Life Is Fragile, Handle With Care- Chapter 5
Master Post
After making himself look reasonably presentable, Jensen follows Chris out the front door and toward his friend's truck. As much as Jensen argues, Chris refuses to let him drive himself. Apparently Chris doesn't trust him not to wrap his Ford around a tree in his current state of mind.
Before he has the chance to open the door his eyes catch a tall figure shuffling down the sidewalk. Somehow he knows exactly who it is even before he can see the kid's face.
As soon as his mind catches up, Jensen runs across the yard and meets Jared at the front of his house. He can clearly see Jared's blushed cheeks, the sweat glistening on his forehead and can hear the labored breathing that would indicated his boyfriend practically ran all the way here.
"What do you think you're doing, Jay?" he rubs his hands up Jared's arms, surprised at the slight tremble of Jared's body.
"I wanted to see you," Jared whispers.
"And I wanted to see you too, but there's this invention called a car.” he nods his head toward Chris who is trying not to stare at the two of them. “I was on my way to your house but I wasn’t going to run all the way there.”
“I didn’t run.”
“Then you are extremely out of shape,” Jensen snorts playfully.
When Jared lifts his head and finally meets Jensen’s eyes, Jensen suddenly feels stupid and extremely guilty. Jared has a heart problem. A long walk in the Texas heat can’t possibly be something that’s easy for him.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen apologizes but Jared shakes his head with a small smile.”What are you smiling at?”
“You’re cute when you look guilty.”
Jensen glares at him for a second but it quickly turns into a smile as he fists the front of Jared’s shirt and pulls the taller boy forward until their lips meet. Jared stumbles slightly with the movement but Jensen quickly wraps his other arm around Jared’s waist and keeps him steady as their kiss deepens.
After a few moments, Jensen pulls away just enough to see Jared’s face while keeping his arm around his boyfriend’s waist so that their bodies are still touching.
“I missed you.” Jared lowers his head but Jensen cups Jared’s chin and tilts it back up so he can see Jared’s eyes.
He leans in once more, kissing the corner of Jared mouth before pulling back with a smile. “I missed you so much. You’re not allowed to run away ever again.”
“Deal.” Jared laughs slightly, only it turns into a full fit of laughter when Chris clears his throat from the driveway. He smiles and gives a small wave in Chris’ direction before pulling out of Jensen’s arms. “Hi, Chris. Didn’t see you standing there.”
“Yeah, right.” Chris rolls his eyes in annoyance but Jensen can see the smile his friend is trying to hide. “I’m just going to leave you two girls alone. Call me later, Jenny.”
Jensen lifts his middle finger but Chris just laughs as he hops into his truck and backs out of the driveway, leaving Jared and Jensen alone in the front yard. He shakes his head and slowly turns back around to catch Jared’s devious smile.
“What?”
“Nothing, Jenny.”
“Oh, shut it.” Jensen rolls his eyes this time and heads back toward the house as Jared follows close behind.
“Can I call you that?”
“Not if you know what’s good for you.”
“But it’s cute,” Jared laughs as he sluggishly follows Jensen up the stairs toward the top floor of the house. "Like you."
"You're such a sweet talker."
Jensen pushes the door to his bedroom open and tries to ignore all the clothes thrown about the floor. He sits down on the side of his bed and motions for Jared to have a seat as well, not missing the sudden shift in Jared's mood.
When Jared finally sits beside him, Jensen carefully places a hand on Jared thigh and squeezes gently. He almost pulls back when Jared flinches but decides against it, thankful when Jared finally relaxes and shifts closer to him.
"Looks like a tornado came through here," Jared whispers.
"I haven't really felt like cleaning." Jensen's fingers loosen and he slides his hand up a little further on Jared's leg. "I've kind of been a mess myself lately. It's only fitting my room be one too."
"I'm sorry." Jared tries to slide away from Jensen but his fingers tighten in warning, stopping Jared's movement.
"I just wish you'd have told me sooner, Jared."
"I didn't want to scare you away." Jared keeps his head lowered, fingers tightly folded in his lap. "The only person I ever told was Chad and that's only because we've been friends for so long. He's been with me since the beginning."
"Will you explain it to me now?" Jensen removes his hand and pushes himself up the bed until his back hits the headboard, his legs stretched out in front of him.
