Flood Street sucked.
(The following song was written in the summer of 2002. It has never been recorded.)
MAURICE ESCARGOT (Ode to Gary Oldman)
Lyrics by Mike "Jade" Sopczynski and Andrews "Andy" Cope.
Andy: Jade, get everyone...
Jade: Everyone?
Andy: EVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRYYYYYOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNE!!!!!!!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Did you shoot Kennedy?
Try to mutiliate Anthony?
(Andy falsetto: Hopkins in Hannibal!!)
In that flick you had a messed up face!
Then you went and got lost in spaaace!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Beloved guy as Beethoven
Allllways drunk on friends!
Your psycho roles never eeennnd!
As a vampire you looked like a witch
Tried to murder Milla Jovovich
Found death with Tim Roth
You're balls-hard, and then you can be soft
Like in...
BULLSHIT! You're always balls fuckin' hard!
Ooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Ooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Killed Leon, that was cold man!
Andy rant: I'll tell ya Jade, every now and then I'll look at Sam Elliot and think HE'S balls-hard. That's crap! It's Gary Oldman to the extreme! Sometimes I walk down the street and shout things to passersby like, "Hey you! Fat Crippled Asian Broad In The Wheelchair! How balls-hard do you think you are!?" Don't talk 'cause you're nothing! You're not Sid Vicious! I am an Anarchist! My mother is giving me crap! Telling me to stop living my life like the man who played Reverend Arthur Dimesdale! And I say, "Momma, how could I NOT love the guy who porked Demi Moore while she was still with Die Hard? Don't question my love for the man who would be Egor Korshnov!!"
Mike: Hey Andy.
Andy: Yo!
Mike: You do know Gary's real first name is Leonard, right?
Andy: ...what?...
Mike: Leonard Gary Oldman. That's his birthname.
Andy: That's crap! You're just jealous that you're balls-hard-o-meter is nowhere near the supernova capacity of the bleeding Romeo! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE JADE!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Shoulda starred in Ronin!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Andy: Man, man... Now that I think about it... Sam Elliot really is more balls hard! JADE COME BACK!
Andy and Jade:
Oooooh, Sam Elliot
Oooooh, Sam Elliot
Total balls-hard in the Sacketts!
-Cope/Sopczynski
MAURICE ESCARGOT (Ode to Gary Oldman)
Lyrics by Mike "Jade" Sopczynski and Andrews "Andy" Cope.
Andy: Jade, get everyone...
Jade: Everyone?
Andy: EVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEERRRRRRRYYYYYOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNE!!!!!!!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Did you shoot Kennedy?
Try to mutiliate Anthony?
(Andy falsetto: Hopkins in Hannibal!!)
In that flick you had a messed up face!
Then you went and got lost in spaaace!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Oooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Beloved guy as Beethoven
Allllways drunk on friends!
Your psycho roles never eeennnd!
As a vampire you looked like a witch
Tried to murder Milla Jovovich
Found death with Tim Roth
You're balls-hard, and then you can be soft
Like in...
BULLSHIT! You're always balls fuckin' hard!
Ooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Ooooh, you're Gary Oldman!
Killed Leon, that was cold man!
Andy rant: I'll tell ya Jade, every now and then I'll look at Sam Elliot and think HE'S balls-hard. That's crap! It's Gary Oldman to the extreme! Sometimes I walk down the street and shout things to passersby like, "Hey you! Fat Crippled Asian Broad In The Wheelchair! How balls-hard do you think you are!?" Don't talk 'cause you're nothing! You're not Sid Vicious! I am an Anarchist! My mother is giving me crap! Telling me to stop living my life like the man who played Reverend Arthur Dimesdale! And I say, "Momma, how could I NOT love the guy who porked Demi Moore while she was still with Die Hard? Don't question my love for the man who would be Egor Korshnov!!"
Mike: Hey Andy.
Andy: Yo!
Mike: You do know Gary's real first name is Leonard, right?
Andy: ...what?...
Mike: Leonard Gary Oldman. That's his birthname.
Andy: That's crap! You're just jealous that you're balls-hard-o-meter is nowhere near the supernova capacity of the bleeding Romeo! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE JADE!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Shoulda starred in Ronin!
Ooooh, Gary Oldman!
Andy: Man, man... Now that I think about it... Sam Elliot really is more balls hard! JADE COME BACK!
Andy and Jade:
Oooooh, Sam Elliot
Oooooh, Sam Elliot
Total balls-hard in the Sacketts!
-Cope/Sopczynski