book became a chore, and I had to push myself to finish. It's safe to say I won't be continuing to read the adventures of Goodwin and Wolfe.
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Stephen King said this about Twilight: "Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
I can't help but agree.
Meyer's writing in this "novel" (I'm more inclined to call it glorified fan fiction) sounds so much like a 17 year-old that I would be impressed if I thought she was doing it on purpose. As it is, Bella Swan seems to me to be thing single most unlikeable and pathetic protagonist of any book I've ever read. She complains about everything in her life, is self-deprecating, ludicrously imbalanced and clumsy, often depressed, and cruelly sarcastic to those around her. Yet she is loved by everyone who comes her way, and especially by Edward "the Sullen" Cullen.
I don't know how I feel about Edward. Oh wait, yeah I do. He's a little shit. He supposedly falls in love with dull Bella, and he knows that she's borderline erotomanic for him. Most importantly, he knows that he is a danger to her because he is a flipping blood-sucking vampire who thirsts for her blood. Edward claims Bella's blood is alternately flower-like and mouthwatering. I guess vampires like munching on daisies in between pints of blood. In any case, he says he cannot resist her and even climbs into her bedroom to watch her sleep.
What's Bella's response to these revelations of stalking, hunger, and felony? She's pleased, but doesn't think she deserves the honor of Edward's ocher-tinted, loving gaze. Gross.
Beyond its bad characterization and even more atrocious grammar, this book fails at creating an interesting and compelling world. I do not want to live in Bella's Forks, or indeed, Bella's universe. I do not want to live in a world where vampires sparkle, drink from animals, play baseball, and are well nigh invincible. The power and interest of the common vampire story is that vampires are dangerous and evil, but ultimately defeatable, once one finds their weakness. Even with their inexplicably different magical powers, these water-downed and neutered vampires bore me. Bella bores me.
So why did I read this book? My friends who like it got tired of me making fun of it even though I hadn't read it. Well, now I have ammunition galore, so brace yourselves girls!
View all my reviews
For fun and potential grammar tips: Reasoning with Vampires
Fer-de-Lance by Rex Stout
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
I bought this book several years ago when I was trying to expand my mystery novel reading beyond Agatha Christie. I remember reading the first few pages before becoming bored and tossing it aside in favor of a more contemporary work. I picked it up about a week ago, expecting a quick, fun read, but was sorely disappointed.
I found myself disliking nearly every character in the book, including the corpulent, agoraphobic Nero Wolfe and his closest employee, the wise-cracking, milk-drinking Archie Goodwin. Rex Stout attempted to give a backstory to both of the characters, seeing as how this was this first book in a series of 73 novels(!), but it was woefully inadequate.
The plot jumped around way too much for me to follow it well, and I consider myself a sharp, observant reader. Characters popped in and out of the book, and events happened either too quickly or off the page for me to comprehend. The titular snake, the fer-de-lance, doesn't make an appearance until the last 100 pages of the book, and is disposed of entirely too quickly and anti-climactically.
The thing I disliked most about the novel, however, was the blatant racism and sexism rampant throughout. I know this book and its characters were products of their time, but Archie and his compatriots spouted so much hateful talk it was hard to believe it didn't signify something deeper.
Also, I was disturbed throughout by Wolfe's blase attitude toward justice; he seems to prefer tending his massive orchid collection, eating gourmet food, and guzzling gallons of beer. He won't rouse himself to go out of the house, or to even rise in courtesy. He doesn't seem to care about finding the culprit, he only does so to satisfy his ego and acquire money. When compared with other sleuths' motives like Holmes' zeal for the "game" or Poirot's compassion and adherence to justice, Wolfe's fall sadly short.
In the end, reading this book became a chore, and I had to push myself to finish. It's safe to say I won't be continuing to read the adventures of Goodwin and Wolfe.
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Stephen King said this about Twilight: "Both Rowling and Meyer, they’re speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephenie Meyer can’t write worth a darn. She’s not very good."
I can't help but agree.
Meyer's writing in this "novel" (I'm more inclined to call it glorified fan fiction) sounds so much like a 17 year-old that I would be impressed if I thought she was doing it on purpose. As it is, Bella Swan seems to me to be thing single most unlikeable and pathetic protagonist of any book I've ever read. She complains about everything in her life, is self-deprecating, ludicrously imbalanced and clumsy, often depressed, and cruelly sarcastic to those around her. Yet she is loved by everyone who comes her way, and especially by Edward "the Sullen" Cullen.
I don't know how I feel about Edward. Oh wait, yeah I do. He's a little shit. He supposedly falls in love with dull Bella, and he knows that she's borderline erotomanic for him. Most importantly, he knows that he is a danger to her because he is a flipping blood-sucking vampire who thirsts for her blood. Edward claims Bella's blood is alternately flower-like and mouthwatering. I guess vampires like munching on daisies in between pints of blood. In any case, he says he cannot resist her and even climbs into her bedroom to watch her sleep.
What's Bella's response to these revelations of stalking, hunger, and felony? She's pleased, but doesn't think she deserves the honor of Edward's ocher-tinted, loving gaze. Gross.
Beyond its bad characterization and even more atrocious grammar, this book fails at creating an interesting and compelling world. I do not want to live in Bella's Forks, or indeed, Bella's universe. I do not want to live in a world where vampires sparkle, drink from animals, play baseball, and are well nigh invincible. The power and interest of the common vampire story is that vampires are dangerous and evil, but ultimately defeatable, once one finds their weakness. Even with their inexplicably different magical powers, these water-downed and neutered vampires bore me. Bella bores me.
So why did I read this book? My friends who like it got tired of me making fun of it even though I hadn't read it. Well, now I have ammunition galore, so brace yourselves girls!
View all my reviews