elite_muses: #23
And while you wallow in your wounds // You let the devils draw near -- One More Mile; Tom Mcrae
You know… I knew the day would come where I’d arrive at House’s apartment and knock, and hear no answer. And know that something was wrong. House is like a walking time bomb. With how out of control he’s been lately… it was only a matter of time.
I’ll be the first to admit: I don’t trust Tritter any more than I like him. That’s obvious. Nobody likes a guy who goes out of his way to destroy other people. House is an addict, he’s in pain. He’s a miserable bastard. And it was only a matter of time before he’d piss off the wrong person. I mean, Christ -- the guy’s been shot, and he still hasn’t learned a thing about the value of boundaries or relationships, or even the value of his own life. So, of course he’s not going to care about the threat that Tritter poses to him. House is the kind of guy who has the single-mindedness of a child; you know, he thinks he’s invincible, untouchable, because if he keeps everyone out, then there’s no one to hurt him or destroy him.
And Tritter… He’s a smart guy. He’s worked out the way that House operates, and he’s worked out that the best way to get to House is through me. Because I associate with House by choice, he’s my friend, I’d do almost anything for him. Stupidly. Because I care about him. But combine House pissing Tritter off, and Tritter using that as a means to seek justice, and Tritter using me to get to House, and House’s constant need to prove his theory that all relationships are conditional and… yeah. Boom. Time bomb goes off.
When it comes down to it, this whole mess isn’t even about Tritter seeking to destroy House, or even me. This is about House’s destructiveness, his inability to come to terms with the fact that sometimes relationships are unconditional, his addiction. He’s destroying himself, and I’m in the crossfire because I’m his only friend, and because I have direct connection with House’s drug dependency.
I believe that true friendships aren’t conditional. I’ve always believed that. That doesn’t mean that I don’t believe that there are boundaries -- condition and boundaries are two completely different things. I don’t like hurting people. I don’t like walking away from people in need. But I also don’t like being pushed to the point where I have no choice but to turn away.
I knew there was something wrong when I was standing at House’s door and he wasn’t answering. I just had a gut feeling, else I wouldn’t have persisted. Seeing House, lying there in his own vomit… Seeing the empty vial of Oxycodone that he’d stolen, drugs that were intended for a cancer patient of mine who needed that medication… I felt nothing but disgust, anger, hurt, frustration. I can’t pinpoint any one particular emotion.
They say that you can only truly be angry with those that you love, with those that are closest to you. I hate seeing House like this. But I can’t do this anymore. I refuse to enable House’s destructiveness. I’m not going to be of any help to him by tending to his wants.
Right now, I don’t know if I can ever look him in the eye again.
Muse: James Wilson
Fandom: House, M.D.
Words: 553
You know… I knew the day would come where I’d arrive at House’s apartment and knock, and hear no answer. And know that something was wrong. House is like a walking time bomb. With how out of control he’s been lately… it was only a matter of time.
I’ll be the first to admit: I don’t trust Tritter any more than I like him. That’s obvious. Nobody likes a guy who goes out of his way to destroy other people. House is an addict, he’s in pain. He’s a miserable bastard. And it was only a matter of time before he’d piss off the wrong person. I mean, Christ -- the guy’s been shot, and he still hasn’t learned a thing about the value of boundaries or relationships, or even the value of his own life. So, of course he’s not going to care about the threat that Tritter poses to him. House is the kind of guy who has the single-mindedness of a child; you know, he thinks he’s invincible, untouchable, because if he keeps everyone out, then there’s no one to hurt him or destroy him.
And Tritter… He’s a smart guy. He’s worked out the way that House operates, and he’s worked out that the best way to get to House is through me. Because I associate with House by choice, he’s my friend, I’d do almost anything for him. Stupidly. Because I care about him. But combine House pissing Tritter off, and Tritter using that as a means to seek justice, and Tritter using me to get to House, and House’s constant need to prove his theory that all relationships are conditional and… yeah. Boom. Time bomb goes off.
When it comes down to it, this whole mess isn’t even about Tritter seeking to destroy House, or even me. This is about House’s destructiveness, his inability to come to terms with the fact that sometimes relationships are unconditional, his addiction. He’s destroying himself, and I’m in the crossfire because I’m his only friend, and because I have direct connection with House’s drug dependency.
I believe that true friendships aren’t conditional. I’ve always believed that. That doesn’t mean that I don’t believe that there are boundaries -- condition and boundaries are two completely different things. I don’t like hurting people. I don’t like walking away from people in need. But I also don’t like being pushed to the point where I have no choice but to turn away.
I knew there was something wrong when I was standing at House’s door and he wasn’t answering. I just had a gut feeling, else I wouldn’t have persisted. Seeing House, lying there in his own vomit… Seeing the empty vial of Oxycodone that he’d stolen, drugs that were intended for a cancer patient of mine who needed that medication… I felt nothing but disgust, anger, hurt, frustration. I can’t pinpoint any one particular emotion.
They say that you can only truly be angry with those that you love, with those that are closest to you. I hate seeing House like this. But I can’t do this anymore. I refuse to enable House’s destructiveness. I’m not going to be of any help to him by tending to his wants.
Right now, I don’t know if I can ever look him in the eye again.
Muse: James Wilson
Fandom: House, M.D.
Words: 553