(no subject)
I never update this god damn thing and my picture is literally from 2002, but oh well.
Anyway, I'm here at my dad's apartment for the first time in Sacramento. It's actually really nice to be here, but kind of unreal. I know he still loves and misses my mom so much and it breaks my heart. He talks about her all the time and I know he wishes they could be together, as do I. I know that he's not really happy that he moved up here and I know he does not like living alone. Sometimes it's just really hard for me to realize that my family is so broken up- my mom in Thousand Oaks, me in SLO, and my dad all the way up here... 300 miles away from where we all started.
So much has changed since I graduated. Sometimes it's really hard for me to go back to Thousand Oaks because it's just not the same anymore. It hurts me to stay in my own god damn house because nothing about it is the same. My family and I had so many happy times in that house and it will never be like that again. We'll never take another family vacation to Mammoth, no more day trips to Santa Barbara... it's really sad. I had a really happy childhood and my parents were happy and so in love for a really long time, so I know I'm lucky in that aspect. I guess it's just hard for me to let go of that. Things are different now and I have to look to the future.
I think I miss live journal.
Anyway, I'm here at my dad's apartment for the first time in Sacramento. It's actually really nice to be here, but kind of unreal. I know he still loves and misses my mom so much and it breaks my heart. He talks about her all the time and I know he wishes they could be together, as do I. I know that he's not really happy that he moved up here and I know he does not like living alone. Sometimes it's just really hard for me to realize that my family is so broken up- my mom in Thousand Oaks, me in SLO, and my dad all the way up here... 300 miles away from where we all started.
So much has changed since I graduated. Sometimes it's really hard for me to go back to Thousand Oaks because it's just not the same anymore. It hurts me to stay in my own god damn house because nothing about it is the same. My family and I had so many happy times in that house and it will never be like that again. We'll never take another family vacation to Mammoth, no more day trips to Santa Barbara... it's really sad. I had a really happy childhood and my parents were happy and so in love for a really long time, so I know I'm lucky in that aspect. I guess it's just hard for me to let go of that. Things are different now and I have to look to the future.
I think I miss live journal.