He gently grabs Jared’s wrists and tugs until Jared scoots back to sit beside him. Jensen slings an arm around Jared’s shoulders, smiling as Jared slides down so that his head rests comfortable on Jensen’s chest and his arm lies across Jensen’s waist.
They sit in silence for a few minutes until Jared finally relaxes into Jensen's side and begins to speak- just barely above a whisper.
"I was born with a ventricular septal defect.” he takes a deep breath and glances up at an obviously confused Jensen. “It means I have a hole in my heart, but it went undetected until a few years ago."
Jensen can feel Jared trembling beside him and he tightens his arm, pulling Jared closer to his body and rubbing gently at Jared's arm.
"When I was thirteen, Chad and I were at my house playing basketball and I started having trouble breathing so Chad flipped out and ran to get my dad. He took me the hospital and it wasn’t until then that the doctors found the hole." Jared rubs at his eyes but keeps speaking. "Apparently most VSDs close on their own but I wasn't so lucky. Closing the hole would have been too dangerous then because the pressure in my lungs was too high."
"Can't they reduce the pressure?" Jensen looks down and when he meets Jared's tired eyes his heart sinks.
"I took medicine to regulate my heart and lower my blood pressure." Jared's arm tightens around Jensen’s waist and he turns his head into Jensen's shoulder, breath ghosting over Jensen's neck. "But a few months ago my doctor found that the medication wasn't working, that the pressure seemed to be increasing instead so he took me off of it."
"He can't do that."
"Yes he can, Jensen." Jared smiles and looks back up at Jensen, both their eyes shining with unshed tears. "The medicine wasn't helping anymore."
"But you were fine without the medicine before." Jensen brings his free hand up and rubs at his face.
"It's gotten worse since then." Jared's smile falls as he lifts his hand to Jensen's face, covering Jensen's hand with his own and pulls it away. "The increased pressure in my lungs caused me to develop what's called pulmonary hypertension, which just means I have high blood pressure in the arteries that supply blood to my lungs. When my medication was working it was under control but now my heart is working overtime and eventually it won't be able to keep up anymore."
"There's got to be a way to fix it." Jensen moves his hand up Jared's back and softly runs his fingers through Jared's long hair. "I don't want to lose you."
Jared sighs, melting into Jensen's touch as he whispers, "I love you."
"I love you too."
They fall into a calming silence, having said everything they needed to, and eventually Jensen feels Jared's body completely relax. He tilts his head down to get a better look at Jared's face and can see that Jared's fallen asleep.
He places a soft kiss to the top of Jared's head and carefully shifts on the bed until he's lying with his head on the pillows-Jared's head still pillowed on his chest. He feels completely drained and scared but at the moment he has Jared in his arms and he's exactly where he should to be. There's no way he's letting Jared go without a fight.
A few days later, Pastor Padalecki is standing at his bedroom window watching Jensen busily working outside in the garden. The scorching Texas heat has forced Jensen to remove his t-shirt, leaving it hanging from the back pocket of his jeans.
What that boy needs is to have a good gallon of sun lotion rubbed over his skin; Gerry can already see prickly sunburn spreading across Jensen's freckled shoulders. He fiddles with the lock and cracks the window open wide enough to shout out that same instruction, with an added warning that Jared will be the first one he tells if Jensen doesn't obey.
Jensen shoots the Pastor a wide grin in return, shrugging his shoulders he disappears from view. Probably heading back inside the house to fetch some sun lotion-if he has any sense inside his head.
The Pastor's view of the garden seems to shimmer in a heat haze and he feels uncomfortably hot and bothered. The collar of his shirt sticking to his clammy neck, even though he took the time to have a long shower as soon as he got out of bed this morning.
Blinding sunlight floods the neatly trimmed lawn and all of the flowerbeds are alive with color. Blossoms wide open, turned towards the sun, soaking up the rays.
Jensen has been out there since first light, working on the telescope he's building for Jared. For well over a week now, Jared's been talking nonstop about a comet which will be visible in a month or so and Jensen maintains that he's found perfect step-by-step instructions for making a purpose built telescope on the internet. A telescope that will give Jared a clear view of the comet a hundred times better than his old telescope ever could. If Jared's old telescope is a Ford than Jensen's apparently set on making him a Porsche.
