Life Is Fragile, Handle With Care- Chapter 3
Master Post
Jensen goes to church every Sunday, like a good Christian and a dutiful son but that doesn’t mean he has to like it or pay attention.
Jensen doesn’t like being preached to or at. He doesn’t like to be told what he can or can’t do under the eyes of God-trying to jerk off on a Sunday afternoon is always more difficult with Pastor Padalecki’s voice still ringing in his ears.
Every Sunday Jensen finds new ways to daydream away the Pastor’s monotone sermons. Sometimes he’ll think up lyrics for Kane’s Rejects Rodeo songs and sometimes he’ll plan another part of his first ‘epic road-trip’-which is totally going to happen when he finally gets a part-time job and saves up enough spondulas. The Hot Dog Hall of Fame in El Cajon being one of Jensen’s top ten must-see sights.
Today, Jensen wiles away the entire church service staring at the back of Jared Padalecki’s head.
Jared’s always seated house front and center, next to his sister. Guess being the Pastor’s kids means you get the best seats.
Jensen shuffles his backside, trying not to let it fall asleep, as he watches Jared casually run a hand through his too-long hair while up on the lectern in front of him, his father talks endlessly about Leviticus. Jensen’s still occupied with gazing at Jared when Mackenzie kicks him in the shin and he realizes everyone is standing up to sing Christ the Lord Is Risen Today.
Jensen scowls and gives his sister’s hair a quick yank as payback, feeling stupid and embarrassed for being caught staring like some stalkerish love sick puppy dog.
Jensen normally amuses himself by changing the words to hymns but with his mind otherwise engaged he settles for lip-syncing, choosing to ignore Mackenzie’s expression of righteous indignation as she pushes her glittery hair clip neatly back into place.
After the service, as they’re filing out of church with the rest of the congregation, Jensen tells his mom he’s going to head over to the basketball courts for a game of one-on-one with Mike. He only feels a tiny bit guilty for lying in the house of God. He waits until his mom and Mackenzie are out of sight before turning around and hurrying back inside the church building.
“Uhm, Pastor?” Jensen says, walking towards where Pastor Padalecki is still standing up at the lectern. Jensen grimaces at the way his nervous sounding voice echoes right up to the high ceiling. The room is empty except for a couple of stragglers who’ve remained sitting in their seats seemingly too engaged in prayer to pay Jensen any attention.
Pastor Padalecki looks up slowly from the scriptural passage he’s reading, a glass of water half-way towards his lips. He eyes Jensen carefully before setting down his drink next to the open bible in front of him. “Yes? Can I help you, Jensen?”
“Sir, I’m here because I want your permission. I want to ask your son out,” Jensen anxiously chews at the edge of his thumbnail before he realizes he’s doing it and stuffs his hand away into his pocket. “On a date.” Jensen clarifies unnecessarily, “I want to take Jared to dinner on Friday night.”
“That’s not possible,” Pastor Padalecki slides his thin wire-framed glasses to the end of his nose, studying Jensen over the top of them.
“With all due respect Sir, can I ask you to reconsider?” Jensen’s voice is turning into a croak as his mouth dries out.
“With all due respect Mr. Ackles, I’ve made my decision. You can exit the way you entered.” The Pastor looks away, actually waving his hand to give Jensen a dismissive- patronizing-as-hell- shoo gesture.
“Listen, I’m sorry I haven’t treated Jared the way I should have. He deserves more than that. I’m just asking you for the same thing that you teach us every time we’re here in church and that’s faith.”
The pastor clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth, “Jared’s been different lately. He seems happier and I don’t think I’m mistaken when I say it started when you joined the Drama Club at school. But he’s also been unhappy and I know that’s down to you as well.”
“Sir, I care about Jared, a lot. Please believe me.”
The Dos Rios Tex Mex restaurant in Valley View Mall isn’t posh but it’s the best that Jensen’s allowance can afford and a damn sight better than splitting an ice-cream sundae over at the Dairy Queen.
“I can’t believe you went to see my father,” Jared says, widening his eyes when Jensen takes his hand as their waitress leads them towards a free table.
They’re walking close together-too closely for anyone else to see-but they’re holding hands.
This is new territory for the both of them.
