sunday.. not so great start, decent ending....
woke up and had a lot of the fog and lack of coherent thought and almost started to flip out hard... i almost decided to go back to bed.... and i almost did .. got as far as lying down to do so before it kicked in and i told myself no, this is how you coped in the PAST, get out of bed, go do something to make your brain wake up.. this is a result of the valium you had to take yesterday and having a couple more drinks than intended at the club, take your meds, smoke some hookah and give it some time.. so thats what i did and the day eventually got back to normal.. now at 6am i feel fine.
i did go ahead and take a nap from about midnight till about 4 cause i have to stay up and take the car to the shop at 9 and be coherent enough to drive a fullsize rental SUV back home... not doing that with no sleep.. no way in hell.
because of my shitty day, i didnt get the car cleaned out as i had planned.. ok so i missed one hurdle due to overdoing it th night before.. this is a learning process, and this is a lesson learned. from now on no more valium, and if i go to the club, no more than one cocktail and possibly one beer depending on how long i am there. that should fix this issue and keep it from happening again..
and sorry this post is coming so late tonight if you are following these between the nap and waking up and deciding to indulge my geek side and pursuit of knowledge i lost track of time watching an episode of carl sagan's cosmos series... does it make me odd that watching something like that all th way through leaves me feeling really good at the end as i reexamine everything i just learned somewhere in my head? or the fact that i'll put on the science channel and get excited when the show starts and talks about what they are gonna cover and its something i have been wanting to know more about? if it werent for my inability to do homework consistantly, i prolly would have become one of those lifelong college people that wind up with multiple PhD's, i know i'm smart enough.. just too lazy to make the effort to prove i have learned the material.
jenn seems much much happier as she sees me actually doing things that show i am functioning again, and is actually being pretty supportive and caring now.. when i woke up and she saw me having a bad day she told me not to kick myself if i needed to go back to sleep that it would be a hard habit to break, and said she was proud when i decided not to. this pleases me very much.
on other notes, things are becoming more "normal" to me, my thought processes are finally starting to not seem so foreign and unusual, this is making them much easier to handle and organize etc. i didnt expect that this soon, and that too may be from the alcohol and valium yesterday, we will see how today is even though my schedule is gonna be fucked.
not much else i can recall at this point that i feel like noting other than one thing... last night when i finally got home and unwound and it was bedtime, i lied down and had the sudden enlightening that getting into bed feels soooooo much better when you havent spent 14+ of the last 24 hours already in it :)
i did go ahead and take a nap from about midnight till about 4 cause i have to stay up and take the car to the shop at 9 and be coherent enough to drive a fullsize rental SUV back home... not doing that with no sleep.. no way in hell.
because of my shitty day, i didnt get the car cleaned out as i had planned.. ok so i missed one hurdle due to overdoing it th night before.. this is a learning process, and this is a lesson learned. from now on no more valium, and if i go to the club, no more than one cocktail and possibly one beer depending on how long i am there. that should fix this issue and keep it from happening again..
and sorry this post is coming so late tonight if you are following these between the nap and waking up and deciding to indulge my geek side and pursuit of knowledge i lost track of time watching an episode of carl sagan's cosmos series... does it make me odd that watching something like that all th way through leaves me feeling really good at the end as i reexamine everything i just learned somewhere in my head? or the fact that i'll put on the science channel and get excited when the show starts and talks about what they are gonna cover and its something i have been wanting to know more about? if it werent for my inability to do homework consistantly, i prolly would have become one of those lifelong college people that wind up with multiple PhD's, i know i'm smart enough.. just too lazy to make the effort to prove i have learned the material.
jenn seems much much happier as she sees me actually doing things that show i am functioning again, and is actually being pretty supportive and caring now.. when i woke up and she saw me having a bad day she told me not to kick myself if i needed to go back to sleep that it would be a hard habit to break, and said she was proud when i decided not to. this pleases me very much.
on other notes, things are becoming more "normal" to me, my thought processes are finally starting to not seem so foreign and unusual, this is making them much easier to handle and organize etc. i didnt expect that this soon, and that too may be from the alcohol and valium yesterday, we will see how today is even though my schedule is gonna be fucked.
not much else i can recall at this point that i feel like noting other than one thing... last night when i finally got home and unwound and it was bedtime, i lied down and had the sudden enlightening that getting into bed feels soooooo much better when you havent spent 14+ of the last 24 hours already in it :)