Gerry still reckons it's a nutty idea but he gets why Jensen is doing it. Since Jared's health took a turn for the worse, Jensen clearly feels the need to do something and if sweating his ass off all day, getting splinters in his palms, helps to stop him from drowning in the helplessness that Gerry himself is struggling with, well, then Gerry is fine with having his backyard turned into a building site.
Gerry makes a mental note to take a glass of lemonade outside for Jensen later. Heck, maybe even a bottle of beer. With the sun roasting his pale skin all day, Jensen certainly deserves the right to neck an ice-cold one.
Hearing the creak of old floorboards behind him, Gerry automatically knows who is standing there without needing to turn around. "He never rests, that boy of yours, does he?"
Like most parents, Gerry always thought he'd struggle to accept someone as being good enough for one of his children but he thinks he might have changed that opinion now that he's seen for himself how truly devoted Jensen is. Jensen's given up his last summer of fun before college to spend all of his time sawing wood and hammering nails in the Padalecki family garden. "You shouldn't be out of bed, Jared."
"Dad," Jared's voice is a candy-glass whisper, as fragile as the young man whose words they are. "I'm in love with him."
"I know," Gerry folds his hands together and moves away from the window, sitting down on the edge of his bed. He pats the mattress, indicating for Jared to come and sit by him. "And I'm glad you've found someone who cares for you as much as you deserve."
Jared smiles, the corners of his eyes creasing. Happiness chases away the sickly look from his face if only for a brief moment.
He gives his father a squeezing hug and goes to the window, watching his boyfriend who is back out there again, hard at work. Jared's hand is at his mouth, fingertips tracing over his lips as though reliving the last kiss he and Jensen shared. Jared catches his father staring and his soft smile widens, growing self-conscious.
Then Jared’s smile drops and Gerry feels the shift, the change in mood, like static electricity crackling through the air.
Gerry notices as Jared starts to sway in place. When Jared’s hand shoots out, seeking support, Gerry jumps to his feet and rushes to Jared’s side. He knows what this is, he can recognize the signs.
The color has already fled from Jared's cheeks leaving him ashen. His eyelids rapidly flicker open and closed, butterfly wings mid-flight, before he slumps against the large oak dresser that used to belong to his mother.
With only thin slivers of white visible through his half-open eyes, Jared collapses unconscious the rest of the way to the floor. Gerry scrambles forward with a yell, kneeing at Jared’s head and carefully lifting his son’s upper half into his arms.
Hugging Jared's limp body close to his chest, Gerry screams his throat raw for help, rocking back and forth with his hands stroking feverishly through his son's hair. He holds Jared's head cradled in his hands, as gently as he did when Jared was just a tiny baby and babbles prayers from bloodless lips. "Not now. Please God, don't take my son from me now. Jared! Jared!"
Gerry knows this hospital waiting room like the back of his hand, unsightly liver spots and all.
He knows which chairs have the best view of the small wall-mounted television with the crappy reception and which vending machines to avoid because the money always gets jammed inside. He also knows Jared's doctor, Dr. Chapman, well enough that they've formed a friendship of sorts over the years and although Gerry can't afford the best medical plan in the world, Dr. Chapman always gives Jared special care and attention.
Having already cried herself dry, Megan is curled into her dad's side, bony legs tucked underneath her as she dozes fitfully. Gerry knows they have a long wait hanging over their heads. He settles his arm across his daughter's shoulders and tries not to look at the dried black mascara streaked across Megan's cheeks.
He's just contemplating how best to slide out of his chair to get himself a drink without waking Megan when he sees Jensen rush though the swing doors, slamming them hard enough into the wall that they've probably left a decent-sized dent in the plaster. Jensen quickly navigates his way through the waiting room crowd, heading directly towards them. "Is he okay? Have you heard anything yet?"
Jensen followed the ambulance in his car. He wouldn't take Gerry or Megan's place at Jared's side in the back of the ambulance even though it was clear he badly wanted to ride with them. Gerry spent most of the journey with half of his attention focused on his son's deteriorating condition and the rest fretting about Jensen driving too fast and crashing into a lamppost.
Megan snuffles sleepily but doesn't wake up and Gerry puts a finger to his lips, whispering, "Not yet. I doubt we'll hear anything for at least an hour or two."
