Oh you, Kepler
JOHANNES KEPLER!
Oh my, you guys. I keep seeing this picture, and thinking he's eating a chicken drumstick, or throwing up, or something. That is THE MOST RIDICULOUS BEARD EVER.
And now I want fic with people having ridiculous beards. Or possibly (oh my god, please, somebody do this), fic with HIM having the ridiculous beard that he has in this picture, and being RIDICULED by his lover, and then they have HOT HISTORICAL GAY SEX.
...or something.
Oh, and Merry Christmas to all you lovely people. You'd better get some cool stuff! :D
EDIT: I have not at all been working out who to ship him with. On my travels to WIKIPEDIA, HOME OF THE GODS, I found this out!:
He probably knew Galileo!
Well, he helped legitimise Galileo's theory of telescopic stuff (which, according to MUM, is ODD. Kepler turned out to have NO IDEA about the telescope, and it wasn't in his interests AT ALL to help Galileo. So - wtf? Mum was all "blackmail?" and I was all "bribing Galileo for sex?"...I didn't say that last bit out loud), and they totally lived at the same time.
So. Um.
Oh! And they have THE SAME ridiculous beard. I bet Galileo told Kepler to tell everyone he was right, or else NO SEX! And Kepler said he would, BUT ONLY IF Galileo got a silly beard! And then later, during sex (which always melted Kepler's mind, and that's how Galileo got his way, half the time), Galileo convinced Kepler to get the same beard!
And my OTP is born.