The Beautiful Girls
It's so nice to be home. I drove home from an afternoon of lazy climbing with Alex at the wall, feeling the warm wind and listening to Sublime catch all the right feelings. Being home for the summer is always kind of like being in a vacuum. You see the same people, do the same things, all without much input or output. Nothing ever really changes too much, and at this point? It's really nice.
Although I did hurt my finger climbing, and that is not so nice. Especially typing.
Of the women in my life:
I don't think I'll ever be able to express how much love and respect I have for Ingrid. The way she has grown to be a beautiful, strong, and wise girl is constantly on my mind whenever I see her. Waking up to see her and hear her goofy "Hewwwoo!!" this morning was so...right. One of the hardest parts of going back to Iowa is knowing that neither she, nor Samantha are with me.
And god, Sam is funny. She hasn't really changed, but I wouldn't want her to. She's so strong, gorgeous, and independent, and crazy and wonderfully level-headed, all at the same time.
I think one of the most constant, recurring theme in all of my closest friends is strength. And at this time, the Eklunds, especially Ingrid and Anna, are so strong and courageous. But Anna has always impressed me with her strength. Her lack of fear and persistance in what she believed in was always notable. And she really is beautiful.
doo doo doo .....woahhh...amber is the color of your energy.....
I really love climbing, but nothing could ever replace the feeling of hiking alone.
what could be better than that? life's not about what's better than...
As I was leaving the wall today, I was thinking about how scared I am, at the moment, of my sexuality. I'm scared of how lackadaical Grinnell has made hooking up and sex in my mind. I'm all about sex, and often encourage it. But I'm scared of my history, and my ability to block out emotions. I'm scared that I'm starting to be interested in guys as sort of a machine reaction. Not really for total interest. Does this make sense? Probably not, but I'm scared, and even thinking about my own carnal pleasure grosses me out. Maybe because I just called it, "carnal pleasure," which sounds disgusting as it is. Either way, I think I'll pass for now.
Seriously though? I'm really in love with John Butler.
Victor and I finally figured out some residual stuff, which makes things a lot better. It was good that he came and visited in Colorado, but you can't ever really overlook lasting frustrations. I'm glad I told him what had been making me hate him for the past year. But now that I know how easy it is, maybe I should communicate all of my feelings via email. That seems to work well.
I've spent so much time with my mom these past few weeks, due to my brother and dad being in Enlgand. She's a great woman, who doesn't give herself enough credit. She's incredibly intelligent, and very motivated, which makes it hard to see her be so self-deprecating.
...i was your silver lining...as the story goes....i was your silver lining...but now, I'm gold.
Never
Ending
Peace
And
Love
...........it will change your life.
Although I did hurt my finger climbing, and that is not so nice. Especially typing.
Of the women in my life:
I don't think I'll ever be able to express how much love and respect I have for Ingrid. The way she has grown to be a beautiful, strong, and wise girl is constantly on my mind whenever I see her. Waking up to see her and hear her goofy "Hewwwoo!!" this morning was so...right. One of the hardest parts of going back to Iowa is knowing that neither she, nor Samantha are with me.
And god, Sam is funny. She hasn't really changed, but I wouldn't want her to. She's so strong, gorgeous, and independent, and crazy and wonderfully level-headed, all at the same time.
I think one of the most constant, recurring theme in all of my closest friends is strength. And at this time, the Eklunds, especially Ingrid and Anna, are so strong and courageous. But Anna has always impressed me with her strength. Her lack of fear and persistance in what she believed in was always notable. And she really is beautiful.
doo doo doo .....woahhh...amber is the color of your energy.....
I really love climbing, but nothing could ever replace the feeling of hiking alone.
what could be better than that? life's not about what's better than...
As I was leaving the wall today, I was thinking about how scared I am, at the moment, of my sexuality. I'm scared of how lackadaical Grinnell has made hooking up and sex in my mind. I'm all about sex, and often encourage it. But I'm scared of my history, and my ability to block out emotions. I'm scared that I'm starting to be interested in guys as sort of a machine reaction. Not really for total interest. Does this make sense? Probably not, but I'm scared, and even thinking about my own carnal pleasure grosses me out. Maybe because I just called it, "carnal pleasure," which sounds disgusting as it is. Either way, I think I'll pass for now.
Seriously though? I'm really in love with John Butler.
Victor and I finally figured out some residual stuff, which makes things a lot better. It was good that he came and visited in Colorado, but you can't ever really overlook lasting frustrations. I'm glad I told him what had been making me hate him for the past year. But now that I know how easy it is, maybe I should communicate all of my feelings via email. That seems to work well.
I've spent so much time with my mom these past few weeks, due to my brother and dad being in Enlgand. She's a great woman, who doesn't give herself enough credit. She's incredibly intelligent, and very motivated, which makes it hard to see her be so self-deprecating.
...i was your silver lining...as the story goes....i was your silver lining...but now, I'm gold.
Never
Ending
Peace
And
Love
...........it will change your life.