(no subject)

[dontdrinksoap]

It is SO unbelievably hard trying to find any kind of amusement on the internet after not owning a computer for over a year. I should be proud of this, about eradicating any dependence on the internet for entertainment. I have retracted myself from my usual haunts and habits online (which was all about downloading music and clicking on every music blog I came across, bookmarking the best ones), and now all I can find to do is watch movies and TV shows (hehe) on YouTube. Occasionally I remember a few websites I used to go on and I check up on them, but they primarily have to do with bands and there's not a lot to be had on message boards about a person who died years and years ago. I want to be able to be up-to-date in the music biz; I undoubtedly have no fucking clue what is happening in the music world and I have been out of the loop for so long. When I listen to music on websites like YouTube and MySpace, I'm usually listening to bands that are 20 years old at least. I used to know of all the bands that came out that year--now, I am filing through Wal-Mart CD racks, all of the music stores having gone out of business close to six years ago because of everyone using the internet instead. (Thank you for that. Us cavepeople REALLY appreciate it.) People would mention a band or artist and I would list off my favorite songs. It makes me feel disconcerted, because I used to be on top of shit. It makes me upset and frustrated that I cannot discover and know about ANYTHING--books, movies, music, and anything else my generation finds on the web--without a computer on my lap. Television is useless; I could buy pretentious and stupid magazines like Blender and Spin for five bucks a pop, which, much like what everyone else says, ain't happenin'. I don't think I even like half or more than half of the music covered in magazines. It goes without saying there is NO music scene to be had in this town. I feel like I am floating on a lifeboat in the middle of an ocean, with nothing for company but what looks like an infinity of water. I have to hum something I have never heard before to know that there is still music being made. I have to recall memories buried in my mind from when I was five years old. I have to look through bookshelves in the only book store and the only library to find horrible and trite novels that I wouldn't lay a finger on.

I should be a little proud, but I just feel unsettled.