I hate Comcast so god-damn much.
I just got this in the mail:
So I decide to chat with them about it...
Matthew > Service
Venice > Hello Matthew_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Venice. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Venice > I'm ready to assist you today. How are you doing by the way?
Matthew_ > Sure.
Matthew_ > I'm fine, thanks for asking.
Venice > Hi Matthew, We, here at comcast, are glad to know that you are doing fine.
Matthew_ > I just received a notice in the mail: NOTICE REGARDING YOUR CABLE MODEM.
Venice > Can you elaborate more on what you need assistance with?
Matthew_ > The body of the text says that I must upgrade my modem, but doesn't provide a detailed explanation.
Matthew_ > Could you tell me why after the deadline (December 7th) my modem will be disconnected?
Venice > Thanks for clearing that up.
Venice > Actually upon pulling up your account, I can see here that your connection, or your mode, for that matter is working just fine.
Matthew_ > Yeah, it is. But this notice that was mailed to me is saying that I must upgrade my modem. If I don't by December 7th, it says that I will be disconnected.
Matthew_ > I want to know why.
Venice > I apologize for the inconvenience that this has caused you.
Venice > The best course of action would be for you to contact our security assurance department so we can provide you with the many options that you can do with your account. You can contact the security assurance department at: 1-856-324-2025
Matthew_ > Why do I need to contact security?
Venice > Thanks for bringing that up. They would be the specific department that will address issues that involve notice for disconnection in relation to modem issues.
Venice > Thanks
Matthew_ > The letter said specifically to contact the live chat service if I had any questions, now you are telling me I need to call a different department?
Matthew_ > Hello?
Venice > Yes, I'm here
Venice > I see here that you are using your own modem
Matthew_ > Okay, so the notice said that I should contact the live chat service, and now you are redirecting me. Who wrote this memo? Were they mistaken?
Matthew_ > If you are not aware of a modem upgrade deadline, then why should I expect another department to help me - one that wasn't even listed on the notice in the first place. That doesn't make any sense.
Matthew_ > Yes, I am using my own modem. It is compatible and has worked just fine for the last 3 years.
Venice > To be honest with you, there is no such note right here on our file so the reason why I am redirecting you to our security assurance department is because they will provide you with a detailed explanation as to why you were given the letter.
Matthew_ > Seriously?
Matthew_ > You are a telecom company, right?
Matthew_ > Isn't the exchange of information the foundation of your company's business model?
Venice > Much as I would like to pull up your account that pertains to your concern, I would not be able to as that is no longer within the scope of my support. Now the security assurance department can definitely address this concern more effeciently as they will be able to advise you with regards to the best course of action to take.
Matthew_ > I must be participating in some kind of Turing test ...
Matthew_ > I'm going to blog this. Just so you know.
The menu options are for "payments" or "connection problems", so I just decided to go with connection problems, I've been on hold for 30 minutes now.
Update: I never was taken off of hold, I finally had to just give up. Fuck these clowns. Fuck them right in their throats.
So I decide to chat with them about it...
Matthew > Service
Venice > Hello Matthew_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Venice. Please give me one moment to review your information.
Venice > I'm ready to assist you today. How are you doing by the way?
Matthew_ > Sure.
Matthew_ > I'm fine, thanks for asking.
Venice > Hi Matthew, We, here at comcast, are glad to know that you are doing fine.
Matthew_ > I just received a notice in the mail: NOTICE REGARDING YOUR CABLE MODEM.
Venice > Can you elaborate more on what you need assistance with?
Matthew_ > The body of the text says that I must upgrade my modem, but doesn't provide a detailed explanation.
Matthew_ > Could you tell me why after the deadline (December 7th) my modem will be disconnected?
Venice > Thanks for clearing that up.
Venice > Actually upon pulling up your account, I can see here that your connection, or your mode, for that matter is working just fine.
Matthew_ > Yeah, it is. But this notice that was mailed to me is saying that I must upgrade my modem. If I don't by December 7th, it says that I will be disconnected.
Matthew_ > I want to know why.
Venice > I apologize for the inconvenience that this has caused you.
Venice > The best course of action would be for you to contact our security assurance department so we can provide you with the many options that you can do with your account. You can contact the security assurance department at: 1-856-324-2025
Matthew_ > Why do I need to contact security?
Venice > Thanks for bringing that up. They would be the specific department that will address issues that involve notice for disconnection in relation to modem issues.
Venice > Thanks
Matthew_ > The letter said specifically to contact the live chat service if I had any questions, now you are telling me I need to call a different department?
Matthew_ > Hello?
Venice > Yes, I'm here
Venice > I see here that you are using your own modem
Matthew_ > Okay, so the notice said that I should contact the live chat service, and now you are redirecting me. Who wrote this memo? Were they mistaken?
Matthew_ > If you are not aware of a modem upgrade deadline, then why should I expect another department to help me - one that wasn't even listed on the notice in the first place. That doesn't make any sense.
Matthew_ > Yes, I am using my own modem. It is compatible and has worked just fine for the last 3 years.
Venice > To be honest with you, there is no such note right here on our file so the reason why I am redirecting you to our security assurance department is because they will provide you with a detailed explanation as to why you were given the letter.
Matthew_ > Seriously?
Matthew_ > You are a telecom company, right?
Matthew_ > Isn't the exchange of information the foundation of your company's business model?
Venice > Much as I would like to pull up your account that pertains to your concern, I would not be able to as that is no longer within the scope of my support. Now the security assurance department can definitely address this concern more effeciently as they will be able to advise you with regards to the best course of action to take.
Matthew_ > I must be participating in some kind of Turing test ...
Matthew_ > I'm going to blog this. Just so you know.
The menu options are for "payments" or "connection problems", so I just decided to go with connection problems, I've been on hold for 30 minutes now.
Update: I never was taken off of hold, I finally had to just give up. Fuck these clowns. Fuck them right in their throats.