“It’s no big deal, he’s a cool guy.” Jensen slides into the booth as Jared takes the opposite side. They’re no longer holding hands but Jensen’s feet find Jared’s under the table and he pokes him gently with the toe of his sneaker, feeling giddy when Jared traps his ankle and grins cheerfully at him.
“A cool guy?” Jared mouths, stunned. Silence reigns while they study their menus. Both agreeing to share a bowl of Mucho Nachos as an appetizer, followed by burgers, salad with ranchero dressing and chili fries. Jensen orders a 7-Up and Jared asks for a coke ice-cream float, shyly admitting that he probably has the sweetest tooth in the whole of Texas.
When all the food has been devoured and their stomachs are full to bursting point, they take a slow walk through Huffhines Park, heading towards where Jensen left his car. The night air is cold but sweet scented. The carmine-pink blossoms of Okame Cherry trees line the leafy trail and it’s beautiful in a way two teenaged boys absorbed in each-other wouldn’t bother to notice.
As they pass Venezia, an expensive Italian restaurant that overlooks the park, Jared tugs at Jensen’s hand. Dragging him along until they’re both standing side-by-side outside the restaurant’s large plate-glass window, watching the people inside dancing to a live jazz band.
“You like to dance?” Jared asks, turning to look at Jensen.
“I don’t...as in, I can’t.”
“Everybody can dance, you can’t be that bad.”
“Oh I am, last time I danced it was at my cousin’s wedding. I gave one of the bridesmaids a nose bleed when I accidentally hit her in the face.”
“You hit her in the face?”
“I was trying to do The Macarena, I’d had three glasses of white wine. “ Jensen covers his eyes, mortified at owning up to such a thing. It seems being around Jared gives him a bad case of verbal diarrhea, or maybe, it’s just that he feels like he can tell Jared every weird and wonderful thing that’s ever popped up inside his head.
“Come on, please? Nobody will see us.” Jared tightens his grip on Jensen’s hand and pulls him into the dark shadows of the alleyway which runs by the side of the building. They can still hear the music, faint rhythmic guitar and drum beats. “Oh! Ouch!”
“Sorry, I said I was bad.”
“So, what’s number one on your wish list?” Jensen asks, trying to distract himself from the fact that he really is slow-dancing in a dirty alleyway that actually smells pretty funky. Jared smiles at him but doesn’t say anything. “Okay, well, number one on my list is getting out of this town.”
“Getting out isn’t the hard part, it’s figuring out what you’re going to do when you get there. I mean, you could do anything.”
Jensen stops moving, he’s never really thought of his future like that before. Jared’s right of course.
When they get back in the car, Jensen starts to drive and manages to wave off Jared’s questions about where they’re going. Since they’ve passed the city limits he’s clearly not taking Jared home yet.
Jensen pulls the car to a halt on a darkened stretch of empty highway. Jared peers out through the passenger side window, trying to make out shapes in the gloom but sees nothing other than the skeletal silhouettes of trees and scraggly clumps of roadside mesquite brush. “Is this the part where you kill me and bury my body where nobody will ever find it?” He asks, raising a quizzical eyebrow. Jensen laughs out loud and climbs out the car, motioning for Jared to follow him. “Seriously, Jensen, what are we doing here?” Jared asks, jogging to try and keep up with Jensen’s brisk pace.
“Running!”
“Runni..? What? You’re crazy!”
“Okay, stand there. One foot here, put your other foot there.”
Jared follows Jensen’s instructions reluctantly, until he’s standing in the middle of the road with his feet spread several inches apart. “Damn, it’s freezing cold. What’s going on?”
“Right now, you’re straddling the state line.” Jensen looks excited, even in the darkness Jared can see the white of his smile glinting.
“I’m what?”
“Your left foot is officially in Oklahoma, you’re in two places at once! That’s on your wish list isn’t it?”
Jared stares dumbly down at his feet and starts to laugh. Jensen moves to stand behind him, surprising Jared by putting his jacket around his broad shoulders. “Jensen, I’m not a girl.”
“No but you’re shivering. Anyway there’s something inside the pocket for you.” Jensen points at his coat, “Right in there, go on, take a look.”
