On behalf of tar_telemnar for reasons which should become apparent.
1. Your complaint: [ ] Untimely death [ ] Timely death [ ] Untimely resurrection/rebirth [x ] Unexplained transformation of body, including change in gender, age, species. [x] Other Plus a strange obsession with sweets and flat-caps.
2. Cause of aforementioned complaint [ ] Self-inflicted [ ] Caused by another, known individual Please enter name of individual here: ________________ (Intentity of complainant will be kept private should legal issues arise) [x ] Of unknown cause
3. Requested action [ ] Compensation to the sum of _______ to be paid into ___________(name of account held at Bank of Eru) [x ] Restoration to former self. I want my grand-dad back! [ ] Resoration but with the following alterations: [ ] Different colour eyes. Please enter preferred eye colour__________ If eye colour unavailable, would you accept coloured contact lenses? [ ]Y [ ]N [ ] Different gender [ ] Larger breasts [ ] Longer legs [ ] Greater tolerance for alcohol [x ] Improved intelligence* ie. NOT senile. [ ] To attract/impress more members of opposite sex* [ ] To attract/impress members of same sex* [ ] The knowledge that my complaint has been formally recognised is compensation enough for me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Please fill out the following section so that we know who is making use of our services and how we may tailor them to suit your needs! [a]Full Name & Title Ar-Pharazôn Kathuphazgânun. [b]Address 1.My Fort, Hyarmen Tirion, Aman. 2.New-Rómenna Shipyard, East Coast, Aman. (Under construction, mail delivered to the foreman, name of Gerald. [c]Next of kin Gimilkhâd. No, not Tar-Palantir or Inzilbeth, Gimilkhâd. So there. [d]Race/Kindred Adûnâim/Dúnedain [e]Length of residence in Aman Not long, can't be bothered looking it up. [f]Favourite colour Black. [g]Preference: Good [ ] Evil [ ] Eönwë [x ] I'm assuming that means "neither" or "not important." [h]Any special skills Public speaking, armed combat, being an asshole. [i]Average speed of a Winged Nazgûl What do you mean? An Aman Nazgûl or a Middle Earth Nazgûl? You see the Aman Nazgûl is non-migratory. [j]Height of Mount Túna My mun's nerd-atlas doesn't say. [k]Complete the following sentences: 1. Burritos are Tasty. 2. If I ruled Aman for a day, I would Install nationalist devolved governments. 3. Elves are Surprisingly violent. 4. Mortals are Fantastic! 5. Ainur are Unpredictable 6. Námo is Not all there.
1. Your complaint:
[ ] Untimely death
[ ] Timely death
[ ] Untimely resurrection/rebirth
[x ] Unexplained transformation of body, including change in gender, age, species.
[x] Other Plus a strange obsession with sweets and flat-caps.
2. Cause of aforementioned complaint
[ ] Self-inflicted
[ ] Caused by another, known individual
Please enter name of individual here: ________________
(Intentity of complainant will be kept private should legal issues arise)
[x ] Of unknown cause
3. Requested action
[ ] Compensation to the sum of _______ to be paid into ___________(name of account held at Bank of Eru)
[x ] Restoration to former self. I want my grand-dad back!
[ ] Resoration but with the following alterations:
[ ] Different colour eyes.
Please enter preferred eye colour__________
If eye colour unavailable, would you accept coloured contact lenses? [ ]Y [ ]N
[ ] Different gender
[ ] Larger breasts
[ ] Longer legs
[ ] Greater tolerance for alcohol
[x ] Improved intelligence* ie. NOT senile.
[ ] To attract/impress more members of opposite sex*
[ ] To attract/impress members of same sex*
[ ] The knowledge that my complaint has been formally recognised is compensation enough for me.
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Please fill out the following section so that we know who is making use of our services and how we may tailor them to suit your needs!
[a]Full Name & Title Ar-Pharazôn Kathuphazgânun.
[b]Address 1.My Fort, Hyarmen Tirion, Aman.
2.New-Rómenna Shipyard, East Coast, Aman. (Under construction, mail delivered to the foreman, name of Gerald.
[c]Next of kin Gimilkhâd. No, not Tar-Palantir or Inzilbeth, Gimilkhâd. So there.
[d]Race/Kindred Adûnâim/Dúnedain
[e]Length of residence in Aman Not long, can't be bothered looking it up.
[f]Favourite colour Black.
[g]Preference:
Good [ ]
Evil [ ]
Eönwë [x ] I'm assuming that means "neither" or "not important."
[h]Any special skills Public speaking, armed combat, being an asshole.
[i]Average speed of a Winged Nazgûl What do you mean? An Aman Nazgûl or a Middle Earth Nazgûl? You see the Aman Nazgûl is non-migratory.
[j]Height of Mount Túna My mun's nerd-atlas doesn't say.
[k]Complete the following sentences:
1. Burritos are Tasty.
2. If I ruled Aman for a day, I would Install nationalist devolved governments.
3. Elves are Surprisingly violent.
4. Mortals are Fantastic!
5. Ainur are Unpredictable
6. Námo is Not all there.
Reply
We thank you for registering your complaint with us and promise to deal with the situation urgently.
Have a nice day!
Reply
Damn pen-pushers, I knew I should have put "execute all civil servants" in the "if I ruled Aman" section.
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