The Truth About Me
The Truth About Me...
I am a terrible person, I am a seriously troubled and terrible person. Today my pregnant wife and I were at Target, and I hit a kid. She died. Of embarassment, I bet. There was a baby car seat in my shopping trolley, and my wife was zoning out, so I totally couldn't see this kid. To make matters worse, the cart wouldn't move for a second (because this small child was almost under the thing), and I thought it was just stuck, so I kept on at ramming speed. Hit a kid and didn't stop there, kept hitting kid. The girl had to have her mother come over and pull her out from under my B.O.B. I am a terrible person.
To make matters worse on the way home there was a lady with some sort of, I believe, physical and mental disability that was so bad she had to have a walker and a unibrow (damn, that was cold, I suck). She was also wearing a purple personal-i-tee with Badtz-Maru on it that said "Stop Staring". How do I know these two things for a fact. It is because I was staring (if only mildly), when the shirt was blatantly telling me not to.
Also, does anyone agree that this is pretty ironic use of a personal-i-tee??
The Icing on the cake is that in just about a month I am going to be someone's trolley rampaging, disabled staring daddy. At least I know how to make a crib, and
GOT YOUR NOSE...
PANTYHOSE!!
Fuck you Dads of the World!!
James Meyer is coming, so step it up, or look shitty!!
Livejournal exclusive bonus track...
...i just ate some canned MAC & CHEESE.
OMG!! Supersuck fest
I am a terrible person, I am a seriously troubled and terrible person. Today my pregnant wife and I were at Target, and I hit a kid. She died. Of embarassment, I bet. There was a baby car seat in my shopping trolley, and my wife was zoning out, so I totally couldn't see this kid. To make matters worse, the cart wouldn't move for a second (because this small child was almost under the thing), and I thought it was just stuck, so I kept on at ramming speed. Hit a kid and didn't stop there, kept hitting kid. The girl had to have her mother come over and pull her out from under my B.O.B. I am a terrible person.
To make matters worse on the way home there was a lady with some sort of, I believe, physical and mental disability that was so bad she had to have a walker and a unibrow (damn, that was cold, I suck). She was also wearing a purple personal-i-tee with Badtz-Maru on it that said "Stop Staring". How do I know these two things for a fact. It is because I was staring (if only mildly), when the shirt was blatantly telling me not to.
Also, does anyone agree that this is pretty ironic use of a personal-i-tee??
The Icing on the cake is that in just about a month I am going to be someone's trolley rampaging, disabled staring daddy. At least I know how to make a crib, and
GOT YOUR NOSE...
PANTYHOSE!!
Fuck you Dads of the World!!
James Meyer is coming, so step it up, or look shitty!!
Livejournal exclusive bonus track...
...i just ate some canned MAC & CHEESE.
OMG!! Supersuck fest