Jared gives Jensen a bemused glance, frowning as he digs around inside the front jacket pocket. After a few seconds he retrieves a handful of temporary tattoos. “Number six on my list, get a tattoo. Jensen, you’re...”
“Amazing. It’s alright, I already know.” Jensen grins. “So, what’ll it be? A star, a butterfly or the tacky but classic, heart with love written across the middle?”
Jared laughs again, a loud sound that rumbles up from his belly and makes him clutch at his sides. “You choose.”
Jensen licks his tongue over his lips. “The star. Where do you want it?”
Jared thinks for a moment before lifting up the edge of his t-shirt to reveal the flat plane of his stomach. “Here, where my dad can’t see.”
“It’s going to come off, two days tops I reckon, three if you don’t shower.”
“I know but can you imagine the heart-attack my dad will have if he sees it before I get to tell him it’s only temporary.”
“Point taken,” Jensen smiles, he swallows thickly as he places the star tattoo down onto the chosen spot on Jared’s skin, smoothing out the creases in the paper with the back of his knuckles and trying not to show how much it effects him when they skim against Jared’s flesh. Jared’s stomach muscles tightening as he tries not to move and ruin the design.
When Jensen lifts the paper away, the tattoo is a perfect gloss black star sitting high on Jared’s hipbone. Jensen crouches down on his haunches and blows gently over the tattoo, making sure it’s stuck to the skin. It’s beautiful, he thinks.
“I should take you home soon.” Jensen says as they sit together on the hood of his car, staring up at the sky. His elbow is brushing against Jared’s side but he doesn’t want to move away.
Silvery moonlight catches Jared’s eyes, making them shimmer. He blinks up at the heavens and then turns to Jensen, “How can you see things like this, have moments like this and not believe?”
“You’re lucky to be so sure.” Jensen tips his head back to stare at the sky, the millions of stars shining down on them. “I mean, how do you know anyone is really up there?”
“It’s like the wind, I can’t see it but I can feel it.”
“What do you feel?”
“Wonder and beauty, joy, love. It’s the center of everything.”
“I might kiss you.”
“I might be bad at it.”
“Then maybe we should try and find out?”
Jensen leans in, the metal of the car cold and solid beneath his body as he seals his lips over Jared’s. It’s every bit as sweet as their first kiss, sweeter perhaps because this time, Jared kisses him back like he means it. It’s a deep, open-mouthed, kiss and Jensen’s hand follows the length of Jared’s spine until it settles on his waist, thumb rubbing gently back and forth over the spot where he knows the star tattoo is.
Pulling back, Jensen says breathlessly, “Jared, I think I’m in love with you.” Jared eyes are hooded, unreadable. Jensen swallows around the lump lodged in his throat. “Now would be a good time to say something.”
“I told you not to fall in love with me.” Jared whispers softly and then with a shake of his head, flicking uncontrollable strands of dark hair out of his eyes, he’s pushing forwards into Jensen’s space, kissing Jensen, moaning into his mouth.
Jensen closes his eyes and sinks into the kiss. It’s so damn hot and everything is so damn perfect it feels as though there should be multi-colored fireworks exploding in the sky above their heads. For now though, Jensen’s content with the ones exploding inside his stomach.
He’s not sure exactly when it happened but suddenly Jensen can’t think of anything but Jared and spending time with him. He’s continuously making plans-etching out every little detail-so that they end up spending all their free time together. There’s just something about Jared that draws him in and refuses to let go.
Jensen feels like a hopeless romantic the way he locks himself in his room on the rare occasions that he is alone and carefully works out weekend plans. They would both be satisfied to just sit on the couch and watch movies but Jensen has other ideas and he’s determined to make them work out, to make the weekend perfect.
So when Saturday morning rolls around he practically skips up to Jared’s door and knocks a bit too enthusiastically before stepping back to wait for it to open.
His smile widens when Jared appears, wearing a long-sleeved shirt that clings to him in all the right places and a pair of dark jeans with a growing hole at the left knee. Jensen can’t help pushing forward and wrapping a hand around the back of Jared’s neck, pulling him down into a quick, innocent kiss.
Jared doesn’t pull away but Jensen can feel his shoulders tense and suddenly realizes that Jared might not be too comfortable kissing where his father or nosey little sister could see. S0 he pulls back and offers an apologetic smile to which Jared smiles back and reaches out for Jensen’s hand.
