(no subject)
I just want to spend weeks at a time in my bedroom. But I know I couldn't. I NEED people to be around me. That's the only thing that makes me comfortable. When I'm not around people I feel empty inside. I am extremely co-dependent on other people and there is something I need to do about that. The summer going into 10th grade I probably hung out with people 5 or 6 times. I worked 40 hours a week. I didn't want to hang out with anyone. They all made me sick. I was happy with my job, and my couch. Now I am completely different. It's an overall awful feeling that I feel this way. Thank god I have Heather. I think she is the only person that I can rely on. I need to just let go of some emotional ties and loosen up. Maybe spend a weekend in my room, smoking cigarettes and burying myself in my Charles Bukowski books. I need to find a new way to be happy.
I know I can be happy.
I know I can be happy.