(no subject)
i need more people in my life who call me at odd hours just to tell me to look at the stars...
anyway. quick update. am moving out of here. am moving in with montario. have not told nico's mom yet. dont know what to say, really. "its not that i cant live with you, its that i cant live with your daughter... who doesnt live here. but holds the fact that i live here over my head constantly." i respect the issue here, i really do. i think everyone's gone a lil nut-bar over the whole thing, but i respect nico's mom and i understand nico's concern (regardless of the way in which that concern was transmitted to me). though, to be honest, the moving out bit is less about the issue than the lecture i received. if i wanted to be talked to like i was an idiot - rephrase: talked AT like i was an idiot - i would still talk to my mother. but as i have pretty much cut her out, why on earth would i let anyone else talk to me like that? especially nico. we are no longer together and we are hardly friends. at least half of our interaction centers around the loaning of money. where in there does she earn the right to lecture me about being a responsible adult? hell, to lecture me about anything?
regardless of what i do or dont do, i'm moving out. i refuse to be threatened any longer. i refuse to associate with people who treat me that way any longer. i'm sad because i've enjoyed living with her mother and i think i'm more of a help than a hindrance. and, to be honest, i hate moving.
but never again will i allow anyone to treat me the way my mother has. and all i heard for two days was my mother's words coming from a different mouth. why argue? why explain? i know where that will get me. nowhere. the same place it always got me with my mother...
and thanking me? that. that was... stupid. but it sealed the deal in a way. never before have i been so convinced of a drastic mistake i only narrowly avoided. never before have i been so convinced of previous mistakes made.
i can forgive a lot of things. but this one may never go away.
anyway. quick update. am moving out of here. am moving in with montario. have not told nico's mom yet. dont know what to say, really. "its not that i cant live with you, its that i cant live with your daughter... who doesnt live here. but holds the fact that i live here over my head constantly." i respect the issue here, i really do. i think everyone's gone a lil nut-bar over the whole thing, but i respect nico's mom and i understand nico's concern (regardless of the way in which that concern was transmitted to me). though, to be honest, the moving out bit is less about the issue than the lecture i received. if i wanted to be talked to like i was an idiot - rephrase: talked AT like i was an idiot - i would still talk to my mother. but as i have pretty much cut her out, why on earth would i let anyone else talk to me like that? especially nico. we are no longer together and we are hardly friends. at least half of our interaction centers around the loaning of money. where in there does she earn the right to lecture me about being a responsible adult? hell, to lecture me about anything?
regardless of what i do or dont do, i'm moving out. i refuse to be threatened any longer. i refuse to associate with people who treat me that way any longer. i'm sad because i've enjoyed living with her mother and i think i'm more of a help than a hindrance. and, to be honest, i hate moving.
but never again will i allow anyone to treat me the way my mother has. and all i heard for two days was my mother's words coming from a different mouth. why argue? why explain? i know where that will get me. nowhere. the same place it always got me with my mother...
and thanking me? that. that was... stupid. but it sealed the deal in a way. never before have i been so convinced of a drastic mistake i only narrowly avoided. never before have i been so convinced of previous mistakes made.
i can forgive a lot of things. but this one may never go away.