journal for the 23
so Bridget Dan and I made cinnamon rolls.. lol now I'm "trying" to finish physics.. I have soo many other things on my mind. I think the only reason I wasn't home schooled was so I could play soccer in high school. now there is no point. I don't get any kind of education.. almost everything I know has been self taught.. see I have a real hard time concentrating around others. when I do it is because I zone out and think real hard. I am so incredibly slow with everything I do because I get distracted soo easily. Physics sucks.. I don't know how to do this problem and it's because I don't know how to set it up.. plus it is asking three other things. hmm yeah.
On a whole new note.. My sister called me today.. asking me about my knee and such. I find out next Friday if I need surgery and well I really don't know if I will need it or not.. I can't tell. I mean I'm in pain even in a still motion.. but that went away and then I hurt it again, so I don't know.. well anyway she was like.. well everything happens for a reason and god has a plan and blah blah blah.. and she was like.. well at least you have your Tara.. exact words.. she said you seem happy with her and what not.. so cute.. and she said something about how she seems normal and not like "psycho Stephanie" ha then she was like I mean your friend Stephanie.. lol and she just made me feel soooooo much better. I can't even explain it.
I didn't feel alone with Bridget and Dan.. I was in my own little world in my mind most of the time though.. we played sequence.. and that was fun I got rocked the first game.. and Dan kind of sat by himself when we made the cinnamon rolls.. and then he helped.. Bridget said something that upset him.. I don't know I wouldn't have got upset.. but when I pout the only people that know that I'm pouting is my mom and sister.. I won't say who she compared to because it might get her into more trouble if he still reads my lj.. but.. she didn't say Dan pouts as much as this person does.. she just said don't pout like this person.. and it upset him.. but I can see it from both points of view. I also feel bad because I said something about Bridget’s past relations and dan didn't know.. and I completely thought he did.. I could have sworn Bridget talked about it before in front of him. .but no he didn't know and that sucks because I feel like I have a big mouth that my foot went completely into and got stuck in my throat. yup. Hmm what else... Bethany and Vince went to soccer and she didn't have her ball and the guy that had an extra was mr woods.. a jv girls dad.. and he said.. well why don't you use your sisters its not like she'll be needing it. FUCKING WONDERFUL.. you know.. it's bad enough that I can't play.. I don't need anyone rubbing it in to me or my family. I feel like such a disappointment.. the only year that I'm apart of that has the chance at being something and I'm hurt through it.. I'm sitting on the bench.. and you know I'm a captain and what do I have to show for it. Mrs. Mennick told me that I have to carry the team on the bench because she said she believes that the teams success is from my leadership.. she told me that i always had away to bring out the best in the girls.. and it was so sweet.. Ashley hurt her leg and had to get surgery for her mcl.. and she told me not to let it get me down and such.. and talking to her probably was a god send.. because I'm just trying to be ok.. I'm worried about my premier.. United soccer makes me soo happy. playing that soccer makes me so happy... I'm happy at the practices and at the games and even if we lose I'm sometimes happy... I worry about not being able to go to these college showcase tournaments that we are going to.. I hope my knee gets better before that... now I'm just rambling so I don't have to do physics.
On a whole new note.. My sister called me today.. asking me about my knee and such. I find out next Friday if I need surgery and well I really don't know if I will need it or not.. I can't tell. I mean I'm in pain even in a still motion.. but that went away and then I hurt it again, so I don't know.. well anyway she was like.. well everything happens for a reason and god has a plan and blah blah blah.. and she was like.. well at least you have your Tara.. exact words.. she said you seem happy with her and what not.. so cute.. and she said something about how she seems normal and not like "psycho Stephanie" ha then she was like I mean your friend Stephanie.. lol and she just made me feel soooooo much better. I can't even explain it.
I didn't feel alone with Bridget and Dan.. I was in my own little world in my mind most of the time though.. we played sequence.. and that was fun I got rocked the first game.. and Dan kind of sat by himself when we made the cinnamon rolls.. and then he helped.. Bridget said something that upset him.. I don't know I wouldn't have got upset.. but when I pout the only people that know that I'm pouting is my mom and sister.. I won't say who she compared to because it might get her into more trouble if he still reads my lj.. but.. she didn't say Dan pouts as much as this person does.. she just said don't pout like this person.. and it upset him.. but I can see it from both points of view. I also feel bad because I said something about Bridget’s past relations and dan didn't know.. and I completely thought he did.. I could have sworn Bridget talked about it before in front of him. .but no he didn't know and that sucks because I feel like I have a big mouth that my foot went completely into and got stuck in my throat. yup. Hmm what else... Bethany and Vince went to soccer and she didn't have her ball and the guy that had an extra was mr woods.. a jv girls dad.. and he said.. well why don't you use your sisters its not like she'll be needing it. FUCKING WONDERFUL.. you know.. it's bad enough that I can't play.. I don't need anyone rubbing it in to me or my family. I feel like such a disappointment.. the only year that I'm apart of that has the chance at being something and I'm hurt through it.. I'm sitting on the bench.. and you know I'm a captain and what do I have to show for it. Mrs. Mennick told me that I have to carry the team on the bench because she said she believes that the teams success is from my leadership.. she told me that i always had away to bring out the best in the girls.. and it was so sweet.. Ashley hurt her leg and had to get surgery for her mcl.. and she told me not to let it get me down and such.. and talking to her probably was a god send.. because I'm just trying to be ok.. I'm worried about my premier.. United soccer makes me soo happy. playing that soccer makes me so happy... I'm happy at the practices and at the games and even if we lose I'm sometimes happy... I worry about not being able to go to these college showcase tournaments that we are going to.. I hope my knee gets better before that... now I'm just rambling so I don't have to do physics.