Jensen exhales, clearly agitated and it's then that Gerry sees just how young Jensen really is and how much all of this is weighing so heavily on his shoulders. Even though Gerry doesn't feel it on the inside, he schools his features into a semblance of calm composure and holds out a handful of the loose change he's dug from deep inside his pants pockets. "Go fetch us some coffee son, but use the cafeteria. I don't want any of that vending machine instant crap."
Jensen's eyes are distant, mind elsewhere but when Gerry taps his shoulder, he takes the money and slowly wanders towards the line of elevators at the back of the waiting room.
It takes the doctors three hours to stabilize Jared's heart rate and a another two hours before he's allowed visitors.
When Jensen pushes the door to Jared's room open, he finds himself taking a step back instead of a step forward. Then pure gut-instinct kicks in and pushing down his fear, he goes inside.
"Hey," Jensen says thickly, still hovering close to the door. He knows Jared's asleep, exhaustion keeping him under but Jensen's words tumble out unchecked all the same. "Don't do that to me again, okay? I was so freakin' afraid for you, man...."
Jensen's sentence stutters to a stop. He pauses to listen to the various beeping noises made by the monitors in the room and the whooshing of air traveling through the oxygen mask covering Jared's nose and mouth. There's a clip attached to Jared's finger and various leads running from electrodes stuck to his uncovered chest. Someone as high on life as Jared has never seemed so vulnerable before and it makes Jensen want to cry.
"Your dad and sis’ are outside, they're waiting to come in and see you so I can't hog you all to myself for long. Jared, just...just wake up soon. Please. I'm trying to be strong here but I don't think I can cope if anything bad happens to you." Jensen finds the chair without looking for it. He drops down heavily into the seat and grips at the armrests. He gnaws at this thumbnail before reaching out and taking hold of Jared's cool hand. Jensen leans forward, fighting back tears. "I'm waiting for you. I'm right here."
When Gerry somehow manages to wangle permission from Jared’s doctor, Jensen sits by Jared's bedside throughout the night and into the early hours of the next morning. Nurses come and go, checking monitors and administering medication that Jensen doesn't recognize or even understand the names-but he asks as many questions as he can without testing the nurses’ patience. It's after 2am when Gerry puts his hands under Jensen's armpits and levers him out of the chair.
"I've spoken to your mom and she agrees with me that you need to go home and get some rest," Gerry quickly raises a hand when Jensen starts to protest. "Just for a few hours. I can take watch for awhile. I've told Jared that he's not going anywhere, even if he is unconscious right now that's no excuse for him to defy his Pa."
"Yes, Sir." Jensen reluctantly lets himself be manhandled out of the chair. His back throbs and he can't tell a lie, it feels good to stretch out his legs. "Do you want me to pick Megan up in the morning, bring her back over to the hospital with me?"
"It's alright, Megan is staying at my sister's place tonight. Cathy will drive her over after breakfast." Gerry says as he takes his place in Jensen's seat, covering his legs with his jacket like a blanket. "And Jensen?"
"Sir?"
"Please call me Gerry, sir makes me feel like an old man. I've got enough gray hairs and crow's feet destroying my ego already."
"Okay, Gerry." Jensen tests the name with a short-lived smile before he spares Jared one last lingering look and forces his feet to carry him through the door.
Jared doesn't open his eyes until dawn breaks. Gerry lets out a shaky breath as he watches his son groggily coming awake, disorientation forming as Jared rolls his head on the pillow and takes in his unfamiliar surroundings.
Gerry moves forward so that he's in Jared's sight-line and says, "Everything's okay, son. You collapsed. You're in the hospital."
"Jens-"
"I sent him home. Poor kid was fit to drop himself. He's been sitting in your room for hours." Gerry rests his hand on Jared's knee and squeezes gently as he fights to keep himself from crying.
"Dad," Jared swallows dryly, curling long fingers around his father's larger hand. "You look so serious."
"I want you to know something important, Jared. You and Jensen, you have my blessing. And if I've kept you too close, it's only because I wanted to keep you longer."
"I love you. I love you, so much." Jared whispers, eyes closing again.
And for the first time since his wife's death, Jared's father gives in to his grief and breaks down in tears.
It hadn't been his willing decision to leave but he didn't have much of a choice after his mother and Jared's dad doubled teamed him and practically forced him to head home for the night. They had been expecting him to get some sleep and wash up but how on earth could he possibly sleep with his stomach in knots the whole time?
