(no subject)
[chorus-]
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit torn apart We never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
I'm suppose to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain't never suppose to show it, my crew ain't suppose to know it
Even if it means going toe to toe with the Benzino, it don't matter
I never drag 'em in battles that I can handle less I absolutely have to
I?m suppose to set an example, I need to be the leader
My crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever just pop off I'm suppose to be beside 'em
That Ja shit, I tried to squashed it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line, you just don't cross it, and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, this shit went way beyond some Jay Z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent so much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
I'm so caught it I almost feel like I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
Now it's never my object to for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I helped build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions were good
I went through my whole career with out ever mentioning ____
And that's just outta respect for not running my mouth
And talking about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, just wasn't my beef, So I did
I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth while he's all over TV
Now I'm talking a man who literally saved my live, like fuck it
I understand, this is business and this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowing this shit could pop off at any minute
[chorus]
It used to be time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dying
But now it's elevated cause once you put someone's kids in it
Shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more, is it
It's a different ball game, call names and you ain't just rapping
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happening
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it, he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja start gabbing in magazines how he stabbed him
Fuck it 50, smash him, mash him, and let him have it
Meanwhile my intentions pulley'd in other directions
Some receptionist said the source who answers phones at his desk has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his resurrection
Tries to blow the dust of his mic and make a new record
But now he?s fucked the game up cause one of the ways I came was through that publication, the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it got a grudge against me for nothing but fuck it
That motha fucker can get it too, fuck 'em then
But I'm so busy being pissed off, I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with murder inc
And he's inherited mine, which is fine, ain't like either of us mind
Still have soldiers that is on the front line that's willing to die for us
As soon as we give the orders, never to extort us
Strictly to show they support us
Maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in chorus to show we love 'em back
And to let 'em know how important is to have Runyon Avenue soldiers up in
our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more then any award is
But I ain't trying to have none of me people hurt or murdered
It ain't worth it, I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love y'all too much to see the verdict
I'll walk away from it all before I'll let it go any further
Now don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coping
I'm just willing to be the bigger man
If y'all can quiet popping off at the jaws with the knocking
Cause frankly I'm sick of talking
I'm not gonna let someone else's coffin rest on my conscious
[chorus]
i don't know why. but i really like that song. mainly the chorus. but i was driving home from the mexican restaurant this evening, and i just listened to the words. and i don't know. something about that song just really hits home. but yea. i don't know. and then i was driving. and there was a truck that drove around the corner, and all of a sudden its lights were right in front of me. and i tried to imagine what it would be like to turn a corner and have a trucks lights right in front of you. about to run into you. and you know you are going to die. that you will hit this guy and you are powerless to stop it. i mean, what runs through your head? you have all of 3 seconds to think. i mean, what goes on? god. i dont' ever want to have to experience that. i don't want anyone else i know to have to. gosh. i dont' even know. so many things go through my head.
so. mary and amber. you guys are awesome. thank you for talking to me about my "problem". haha. gosh. where would i be without you ladies? haha...probably on the toilet (mary) ahhahaha. you crack me up girl. but yes. i feel much better. gosh. windy gap was awesome. we had to sit outside in the freezing cold for like 15 minutes just thinking. and i thought about a lot of stuff. and i realized that i've been distancing myself from a lot of people, travis too, and i realized that it was bad. and i realized that i was unknowingly distancing myself from him. sometimes for unknown reasons.
[Chorus]
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah
You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide
I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You beautiful soul, yeah
that's another one of my favorite songs. that came on the radio after the eminem one. GOSH. its an amazing song. and i was listening to it before it came on the radio. but yea. i want to have a love like that. where you're the one thing the person wants in the entire world. and they just can't stand it without you. thats what i want. but of course. thats what everyone wants. and only the lucky ones get it. I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS!!!!
but now im going to go do heat yoga. nighty night everyone!!