“Should we get going?” Jensen asks after a few seconds and Jared nods before calling out a quick goodbye to his family.
“So where are going?” Jared asks as the two of them hop into the truck. His only answer is a smile and a shake of the head as Jensen pulls away from the house and toward their first destination.
He tries extremely hard not to give in as Jared pesters him during the entire twenty-five minute drive, acting too much like a child around Christmas time. In order to keep the secret long enough, Jensen has to focus completely on the road ahead instead of looking at Jared and his pleading puppy eyes, which Jensen is beginning to dislike the more he sees them.
When at last they pull up to the large arena, he finally looks over at Jared and sees the exact moment when realization dawns on him. Jared turns toward Jensen with wide eyes and an even wider smile before practically springing across the bench seat to close the distance between them, wrapping his long arms around Jensen’s shoulders.
“So this is why you told me to dress warm?”
“Couldn’t have you freezing your sexy ass off now could I?” he asks as he slides a hand up between their bodies and pushes Jared backwards, breaking the contact. “So are we going to skate or not?”
Jared beams at him before sliding back to his side of the seat and quickly climbing out of the car, darting across the lot and up to the doors. Jensen laughs at Jared’s eagerness, enjoying the unbelievable amount of energy his boyfriend seems to possess today.
He stops at the curb and stares at Jared who has his face pressed up against the glass doors, peering in at all the activity going on inside the arena. It’s new, exciting and quite terrifying but he likes Jared a lot and is practically incapable of being away from him so he’s fairly certain that qualifies them as boyfriends. And he kind of really likes it.
“Alright, Sparky,” Jensen says as he hurries up to Jared and places a hand at the small of his back, ushering Jared inside. “Let’s get on the ice before it melts.”
Jensen quickly pays for their admission as well as skates and heads back over to Jared. He’s afraid if he takes too long Jared will dart out onto the ice with nothing but socks. He hands Jared a pair of skates and settles down on the cushioned bench as they tightly lace up the skates, shove their shoes into an assigned locker and then very unsteadily head out toward the rink.
“Have you ever done this before?” Jared asks as they stare out at everyone else on the ice. Seems people either skate easily and smoothly around the rink or end up on their backsides every two minutes.
“Once,” Jensen says with a teasing smile as he pulls Jared toward the entrance, surprised at how quickly Jared goes from excited to nervous. “But I’m not too good.”
“That’s not very reassuring!” Jared pulls his hand out of Jensen’s and tries to move away from the entrance, back to the safety of just watching.
“Come on, Jared,” he begs with his own version of the pleading puppy eyes, which obviously aren’t as powerful as Jared’s. “This is something you wanted to do, right?”
“But it doesn’t mean I have to do it.”
“What could be so bad?”
“I could fall and break my leg.”
“I won’t let you fall.”
“How can you stop me if you’re falling too?”
“Fine.” Jensen’s lips turn up into a mischievous smile. “I won’t let you fall alone.”
“So if I break my leg, you’ll break yours too?” Jared smiles as Jensen nods in agreement and he finally wobbles back toward Jensen and the entrance. “You’re too nice to me, Jensen.”
“Just remember that when neither of us can walk tomorrow.”
Together they carefully head out onto the ice. Jared automatically attaches himself to the wall with Jensen on his other side. They slowly make their first skate-more like a shuffle-around the rink, hands clasped tightly together and ankles wobbling dangerously.
It’s not until the middle of their third lap that Jared gets up the courage to let go of the wall but doesn’t bother telling Jensen. Jared stands up straighter and ends up shifting slightly toward Jensen who is unprepared for the change.
Jensen’s frantically tries to regain his balance, his feet move in and out to find the right position until eventually his ankles and knees give up and his legs fly out from under him, sending him flat on his back. He hadn’t expected to keep his promise to go down with Jared but as their hands were still connected, Jensen found himself suddenly crushed by Jared’s tall, lanky frame.
Once the throbbing in Jensen’s ass and head recedes a little, he blinks his eyes open to find Jared’s amused face inches from his own. He tries to seem angry but as Jared starts to laugh Jensen can’t hold back his own smile, even as he pushes Jared off of him and crawls back toward the wall.