So after appeasing them by getting a little sleep-two and a half hours probably wasn’t what they had in mind-Jensen eagerly hops into his car and heads back toward the hospital.
His body aches and his head is pounding against his skull but he doesn't have time to think about it, nor does he really want to. Jared's been all he can think about since he heard Gerry’s terrified call for help only a little over twenty-four hours ago.
Really, Jared's been all he can think about since he was forced to participate in the damn school play. Sometimes he thinks this is all some sick joke to punish him for his teenage rebellion.
It doesn't seem fair that he finally finds someone he really cares about, someone he trusts and loves only to have them ripped away.
He can't think like that though. He has to have faith even if he's not sure he knows how.
He's not going to give up but he's definitely not like Jared. He doesn't have the same unyielding faith his boyfriend does but he's trying because he's not ready to lose Jared. Not now. Not ever.
Jensen finds a parking spot as close to the entrance as possible and in a flash he's jogging through the hospital corridors, ignoring the disapproving looks from various doctors and nurses.
By the time he reaches Jared's hallway he's sweaty and out of breath. When he approaches Jared's room and finds it completely empty, his body shakes with much more than adrenaline.
He stands at the door as he watches the nurse make what is now an empty bed and his heart starts to feel just as empty.
Why hadn't anyone called him? He should have been here. This can't be happening.
Jensen chokes on the tears he's trying desperately to hold back and the nurse in the room must have heard him because she quickly darts around in panic. Her eyes soften as soon as she sees him and she quickly closes the distance between them, placing a gentle hand on Jensen's shoulder.
"Oh sweetie," she whispers as she carefully pushes Jensen back into the hallway. "He's just down the hall with his father. He's going home."
"What?"
"He's going home today," she explains with a smile, her hand still on Jensen's arm.
Jensen can't decide if he wants to cry even harder or hug the older woman in front of him but his body seems to answer for him as he's suddenly darting off down the hall. He's not even sure where he's going but his feet just move until he sees the mop of shaggy brown hair over the counter at the nurses' station.
His legs move faster than he ever knew they could and he falls to his knees beside Jared's wheelchair, his arms carefully wrapping around Jared's shoulders. Jared is obviously startled for a second but then he relaxes; his hands coming up to gently rub Jensen's back.
"I missed you too," Jared laughs, gently trying to pry Jensen away. "What's wrong, Jen?"
"You weren't in your room." Jensen reluctantly lets go and moves back only slightly, his hands falling to Jared's knees as he stays crouched in front of Jared.
"Did you think...”
Jensen nods and Jared's hands grasp his, squeezing tightly.
"I'm so sorry, Jensen," Jared whispers.
"It's not your fault."
"I should have called you or something."
"I'm just glad you're okay, Jay." he pushes himself up and kisses Jared on the forehead, their hands still locked together. "Scared the hell out of me."
Jared smiles up at him as Jensen pulls away and stands up straight, finally letting go of Jared's hands. There's a moment of silence between them but Jensen appreciates the time to allow his heart to stop racing.
"I get to go home." Jared's smile brightens as he nods toward his father who is standing at the counter signing papers.
"So I heard," Jensen laughs at the child-like look of glee on Jared's face. "That's great, Jay. Did the doctors find medication that would work or what?"
"Not yet." Jared's smile falls and Jensen's heart breaks with it. "But a different doctor stepped in to help and convinced Dr. Chapman that home care was the best choice. I really thought you would have known already."
"Why?"
"Because it was your dad."
Jensen's body moves on autopilot after hours of ulcer-causing worry. He's not sure how he made it here safely, doesn't even remember getting in the car but somehow he ends up parked outside his father's home.
He takes a deep breath and runs a sweaty hand over his face before climbing out of the car and shuffling up to the front door.
He has no idea what time it is but his soft knock is immediately answered with the worried face of Alan Ackles. It's in that moment that Jensen's head spins with the sudden realization of everything that's happened in the past couple of days-in the last twenty-four hours especially.
Jensen's eyes burn and he bites his lip hard until his father opens his arms and Jensen's dam breaks. Tears pour from his eyes as he collapses against his father and Alan easily takes on his weight with arms wrapped tightly around Jensen's shaking form.
"Is it Jared?" Alan asks, holding Jensen tighter. "Is he okay?"
"He's okay," Jensen hiccups. "I just..."
