Sadness...
There are four people out of my entire extended family that I enjoy knowing.
My sister, my uncle, my aunt, and my grandfather.
My grandfather is on the top of that list. He was in the Canadian Navy during WW2 and it almost never angry. He has the most beautiful garden I have ever seen and he gives all the kids in his neighborhood candy. Back when my paternal side of the family still talked with my mother, he and my grandmother would visit us in Bothell. He would bring a big tub of tree or person shaped cookies with lots of icing or a huge bag of carmel candy. He would spoil us, and call us all sweetheart because he has six granddaughters that are only eleven years apart. I have many fond memories of visiting them in Canada during the summer. Going to zoos and beaches and getting my face painted.
Now he is dying, and I feel like god hates me. My mom is getting her boob chopped off next month, but she says her cancer is more serious then that and that she won't survive another six monthes. I don't know if I should believe her or not and that battle continues daily in my head. Mom refuses to send us money unless Cat calls her but Cat won't call her because she promised she would never contact her again if she relapsed. Fuck. This is fucked.
I need something to drink.
My sister, my uncle, my aunt, and my grandfather.
My grandfather is on the top of that list. He was in the Canadian Navy during WW2 and it almost never angry. He has the most beautiful garden I have ever seen and he gives all the kids in his neighborhood candy. Back when my paternal side of the family still talked with my mother, he and my grandmother would visit us in Bothell. He would bring a big tub of tree or person shaped cookies with lots of icing or a huge bag of carmel candy. He would spoil us, and call us all sweetheart because he has six granddaughters that are only eleven years apart. I have many fond memories of visiting them in Canada during the summer. Going to zoos and beaches and getting my face painted.
Now he is dying, and I feel like god hates me. My mom is getting her boob chopped off next month, but she says her cancer is more serious then that and that she won't survive another six monthes. I don't know if I should believe her or not and that battle continues daily in my head. Mom refuses to send us money unless Cat calls her but Cat won't call her because she promised she would never contact her again if she relapsed. Fuck. This is fucked.
I need something to drink.