I learned.....
You can't make someone have feelings for you, no matter what you do. It's ok to make mistakes and cry and scream. You may cringe when you think about them later, but remember that everyone makes mistakes and in a couple months it won't even matter anymore. What you may think is important now, really might not be that important. So be yourself. Do what feels right. Do what makes you happy. Don't care what other people think or how they will look at you after you fall down again or make another scene. Just live and be you.