"What is it, son?"
"Thank you." Jensen pulls back slightly with a tired smile. "I didn't think you'd help."
"You've never given me a chance before." Alan drops his arms and takes a step back but Jensen keeps his head lowered.
"Are you going to make him better?" Jensen's well aware how childish he sounds but at the moment he doesn't care. For the first time in years he feels like that little boy who believes his dad can fix anything.
"I don't know, Jensen."
Then the familiar ache of being let down takes over and he clenches his fists at his side. "But Jared said you helped him. I thought you were going to fix it. He's going to die, Dad."
"It's complicated," Alan whispers as he turns around and heads back inside.
Jensen is right behind him, quickly lengthening his steps so that he can put himself in front of his father. He glares at the man before him, face red with anger.
"That's what you said when you walked out on mom," he growls. "That's what you said when you gave up on your family but I'm not like you. I'm not giving up on Jared. I love him, Dad."
"You don't understand-"
"I don't think you understand." Jensen squeezes his hands together, nails leaving indents on his palms. "I've never bothered you for anything because I knew you'd let me down but this is so much more important than a stupid baseball game or new car. You may have been a crappy father in the past but I know you're a damn good doctor. I'm asking you to do your job, Dad. Save his life, please."
By the time he's finished he can feel the tears slipping down his warm cheeks and he fights to swallow down the lump in his throat. Jensen's surprised when he sees that his father is fighting back his own emotions as well. At first he assumes it's guilt or anger but when he sees the tears pooling in his father's eyes, he starts to think he may be wrong.
"You're right." Alan rubs nervously at the back of his neck. "I haven't been a great father but, Jensen, I do love you. That’s never changed. I keep messing up every time I try to fix things but I'll never stop trying."
Jensen thinks about arguing but then he's never seen his father so upset-even after his parents split up. So instead he nods and looks up at his father with pleading eyes.
"Then don't give up on, Jared. Please?"
"I haven't, son." Alan shakes his head. "But there is no easy fix to this."
"You'll keep looking though, right?"
"Of course." he smiles and Jensen can see the hesitation and fear as he opens his arms but Jensen can't refuse him now. Jensen slowly moves forward and wraps his arms around his father, burying his head into Alan’s shoulder. He hasn't done this since he was five but it feels nice. He feels safe. "And until then Jared will be able to stay at home with highly qualified nurses monitoring his condition."
"Thank you." Jensen's words are muffled by the fabric of his father's shirt. "I'm sorry for blowing up at you again."
"You have nothing to apologize for." Alan pulls back and smiles slightly. "I screwed up a lot and for that I'm sorry but thank you for coming to me. Thank you for giving me another chance. I'll do everything I can."
Jensen doesn't say anything but nods as he falls back into one of the chairs in his father's office. He doesn't realize just how tired he is until he sinks into cushion and his eyes start drifting closed, his head becoming extremely heavy.
Next thing he knows he's being pulled up from the chair and guided up the stairs, into a room he swore he'd never step foot in. As his body is lowered onto the soft pillow topped mattress, all his bitter promises are forgotten.
He sinks into the comfort and lets his eyes close as he gives in to the sleep that's he's been fighting with for days.
With Jared back home, Jensen starts work on the telescope again. Racing to try and ensure it's completed before the comet makes its grand appearance. The hardest part is aligning the focuser and Jensen almost jacks the whole thing in when it takes him several attempts to install the mirror-cell assy.
"I'm sorry about the flyers at school."
Jensen stands up from sanding the main box when he recognizes the sound of Danneel's voice.
"I know I was an uber-bitch at school but I've grown up a lot in the last few months...since I'm at college now and all." Danneel laughs awkwardly, eyes avoiding Jensen's face as she tries to poke fun at herself.
It's tense but Jensen's mood softens when he recognizes genuine remorse in Danneel's demeanor. "It's okay," Jensen shakes his head, brushing sawdust from his palms onto the front of his jeans. "My gayness is old news anyway."
He hasn't seen Danneel since they were sitting several rows apart at graduation and the impressive fight he had with Mike in the school lunchroom was the last time they exchanged words. Danneel looks different, dressed in casual clothes-simple slacks and a t-shirt with her hair tied up in a loose ponytail-she's not the fresh from a fashion-shoot model of perfection that she worked so hard to be at school but she's noticeably more attractive now.
