My least favorite thing ever.... Work!
Ok well for a while now I've been meaning to talk about working at subway and the things I dislike the most about it. Specifically today I'm going to talk about the kinds of sandwiches i hate making the most. Now don't get me wrong I hate making All of them! But that is mostly due to the fact that i have to make them for people. So now in no particular order.
1. Cold Cut Trio/Combo.
Now on the surface this would seem to be a relatively easy sandwich to make, The meat comes pre portioned and the only real prep involved is putting it into a container and cutting it in half in the case of a 6 inch. It's a Bologna sandwich there are no if ands or buts about it (turkey bologna at that) There are 2 kinds of people who order this sandwich The people who understand that and those that refute it. The customer who Isn't lying to themselves gets white bread, American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes (maybe) and Mayo and mustard That's it.
The main problem with this sandwich are the other customers the ones who can't live with the fact that they are buying a bologna sandwich. These fuckers HAVE to go out of their way to make the sandwich as "special" as possible. Served cold? No fucking deal they need it toasted (yum microwaved bologna) these people are the single most aggravated assclowns alive due to the fact that we dropped provolone cheese (American cheese? on MY cold cut trio? how passe) Seriously? Fucking provolone? For your goddamn Bologna sandwich??? Fuck you!! and these motherfuckers ask for it EVERY time (regardless of the fact that we have carried it for over a year and a half) And they Always seem confused by the fact that it isn't available and after confirming no Swiss (of course) they take on a somewhat haughty look and choose cheddar. And all of that is the quick part. For the non-retarded customer (and an even marginally skilled sandwich artist) it takes about 10 seconds, For these fucks all of this including inquires about which is the freshest bread (If, by the way you ask which is the freshest bread prepare to be lied to) puzzling out a world where provolone cheese isn't the default for a bologna sandwich, and making the super tough decision of what to do instead, you are looking at like a minute...
Now sure that doesn't Seem like a long time, But from a strictly mathematical point of view It takes these people 6 times longer than the other and that is only the first quarter of the process. Next come the vegetables. Everything... Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, pickle, green pepper, olives, onion, peppercinis, and jalapenos All of it. Except WAIT not Lettuce, how common, They Need spinach instead I mean just anyone could get lettuce on this and that's no good... Then it is on to condiments. Sometimes Mayo, mustard (but it has to be spicy brown mustard) and usually they throw in at least one of the other sauces from a different sandwich, Then oil/vinegar salt/pepper and of course Parmesan cheese and oregano.
And that is just my Main problem with them. The lesser problem stems from the name. For a long time it was called the cold cut combo and it's only been in recent years that they changed it to cold cut trio so either name works until you add a Person into the mix. here is a sample conversation taking place at the register.
Emp. "Ok so that was a cold cut combo?"
Cust. "Oh no i just want a sandwich"
emp. "huh?"
cust. "not the combo just the sandwich"
emp. "oh... i get it. (moron)"
Man, well it seems I've gone on for quite some time already and have to think about getting ready to go to work to the job I love so much of making sure that imbeciles get nourishment... So i guess I'll continue this some other time. If my normal posting schedule holds true I'd guess sometime next year.
1. Cold Cut Trio/Combo.
Now on the surface this would seem to be a relatively easy sandwich to make, The meat comes pre portioned and the only real prep involved is putting it into a container and cutting it in half in the case of a 6 inch. It's a Bologna sandwich there are no if ands or buts about it (turkey bologna at that) There are 2 kinds of people who order this sandwich The people who understand that and those that refute it. The customer who Isn't lying to themselves gets white bread, American cheese, lettuce, tomatoes (maybe) and Mayo and mustard That's it.
The main problem with this sandwich are the other customers the ones who can't live with the fact that they are buying a bologna sandwich. These fuckers HAVE to go out of their way to make the sandwich as "special" as possible. Served cold? No fucking deal they need it toasted (yum microwaved bologna) these people are the single most aggravated assclowns alive due to the fact that we dropped provolone cheese (American cheese? on MY cold cut trio? how passe) Seriously? Fucking provolone? For your goddamn Bologna sandwich??? Fuck you!! and these motherfuckers ask for it EVERY time (regardless of the fact that we have carried it for over a year and a half) And they Always seem confused by the fact that it isn't available and after confirming no Swiss (of course) they take on a somewhat haughty look and choose cheddar. And all of that is the quick part. For the non-retarded customer (and an even marginally skilled sandwich artist) it takes about 10 seconds, For these fucks all of this including inquires about which is the freshest bread (If, by the way you ask which is the freshest bread prepare to be lied to) puzzling out a world where provolone cheese isn't the default for a bologna sandwich, and making the super tough decision of what to do instead, you are looking at like a minute...
Now sure that doesn't Seem like a long time, But from a strictly mathematical point of view It takes these people 6 times longer than the other and that is only the first quarter of the process. Next come the vegetables. Everything... Lettuce, tomato, cucumber, pickle, green pepper, olives, onion, peppercinis, and jalapenos All of it. Except WAIT not Lettuce, how common, They Need spinach instead I mean just anyone could get lettuce on this and that's no good... Then it is on to condiments. Sometimes Mayo, mustard (but it has to be spicy brown mustard) and usually they throw in at least one of the other sauces from a different sandwich, Then oil/vinegar salt/pepper and of course Parmesan cheese and oregano.
And that is just my Main problem with them. The lesser problem stems from the name. For a long time it was called the cold cut combo and it's only been in recent years that they changed it to cold cut trio so either name works until you add a Person into the mix. here is a sample conversation taking place at the register.
Emp. "Ok so that was a cold cut combo?"
Cust. "Oh no i just want a sandwich"
emp. "huh?"
cust. "not the combo just the sandwich"
emp. "oh... i get it. (moron)"
Man, well it seems I've gone on for quite some time already and have to think about getting ready to go to work to the job I love so much of making sure that imbeciles get nourishment... So i guess I'll continue this some other time. If my normal posting schedule holds true I'd guess sometime next year.