sticking your feet in the lake...
hm...so i had forgotten how pretty the lake looks at night. gosh. its wonderful. ive also forgotten how much fun i could have at the lake. i haven't even been here for 6 hours and im already having the greatest time. although i wish i could have brought people with me. oh well. hm...let's see.
i went down to the lake before the sun went completely down. it was one of the prettiest sights i have ever seen. with the sun sinking behind the trees, and what little sunlight was still there shining on the water, and the sky turning brilliant shades of purple and pink and orange. it was stunning. not one of those sights where you go "oh wow. thats pretty". but one of those sights where you are speechless. and you wish you could have had a camera or an easel and canvas to make a desperate attempt to capture the beauty before its gone. wow. it was absolutely amazing. and it made me think...
i had another epiphany. i was sitting on the dock (after making an unsuccessful attempt to call travis), and i took off my shoes and just sat there, with my head resting on one of the posts holding the roof of the dock up. and i was just staring at the water. and i started crying. not like sobbing-oh-my-life-is-over crying, but just crying with the beauty of everything. and the knowledge that my life is wonderful. but it also made me think. im 15. im growing up. im not goign to be little forever. if i want to do something with my life, i need to start now. i don't know what i want to do. i mean, part of me wants to act, or model, or something like that. be someone like angelina jolie. not the famous part, but the pure soul part. the part where she makes all that money, and she goes and gives it to the less fortunate people. i want to do that. i want to adopt a child from a desperate country and give them a life they couldn't have even dreamed of. but of course, that probably wouldn't happen. not only for the part that i wouldn't even know where to begin, but its a long shot. so its better to do something that you have a chance with. but i don't know what. and it made me sad. and i dunno why. but oh well.
hm...im going to be fat when i return. my grandma already bought sooo much food. and she tries to force it down my throat at every second of the day. whatever. its good southern food, so im happy. ooh and im goign to go skiing at some point during this vacation. hahaha. my entire family told me i was crazy because its freezing. but its really not. it feels wonderful. i feel like swimming right now, but its dark and scary. oh well...i'll just go tomorrow morning. hmm...i was looking at old pictures. and pictures from my aunt's wedding. and it amazed me with how much i have changed, but how much ive stayed the same. its weird. but wonderful. because i love the old days. but yea. i love my family. and half of them are coming down for thanksgiving. although i miss the old thanksgivings with the ENTIRE family. like all 200 of us. extended family and all..with my moms first, second, and third cousins. and their sons and daughters. it was wonderful. family reunions. when all the men watched football, but fell asleep because of all the tryptophen in turkey. so before eating...all the men were like "gotta watch football, gotta watch football" and then you walk into the living room after eating from the buffet tables outside...and all of them are asleep on the couches and chairs. which were all crammed into the same room so that they could watch. but none of them watched. b/c they were all snoring. hahaha. oh well...i must leave you now. goodbye.