Jared stays on the ice, one arm thrown over his middle as he continues to laugh and the other arm held up toward Jensen. He grabs Jared’s hand and tries to pull the other boy to his feet but just as Jared shifts to his knees, Jensen loses his balance once again and ends up back on the ice, as Jared remains on his knees beside him.
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as Jared’s laughter roars, becoming the only thing he hears amongst the loud chatter on the rink. When he turns his head he sees Jared bent over, eyes shining with tears of laughter. Jensen can’t help but grab Jared’s arm, pulling him down on top of him once again and sealing their lips together.
It doesn’t last too long as they both begin to shiver from the cold contact of the ice. Jensen carefully pushes Jared to the side so he can try once more to get to his feet. This time he holds onto the wall as he helps Jared stand.
He can see the blush on Jared’s cheeks and knows it’s not just from the cold. But Jared keeps his head low, an embarrassed smile curling at his lips and displaying his dimples. Jensen wants to pull Jared out of the rink and somewhere much more private but with their skills on the ice, by the time they reach the exit the mood will have already been killed.
So instead, he reaches out and tips Jared’s chin up, offering a comforting smiling before they both turn straight and give this skating thing on more try.
They only fall about six more times as they take another three laps around the rink. By the time they’re starting on their seventh lap both of them are cold, sore and seriously lacking in the pride they had walked in with.
Jensen carefully helps Jared off the ice and they wobble back over to the bench. They let out a collective sigh once their bruised backsides meet the soft cushion. Jensen takes a moment to enjoy the comfort before standing back up and retrieving their shoes from the locker. He never thought he’d be so happy to have his feet back in flat, comfortable shoes that don’t require extra work to maintain balance.
“I think I’ll be good if I never skate again,” Jared says as he rubs at his lower back.
“Me too, but,” Jensen says with a smile as he stands up to return their skates, “it’s one more thing you can cross off now.”
He loves the way Jared’s eyes light up, smile growing into a toothy grin as his dimples become more prominent. It’s hard for him to stop staring but after a few seconds he shakes his head and rubs at the back of his neck before grabbing their skates and heading off toward the desk.
When he turns around he catches Jared watching him; gratitude and happiness shining in Jared’s hazel eyes. He smiles to himself, pleased at being able to put that look on Jared’s face, to make him smile in such a way that it nearly melts Jensen’s heart.
Jensen has no doubt about his feelings for Jared. The tingling that takes over every time their eyes met and the way his heart beat rises whenever they touch. Yeah, Jensen definitely has it bad.
Jared’s a bit subdued when they reach their second destination but Jensen can see that he’s still smiling even as he stares distantly out the window. It takes him a few seconds to realize Jensen has stopped the car and is staring at him with a fond smile of his own.
“What?” Jared finally asks as he turns away from the window and toward Jensen.
“Just wondering if you’re going to sit there all day or if we can go inside?”
“Where are we anyways?”
“The movies.” Jensen quickly hops out of the car and waits for Jared to join him before heading toward the entrance.
He watches Jared closely as the taller boy looks around the parking lot in confusion. Jared has no idea where they are and Jensen congratulates himself for being able to keep the secret this long.
As he pulls the door open and ushers Jared into the side entrance of the theater, he feels his palms start to sweat and the little butterflies in his stomach seem to increase. When he turns back, Jared's studying the elaborate décor of the theater with a look of pure awe and Jensen’s nervousness disappears-quickly replaced with longing.
Jensen wraps his arm around Jared’s waist and pulls him closer as the two navigate through the crowded lobby and up to the usher. Jensen had picked up the tickets in advance since he’d been worried they would sell out. He figures it’s slightly ridiculous considering what they’re going to see but it made him feel better.
The usher rips their ticket stubs with mumbled directions to the theater as he hands them two pairs of unbelievably hideous glasses. Jensen tries not to laugh at the confusion and slight disgust on Jared’s face as he twists the glasses in his hands and politely thanks the usher.
“What on earth are we seeing?” Jared asks.
“Funny you should say earth.” he drops his arm from Jared’s waist and grabs his hand instead, interlocking their fingers as he tugs him into the theater.
