(no subject)
i saw a creative reading today of the play "now let me fly" commemorating the 50th anniversary of brown vs. board of education. there was a discussion afterwards where students from school discussed their stories of growing up in our education system today, etc. and i couldnt help but cry when one girl stood in front of us and told her story of growing up as "the white black girl" with tears rolling down her face.
whether or not i always realized this, which i dont think i did, this play and discussion made me think about my education and what i came up with is this:
- i was so proud of getting to grow up in a situation where over 100 countries were represented in my high school, and i didnt want to come to st. mary's cause it was not very diverse and i thought i was going to be stuck in a world with a "backwards" mindset, but now i see that the countries and amount of diversity in a building means absolutely nothing unless people embrace one another. in high school, there was self-segregation everywhere and the classrooms were segregated by regular, honors, ap classes. yeah i went to a diverse high school but my classes were mainly white. people might have been upset about dr. jackson and the way she "favored" black kids, but in retrospect, she was trying to beat the system and show minority students that they can be in whatever class they want and are open to the same damn opportunities as others.
- i never thought about the women's liberation/rights movement in relation to me other than my right to vote and getting certain jobs now that were previously never offered to women, and the fact that there is still a glass ceiling in place for women in the work force. but i realize that i have and have always had almost and automatic, subconscious fear of men. i think i have always in some way or another thought i am inferior to them. this was never taught explicitly to me, but i think i have feared relationships and opinionated because i have been treated like an object and have experienced the perceptions of either being "the pushover" or "the bitch" without any medium. i have been sexually harassed in the workplace, and felt that whether it was in jest or not, i did not have a place to get angry because they were superiors and older men that "don't really mean it."
- there is also a quite clear fear in my head of my elders, never wanting to contradict something they say because i know, or thought i knew, that they did not value my opinion and did not care to listen to something i would actually feel or care about.
i know that i have been more privileged than others, and i will always appreciate what i have been given and what i have earned in my life, but i think the past few months have made me realize that i am not equal to many and i am not treated the way i should be, and there is still racism and segregation and overt objectification of women and prejudice against religious, sexual orientation, economic, and racial minorities and it DISGUSTS ME to think about all the things going on in this country that i have sat by and taken, and allowed others to take. and i dont know if i will become extremely active, or just from now on always make a conscious effort to remember these things, but i hope i will change at least my immediate surroundings somewhat simply by my own daily actions, and maybe eventually i will make a more impactive and significant change.
ok, so this wasn't supposed to become some cheesy sermon thing or whatnot, but yeah. thats that.
whether or not i always realized this, which i dont think i did, this play and discussion made me think about my education and what i came up with is this:
- i was so proud of getting to grow up in a situation where over 100 countries were represented in my high school, and i didnt want to come to st. mary's cause it was not very diverse and i thought i was going to be stuck in a world with a "backwards" mindset, but now i see that the countries and amount of diversity in a building means absolutely nothing unless people embrace one another. in high school, there was self-segregation everywhere and the classrooms were segregated by regular, honors, ap classes. yeah i went to a diverse high school but my classes were mainly white. people might have been upset about dr. jackson and the way she "favored" black kids, but in retrospect, she was trying to beat the system and show minority students that they can be in whatever class they want and are open to the same damn opportunities as others.
- i never thought about the women's liberation/rights movement in relation to me other than my right to vote and getting certain jobs now that were previously never offered to women, and the fact that there is still a glass ceiling in place for women in the work force. but i realize that i have and have always had almost and automatic, subconscious fear of men. i think i have always in some way or another thought i am inferior to them. this was never taught explicitly to me, but i think i have feared relationships and opinionated because i have been treated like an object and have experienced the perceptions of either being "the pushover" or "the bitch" without any medium. i have been sexually harassed in the workplace, and felt that whether it was in jest or not, i did not have a place to get angry because they were superiors and older men that "don't really mean it."
- there is also a quite clear fear in my head of my elders, never wanting to contradict something they say because i know, or thought i knew, that they did not value my opinion and did not care to listen to something i would actually feel or care about.
i know that i have been more privileged than others, and i will always appreciate what i have been given and what i have earned in my life, but i think the past few months have made me realize that i am not equal to many and i am not treated the way i should be, and there is still racism and segregation and overt objectification of women and prejudice against religious, sexual orientation, economic, and racial minorities and it DISGUSTS ME to think about all the things going on in this country that i have sat by and taken, and allowed others to take. and i dont know if i will become extremely active, or just from now on always make a conscious effort to remember these things, but i hope i will change at least my immediate surroundings somewhat simply by my own daily actions, and maybe eventually i will make a more impactive and significant change.
ok, so this wasn't supposed to become some cheesy sermon thing or whatnot, but yeah. thats that.