Nov 17, 2006 17:29
So I"m back in Alabama. I had a fantastic time in Tuscaloosa. The drive really wasn't so bad. I made it in like 8 hours and 15 minutes, which is excellent time. It did rain and there was quite a bit of wind in Texas.
I drove in and met Beth and Haynie at Qdoba, then went to the 20/30 Bible study. It was okay. They are doing like spiritual gift invetory/assessment stuff and there was this terrible video about servanthood. Then I went over to the Well. It was incredible but more than that. The Holy Spirit was there, you felt the presence of God. The worship team is incredible. Not only do they sound fantastic, you can just see the Holy Spirit working through them while they are up there. It's an incredible environment to be in. And Ben's message was fantastic-it was vulnerable and real. He was talking about death and shared the story of how his mom passed away 4 years ago that day. He talked about sorrow and it's a part of life and a part of life I think we like to forget about or ignore b/c aren't Christians supposed to be happy all the time and never doubt? His message helped me tremendously as a future counselor and also just in minstering to my friends who are suffering in sorrow and pain right now. It truly makes my heart happy to be what the Lord is doing with the college ministry at Calvary. It makes me want to continue in my prayers for them now that I've seen what I've heard Alan and Lindsey and Stephen talk about. I am so glad that I was able to be there Wednesday night. Then on Thursday I worked on a paper then had lunch with Alan and then hung out with Alan and Beau until I drove to my mom's.
I don't know what the rest of my trip will look like. My plans for tonight were cancelled, so I might just do some school work. That sounds kind of sad, but I need to get stuff done and that's not going to happen tomorrow b/c it's the Iron Bowl. Normally I'm a pressure worker but now that I just have the time to do whatever I kind of want to do school work. I'm such a nerd.
So there are a couple of things I'm wrestling with that I'd like to have some prayer about. The first one is about going back to Russia next summer. I don't like the organization that I go with, they love money, aren't honest and I don't think the Kingdom is on the top of their priority list. Last year I didn't realize just how much money overrides their desire for the Kingdom so I could put it aside and go minister to people that I love. Recently, as of last night, I learned some other things that I won't share and I just honestly don't know if I can return with them which means not returning to people that I dearly love. B/c it's not just going to Russia it's going to people that I've built a relationship with in Russia. It's all about the people for me. And I also feel like I need to stay in the States next summer and work and save for school since I don't really know how it's all going to be paid for. But the thought of not returning to Russia next summer makes my heart hurt. I don't really even want to think about not being there, but I think it's a sacrifice I'm going to have to make.
The other thing I a little less serious to some extent b/c I"m struggling over women's roles (which I don't like this word) in ministry, more specifically in the church. I really don't have a problem with women being pastors, head pastors b/c really I think that people should be chosen b/c of their gifts and calling not gender. One of my professors talks about thinking Biblically beyond the Bible, like what was done with slavery (which I can explain to you if you want to hear it). And also just to give women the freedom and grace to do what men do. But one person said to me that different roles doesn't mean inequality which I'm struggling through and then another friend brought up that men lead women in marriage and the relationship that has in the church. And I don't know how to refute either of those points. And you know part of me just wants to be radical and outside the box but I don't want to be a heretic. But then I think what if I"m in Russia with a team of let's say 3 women and we're in an place where there isn't a Jesus-believing church and we start like a house church and say in our ministry there some people become believers and some of those people are men and we have this church, aren't we going to be leading and teaching him? Or would we not be considered a "real church?" But each of us would be a pastor of some sort and someone would maybe take more leadeship and it would be women not men b/c the men aren't in a place where they can. What if none of the men as they grew felt the call to lead the church? Then what? Or is it still not considered a "real church?" So I"m kind of stuck. And I have to write a paper that deals with this stuff. So if you think about it, just pray that I would know truth.
I think if I make this much longer no one will read it.
Peace out!!!