Change, 24, school and other stuff
So classes start tomorrow for me and I don't really want to go. I am already tired. I am excited about making charts, but I had to make a chart of the charts I have to do. I was really pumped about school, but after being on campus for a while today, I am just tired of seminary, I think, and wanting change. Does alot of that come out of not being content, most likely. Is some of it a cultural thing? Probably; I think the culture now is about change and moving and not settling in places, but that something new and excited will fulfill you instead. Is another part of it me wanting to either be married or starting my career-um yes. Also I feel the pressure of all the things I"m responsible for this semester-school, work, practicum (clients), baby-sitting, WEC stuff, friends, taking care of myself. and I think that if I move then I lose alot of that responsibility and that's very appealing to me. B/c truth be told, I don't really like being responsible-b/c with that comes that I could disappoint people and I hate doing that. But I have to say that I think it's going to be a good semester-another one of perseverance, and probably not a whole lot of free time, but I think I learn stuff and be challenged.
I've been watching alot of 24 and it's good, but I have thought about not finishing all the seasons and not watching the new one b/c it's so violent. I am really seeing how sensitive I am. Like on spiritual gifts tests I always score high on mercy, which is a good thing since I am studying counseling, but I see that being played out even in watching 24. Alot of people die on the show and alot of people get tortured and I just kind of feel this sense of a lack of respect, that's not quite the right word, for human life and just having a few choice people deciding who should live and who should die. I find myself covering my eyes alot. I've even teared up in a few places. And the more I am exposed to the violence the more sensitive I become to it. I think I will continue watching it, b/c I do love to see how the story unfolds, even if the plot is a little redundant sometimes. =)
I saw my first client on Friday. She cried; my supervisor said I must be doing something right, but really all I said was what brings you to counseling. The crying didn't bother me at all; I kind of expect it to happen. I feel very inadequate to be counseling people. Some people tell me that they don't know why I'm nervous, but it's different than sitting down with a friend. On Saturday, I was helping a friend move and started talking to this homeless guy and he was sharing his story and was talking about how he couldn't go back to his family b/c he's hurt them so much and I asked him if he thought he was still hurting them by isolating himself from them. Yeah, he cried too.
I should probably go to bed since I have class at 8:30 in the morning and have class until 9:30 at night. It's going to be a long day.
Peace out!!!
I've been watching alot of 24 and it's good, but I have thought about not finishing all the seasons and not watching the new one b/c it's so violent. I am really seeing how sensitive I am. Like on spiritual gifts tests I always score high on mercy, which is a good thing since I am studying counseling, but I see that being played out even in watching 24. Alot of people die on the show and alot of people get tortured and I just kind of feel this sense of a lack of respect, that's not quite the right word, for human life and just having a few choice people deciding who should live and who should die. I find myself covering my eyes alot. I've even teared up in a few places. And the more I am exposed to the violence the more sensitive I become to it. I think I will continue watching it, b/c I do love to see how the story unfolds, even if the plot is a little redundant sometimes. =)
I saw my first client on Friday. She cried; my supervisor said I must be doing something right, but really all I said was what brings you to counseling. The crying didn't bother me at all; I kind of expect it to happen. I feel very inadequate to be counseling people. Some people tell me that they don't know why I'm nervous, but it's different than sitting down with a friend. On Saturday, I was helping a friend move and started talking to this homeless guy and he was sharing his story and was talking about how he couldn't go back to his family b/c he's hurt them so much and I asked him if he thought he was still hurting them by isolating himself from them. Yeah, he cried too.
I should probably go to bed since I have class at 8:30 in the morning and have class until 9:30 at night. It's going to be a long day.
Peace out!!!