They stop at the bottom level of seats and Jared’s eyes go wide as he twists around in a complete three-sixty. The screen expands from wall to wall, ceiling to floor, with a slight curve that makes it seem like it nearly wraps around the rows of seating in front of it.
The seats are positioned in a half circle around the theater, expanding at least twenty-five rows above their current position. They aren’t the uncomfortable types one would see in a typical theater. These have padded arm rests and plenty of room between rows so that no one is disturbed.
After a few seconds of standing around, Jensen tugs Jared’s hand once again and pulls him up toward the last row, picking the two secluded seats on the left side of the isle. He pushes Jared into the seat against the wall and then drops into the chair beside him.
“It’s kind of hard to see the Earth from space unless you’re an astronaut,” Jensen says softly as his hand finds Jared’s thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I figured this is the next best thing.”
He hands Jared one of the ticket stubs and watches closely as Jared reads the title of the feature, Hubble 3-D. Jared’s hands are shaking slightly and Jensen really hopes it’s just from excitement.
Finally Jared looks up at him with wide eyes and a smile to match. “This is perfect.”
Jensen loses control and his hand quickly moves to Jared’s neck, bringing their lips together again except this time, neither pulls away. Surprisingly Jared seems to relax, allowing Jensen access to his mouth even as his shaky hands grip the front of Jensen’s shirt, wrinkling the cotton in a tight fist.
Jared chases after the kiss when Jensen finally pulls back. His cheeks grow a light shade of red as Jensen rubs his thumb softly over Jared’s jaw line. They stare at each other for a few seconds before Jared turns forward, his eyes falling into his lap and hands fiddling with his hideous glasses once again.
“I’m sorry,” Jensen whispers even though he’s not sure why.
“I liked it,” Jared says just as quietly and his smile returns. “It’s just new. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s real.”
Jensen squeezes Jared’s thigh and gives him a reassuring smile. “I don’t know how I got so lucky, but it’s definitely real.”
“You are extremely lucky,” Jared says as he slips on the huge glasses, the tinted lenses hiding the color of his eyes. “Everyone else wishes they could be sitting with someone who can actually look this good in these glasses.”
Jensen laughs as he pulls his own glasses on. He drapes his arm around the back of Jared’s seat just as the lights dim completely and the feature begins on the screen.
Throughout the movie he finds himself watching Jared more than the screen but he has to admit that Jared hadn’t been lying.
Only Jared Padalecki could look so hot wearing the most ridiculous pair of glasses.
It annoys Jensen that the thick rims of the glasses keep him from seeing the way Jared’s eyes light up when the Earth is finally shown on the large screen in front of them. However, Jared’s hand finds its way into Jensen’s at that exact moment and Jensen realizes he doesn’t have to see Jared’s eyes. He knows all his planning has paid off when Jared’s fingers lock with his and the smile on Jared’s face-one he can take credit for-glows brighter than the screen in the dark theater around them.
They’ve been dating for little over a month when Jared’s dad confronts his son about Jensen.
A lot has changed for Jared and all of it is because of his new boyfriend. His outlook on life has drastically altered. Where before Jared had been accepting of his future, now he wants different things, he wants more.
Gerry Padalecki leans across the dinner table, popping open another container and tipping the steaming contents onto Jared’s plate. It’s a Tuesday and Megan is at dance class. Once a week, Jared and his dad eat dinner alone together. Usually taking the opportunity to order take out since Megan would normally scowl at them for eating anything remotely unhealthy. Tonight, it’s Chinese from The Golden Wok. His dad has ordered all of Jared’s favorites and that sets off deafening alarm bells ringing inside Jared’s head.
Sure enough, Jared’s barely gotten the first mouthful of Kung Po Chicken past his lips when Gerry glances over at him from across the table and asks, “Are you serious about Jensen?”
Jared swallows his food without chewing; burning the roof of his mouth in the process so he takes a sip of soda to cool the stinging. “Dad...”
“It’s just,” Gerry exhales heavily and sets down his chopsticks. “It’s wrong Jared. What you’re doing is wrong. Sinful.”
“I’m serious about Jensen,” Jared says, wiping his mouth on a napkin and wishing desperately for his dad to just drop it already.
“Then be fair to him, before things get worse.”
Jared’s appetite has never taken a nosedive so quickly before.
