christmas!
for a while now, i've felt pretty alone and confused about life. not neccessarily scared tho, just confused. And by alone i mean that i've realized that i really have to live my life alone and make decisions for myself, which i guess in itself is pretty scary. I really believe that it's completely your own responsibilty to keep your head above water. it's your responsibility to survive or get the help you need to survive. friends just embellish life. i mean, its awesome when they do and i think that you definitely need friends to make your life happy and joyful, but surviving is your own responsibility. I've also realized that surviving is definitely not living. and i keep telling this to myself/multiple other people. Life thrives with friends in it, but they should not be a reason to be surviving.
keeping this in mind, im at an all time high right now. Today, my mom, my wonderful mommy, sent me cake pans, some clothes, a cake container!!!, angel food cake make, and some other food. it was so exciting to open it. On top of that, Jenna sent me a present. but that is the biggest understatement of the year. a box just filled with Jenna. the essence of jenna. a letter written on beautiful pictures from magazinea, beads, drawings, smells, soap, everything in the world. the things that matter. the things ive missed in my life every day since junior year of high school.
perfect. but now my mood will probably diminish because i have a debate today in psychology. but at least, no matter what grades i get on anything or how much i suck up/dont at all, or how much people like me...i'll have this box from jenna. and i'll have the cake pans from my mom. what could ever matter more than that?
keeping this in mind, im at an all time high right now. Today, my mom, my wonderful mommy, sent me cake pans, some clothes, a cake container!!!, angel food cake make, and some other food. it was so exciting to open it. On top of that, Jenna sent me a present. but that is the biggest understatement of the year. a box just filled with Jenna. the essence of jenna. a letter written on beautiful pictures from magazinea, beads, drawings, smells, soap, everything in the world. the things that matter. the things ive missed in my life every day since junior year of high school.
perfect. but now my mood will probably diminish because i have a debate today in psychology. but at least, no matter what grades i get on anything or how much i suck up/dont at all, or how much people like me...i'll have this box from jenna. and i'll have the cake pans from my mom. what could ever matter more than that?