"You're with the person you're meant to be with, I get that now. How's Jared doing? I heard he's ill."
"Some days are better than others..."
"But you have hope." Danneel inches forward and places a brief kiss on Jensen's cheek, "I can see it in your eyes. I'll pray for both of you."
"You don't pray," Jensen baulks, the closest Danneel has ever gotten to showing any allusion of religious faith before is the naughty nun outfit she wore to her Halloween party last year.
"There's a first time for everything,” Danneel says, smiling mischievously she reaches up to tug at a short strand of Jensen’s spiky hair. “Even for us sinners."
"Go check it out," Jensen opens the screen door, letting Jared shuffle past him into the chilly night air.
Jared walks slowly towards the finished telescope, running a hand over the main frame in awe. He bends down to peer through the eyepiece and Jensen doesn't mistake the contented sigh he hears leave Jared's lips. "There it is! Come here Jen, come look. Quickly!"
Jensen takes his turn and the comet is right there, so close Jensen feels like he could reach out and pluck it from the heavens. The comet is incredible, a streak of dazzling white moving across a coal-black night sky. "Wow! That is cool." Jensen steps away so that Jared can take another look. He watches Jared and knows in that moment that there will never be anyone else who will make him feel the way Jared does, he's darn certain of it. "You do love me, right?"
"Of course."
"Would you do anything for me?" Jensen asks, trying his hardest to sound cool, casual.
Jared lifts his face from the telescope so that he can look Jensen in the eye. "Anything," he replies, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
"Then say you’ll marry me."
It's almost three weeks later when Jensen walks into Jared's bedroom to find his boyfriend-his fiancé-sitting on his bed packing a small suitcase. "Are you almost ready?"
"Yeah...nearly." Jared gets short of breath all of the time now. Even simple tasks seem to take him twice as long as they used to and he needs frequent rest breaks to make it through the day.
"Are you nervous?"
"Nah," Jared answers, folding a t-shirt into careful quarters he adds it to his case. He pauses for a second, glances up and holds his thumb and finger an inch apart. "Yeah, maybe just a teeny bit."
"Thought you might be," Jensen reaches into the backpack on his shoulder and pulls out a black and yellow, battered-looking, Furby. It's missing one eye and it isn't pretty, what most people with young children would refer to as a 'well loved' toy.
"What's that? Jensen, is that a Furby?"
"This is Mr. Snuggles, I thought he might bring you luck." Jensen holds out the toy but then pulls it away when Jared reaches out to take it, "Hey, he can hear you laughing! Do not mock The Snuggles."
"The Snuggles?" Jared repeats, disbelievingly.
"This little dude got me through two bouts of chickenpox and a bad case of stomach flu." Jensen bends down so that his mouth is level with Jared's ear. "Personally, I think he has magical healing powers."
"Righttttttttttt." Jared takes the toy, ruffles its raggedy fur and jams it into the top of his case.
"But you mustn't' ever tell anyone that I gave him to you."
"Why....because then his powers won't work?" Jared asks sardonically.
"No, because kids are cruel and I have a reputation to think about." Jensen slides a hand behind Jared's head and kisses him gently on the mouth before shifting down to suck at the skin on his collarbone. Jared rocks against him, jerking his hips and Jensen's hisses through clenched teeth as his body starts to react. It's so hot, so amazing, that Jensen has to drag himself away when Jared's pronounced breathing begins to falter.
Jared takes a moment to catch his breath but the grin lighting up his face tells Jensen how much he liked what they just did, "I still can't believe your dad pulled strings to get me this surgery," He tugs at the zipper on his suitcase until it's tightly closed.
"I'll be outside in the waiting room the whole time you're in surgery."
"Jensen, it'll be hours."
"Like I'm gonna sit on my ass watching TiVo at home," Jensen scoffs. "I want to be there."
"I'll be fine."
"Of course you will. Mr. Snuggles has a reputation to maintain too."
The waiting room hasn't changed since the last time Jensen was here. Hours of mind numbing boredom offset with crippling worry. Quite simply, it's no trip to Disneyland.
Jensen has just returned from purchasing his third or fourth vending machine candy bar when Gerry rushes over. Jensen drops the sweet mid-bite, the bones in his legs turning to liquid when he sees the pastor’s broken expression.
"Jensen, it's Jared..."
