scattered
That's how I've been feeling pretty much since I got back from Russia and that's probably how this entry is going to be. =) Although I think that's how most of my entries are.
First the trivial things that have been on my mind. So Cheerios came out with Fruit Cheerios,so I think those are actually called Fruit Loops.
I've been thinking about buying a pet. Maybe just a fish or hermit crab. I know so cute and cuddly. I do have my Plant, which I love and have brought back to life about 3 times. But I'd kind of like to have a moving living thing in my apartment to take care of. I can't afford a dog or cat. And I'd get a turtle but I don't want to get salmonella. Which I guess if I kept Mr. Turtle clean that wouldn't happen. I might cruise Pets Mart and see what available.
Smallville season 5 comes out soon!!! I am super-pumped about this. Although I wasn't such a fan of season 5 altogether I think after I watch it all together I will be. =)
Okay onto more serious things. I just had a good long talk with the Lord, something I haven't really done enough of recently. I also spent some time in the Word. Here's one thing that I read "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffereing need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13. Unfortunately this is not where my heart is, but it's where I want to be. I'm just being honest, but I don't want to be here, I don't want to go back to school. I just want to go back to Russia. I was talking to my friend Katie and she said that she loved reading my e-mails from Russia b/c even though I was struggling with things I sounded full and alive. And she's right. Like this summer confirmed more to me that that's my calling or however you want to phrase it. But God has also called me to DTS for this season of my life and even though I don't want to write papers in stupid Turabian format or read until my eyes are going to fall out, I think that's just obedience I have to learn. I think this semester is going to be about perseverance (although what semester isn't), learning obedience and just being refined even more. As I was talking to the Lord I realized that if I really wanted to just do what I wanted, then I wouldn't become anymore like Jesus than I already am and that wasn't okay with me at all. And I think I"m really going to see my heart/will turn more towards the Lord's. And it's going to be another one of those semesters of picking up my cross daily and carrying it, although I guess that's how life should always be. There's going to be alot of surrendering of myself and my wants to Jesus and just trusting Him with my life. You know, I realized that Russia was where the Lord was leading me about 3 years ago and when I went last summer there was a little doubt in me. I thought what if I hate it and I was completely wrong about this desire. But I learned that I wasn't wrong and that desire was put there by the Lord and He totally fulfilled that desire my allowing me to go there. He proved Himself faithful as He always does. And I have confidence that He'll send me back again and again and for a long time one of those times. I have faith that He will work everything out. He's done so thus far and He's not going to change. My prayer is that the Lord makes me content and shows me the secret. B/c you can be content and long for something at the same time. It just depends on where your focus is I think.
So I've fallen in love with Hillsong, this one song in particular called From the Inside Out. I'll just let the lyrics speak without me adding my thoughts, although those could come at a later date and time. =)
"A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out"
First the trivial things that have been on my mind. So Cheerios came out with Fruit Cheerios,so I think those are actually called Fruit Loops.
I've been thinking about buying a pet. Maybe just a fish or hermit crab. I know so cute and cuddly. I do have my Plant, which I love and have brought back to life about 3 times. But I'd kind of like to have a moving living thing in my apartment to take care of. I can't afford a dog or cat. And I'd get a turtle but I don't want to get salmonella. Which I guess if I kept Mr. Turtle clean that wouldn't happen. I might cruise Pets Mart and see what available.
Smallville season 5 comes out soon!!! I am super-pumped about this. Although I wasn't such a fan of season 5 altogether I think after I watch it all together I will be. =)
Okay onto more serious things. I just had a good long talk with the Lord, something I haven't really done enough of recently. I also spent some time in the Word. Here's one thing that I read "Not that I speak from want; for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffereing need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13. Unfortunately this is not where my heart is, but it's where I want to be. I'm just being honest, but I don't want to be here, I don't want to go back to school. I just want to go back to Russia. I was talking to my friend Katie and she said that she loved reading my e-mails from Russia b/c even though I was struggling with things I sounded full and alive. And she's right. Like this summer confirmed more to me that that's my calling or however you want to phrase it. But God has also called me to DTS for this season of my life and even though I don't want to write papers in stupid Turabian format or read until my eyes are going to fall out, I think that's just obedience I have to learn. I think this semester is going to be about perseverance (although what semester isn't), learning obedience and just being refined even more. As I was talking to the Lord I realized that if I really wanted to just do what I wanted, then I wouldn't become anymore like Jesus than I already am and that wasn't okay with me at all. And I think I"m really going to see my heart/will turn more towards the Lord's. And it's going to be another one of those semesters of picking up my cross daily and carrying it, although I guess that's how life should always be. There's going to be alot of surrendering of myself and my wants to Jesus and just trusting Him with my life. You know, I realized that Russia was where the Lord was leading me about 3 years ago and when I went last summer there was a little doubt in me. I thought what if I hate it and I was completely wrong about this desire. But I learned that I wasn't wrong and that desire was put there by the Lord and He totally fulfilled that desire my allowing me to go there. He proved Himself faithful as He always does. And I have confidence that He'll send me back again and again and for a long time one of those times. I have faith that He will work everything out. He's done so thus far and He's not going to change. My prayer is that the Lord makes me content and shows me the secret. B/c you can be content and long for something at the same time. It just depends on where your focus is I think.
So I've fallen in love with Hillsong, this one song in particular called From the Inside Out. I'll just let the lyrics speak without me adding my thoughts, although those could come at a later date and time. =)
"A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out"