(no subject)
the cliched "it's been so long since I wrote in this" phrase comes to mind. Well let me see. Let me start at the beginning, or at least close.. Bridget and I are sadly no longer attached.. hmm yeah.. at first I was bothered, really bothered, but now I realize, looking back on it, and talking to my mom about it, it wasn't all just my fault, and excuses are still excuses, and drama and immaturity is still the same, and with that I think that everyone could use a little growing up. Stephanie and I went to the grid one wednesday, and this girl nicole came over to talk with me, not stephanie, but me.. and we danced and she gave me her number, and yes, I believe she was interested in me at that time but yeah.. then the next day I called her and we went to the mall and hung out. and we talked forever it seemed.. and then on that friday nicole her ex and a friend and I hung out, and until her ex freaked out and they had a big fight infront of the whole world it seemed, then the friend and ex left and I tried to make nicole happy, and we walked around and talked and she showed me the game stack house which is known as 10s and 2s here.. Nicole is american but she lived in japan for 16 years, she has a three year old son and one of the first things she said to me was, I'm not hitting on you I'm over that, I've been fucked over by 16 girls. On that night tara and I got into a big fight and our relationship was to an end, almost.. we went camping saturday and sunday and had a great time.. absolutely. I hung out with nicole on sunday, I stayed with her until like.. five in the morning.. and then the next day I spent the night with her.. nothing happened though, although we were in a horrible neighborhood. I stopped working at camp cheerful.. and then on wednesday tara and I broke up for a good.. 4 hours? maybe.. umm yeah.. it def didn't feel right and now we are starting at the beginning.. ? hmm not really sure.. stuff with us isn't too good, but not too bad either.. she doesn't seem to like nicole, she says it's because she doesn't trust her, but I think she might be afraid that I'm going to cheat on her and nicoles going to steal me from her.. I can't really make anything better, I feel like everything that I do, is wrong, in one way or another. If tara would tell me exactly what is bothering her and I am not just guessing then maybe I could fix things.. but for right now I'm not going to keep pushing things and just wait for her to tell me if she does. Last saturday was my graduation party... ellen white showed up, and her mom asked me if tara and I were together, that was awkward.. lol.. then on sunday I went to nicole's softball game and I ran into geoff from team.. he seemed like he was doing ok. I think the same old same old though... monday was tara's birthday.. and we went to carrabba's they came over and sang to her and gave her an ice cream thing.. and then we went back to her apartment which had no power when we were going to watch a movie... so I put together her bookshelf I got her that she wanted that exact one, even though I guessed.. which was very ironic.... then I left.. kind of peeved but what can you do.. tuesday I had soccer practice.. my first soccer practice. .and it was sooo sweet.. seriously.. so much of a good time.. then nicole and I hung out. we went to buffalo wings and yeah this bitchy girl and nicole got into it, and I actually called the girl a bitch.. or.. you didn't have to be such a big bitch... yeah.. and then we talked to a manage, and nicole was really upset, so we left, after she made scene, and we went to my house.. and then I took her home... wednesday tara and I hung out for a little while and then we had to go back to my house because I forgot my license and then we went to the grid.. where we saw susie.. hmm... and tara and nicole finally met, and I think that I managed to upset them both... and then tara danced because she was forced, and I throw a water bottle at her to be funny.. and now it is been said that it was in a "jealous rage" whatever tara's friends are so ignorant. I left tara's house alittle after six and made vince late.. hmm yeah, I slept and then picked up bethany at camp.. and then went to soccer again.. I love saying that. I then came home and showered, and nicole spent the night and we watched but I'm a cheerleader.. I fell asleep and then tara called, I called her back and I could tell that she wasn't too happy about nicole sleeping over.. gets better.. then on friday nicole and I went to the justice center.. then went to the thrift store and plato's closet, and then I picked up bethany, and we went to home depot and couldn't get the ceiling stuff, then we went to the batting cages, and then I bought a wallet and a new belt.. when I talked to tara she wasn't to happy because I told her nicole was spending the night so we would do my ceiling, but that never got done.. yeah... and today.. I was woken up by tara telling me she was in too much pain to get her medicine so I went to ridgepark square to pick it up.. and I came over her house, we ate and watched Ali.. and then fell asleep.. tara was in a bunch pain.. and I left took a harry potter book{because I read the first one and now am on the second} along with clothes to wash.. and now I'm here.. it's really late and I'm extremely tired and I managed to piss off tara again, before she went out, but it wasn't a big thing, I hope.. hmm yeah.. can you tell we are on very thin ice and it's basically me.. hmm yeah. wonderful oh and I know that tara is afraid of me cheating on her because she says she will kill us both.. hmm great.. how do I make that better. please let me know