muses_w_remotes | 11.14. Gossip Girl quote
14. "A girl wants Romeo not Hamlet."
| Gossip Girl
Co-written with canmakeufeel
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Madison had taken everything Flynn had told her, and after their brief cuddle, she'd jumped into his car and made the drive to Princeton. She could have taken her own, but the truth was she needed a bit of Flynn to make the trip with her. She couldn't even really pinpoint when the nesting thoughts had really started, but the truth was she figured she'd always wanted a family with Flynn at least. He was her other half, body and soul. Had been since they'd met. He'd just always been accepting that she'd probably get snapped up by some other guy, and willing to slide back into a best friend role.
Then Remy had come along, and Remy had let her and Flynn be everything they ever wanted and more with him. He was a third piece to the puzzle that fit, even if it wasn't always a smooth fit. And lately without sex in the equation, they'd all been left with their own thoughts and given time to talk about things. Their relationship had evolved, but still Remy wasn't one to settle.
And Maddy knew that, and she was okay with that. But she also needed to talk to him about sperm and children, and the thoughts that wouldn't leave her alone. She pulled into Rogue and Chase's driveway, remembering that Remy said he'd be on Daisy duty. She knocked softly on the door as she tried the handle, and found it open to her surprise.
She also found Remy in the lounge room, staring at nothing in particular. "You do realise that dog-sitting usually involves a dog of some description?" Maddy looked around trying to see Daisy, but the excitable puppy was nowhere to be seen.
Remy was shirtless, just in jeans, as he indulged in a cigarette with his feet up on the coffee table. He turned to look at Maddy with a smirk, not particularly surprised to see her. She had said she would come at some point. "She's camped out in the bebe's room and seemingly happy to be. It suits us both. We have an agreement." The smoke went back to his lips, but he was watching her over the top of it. "To what do I owe the pleasure, mon amour?"
Maddy dropped her bag on a chair as she hovered uncertainly, not sure if she should sit next to him or not. Since he was shirtless, her need to talk to him might get pushed aside in favour of groping him. She did the smart thing and perched herself on one of the other chairs, hands clasped in her lap. "We need to talk about sperm," Maddy said, figuring there was no point in indulging in small talk. She needed this over with before her heart decided to burst out of her chest.
Remy blinked and blew the smoke out slowly, head tilting a little at the comment. "Aren't mommies and daddies supposed to get this chat out of the way when you're, oh, twelve?" he asked in amusement.
Maddy rolled her eyes playfully and smirked. "It's not that kind of sperm chat. But funny you should mention mommies and daddies."
This caused Remy to sit up a little straighter and look at her warily. "Whose mommies and daddies?" he asked uncertainly, the smoke left for the moment to burn down a little between his fingers.
Maddy looked away, and tried to work out the best way to phrase what she needed to tell him without sending the usually cool Cajun into a panic. "I... well, all these babies and weddings happening, and I guess... well, I guess I'm not as immune to thoughts of babies like I thought. Lately it's been something that's been playing on my mind, and I was talking with Flynn about it. We--well, if he wasn't infertile, I think children is something we'd be doing now."
"Right now?" Remy asked, the frown still staying settled on his forehead. He briefly wondered if Chase had any joints stashed anywhere because he could really use one right about now.
She gave a shake of her head. "No, not right now. Just... soon. Eventually. Maybe?" She shifted to go to her bag and pulled out a little plastic bag with a couple of joints in it. Apparently she was getting to know Remy pretty well. "Sorry it's not me naked and covered in coke. But I figured it would be an okay bribe given we're in someone else's house."
Remy's red eyes shifted to the plastic bag and he raised an eyebrow. He didn't protest, though. He took it and pulled one of the joints out to light it up. "You want my sperm," he deduced before inhaling slowly and letting the marijuana give him just a slightly stronger hit than a smoke normally would.
"Yes," Maddy replied, daring to sit next to Remy. He was hot even when he smoked a joint. It was the mouth. And those eyes. "But not if you feel like I'm trying to take something you can't offer. Or force you into a position you don't want to be in. Flynn said... well, he said we'd be able to apply for an external sperm donor if it came to that. Just that you should know. Truth is, I don't want an external one. I want you. I want something that belongs to the three of us. I'm not asking you to settle, or anything like that."
Remy wet his lips, listening to her closely. "You do realise this isn't shopping for lingerie, mon belle."
Madison arched an eyebrow. "Of course, I do."
"Are you sure you aren't just caught up in everything that's going on?" Remy asked, settling back into the chair.
"I felt this way at Christmas before Tara popped... If it was just that I'd have been over it." Maddy rest her head in her hand as she braced her elbow against the back of the sofa. "It wouldn't be a solid want that's lasted for three months if it was just that."
Remy was quiet and took a slow drag on the joint. "I don't want kids, amour. I never really have," he told her, watching her closely. "I've never really even liked them or know what to do with them. There is no desire for parenthood there."
"Even if me and Flynn took all the responsibility?" Maddy asked, trying to keep her face straight. There was a flicker of disappointment, but it was more because she'd been trying to keep it all in their dysfunctional family. She didn't want some stranger's sperm.
Remy's eyes narrowed a little as he tried to wrap his head all around it. This really wasn't how he imagined his lazy arse Saturday to pan out. "You think it's just as easy as me shooting my load into you? You don't think children is going to change absolutely everything?" he asked, wondering why he was the only one in the world it seemed right now who didn't want to deal with shit filled diapers.
Madison shrugged helplessly as she turned to face forward. "Yeah... I guess. Shit, I don't know. I don't fucking know anything anymore other than I miss my boys and everyone's having fucking babies, and suddenly I was wanting babies and Flynn's infertile, but alive and I am so goddamn horny, and I maybe had this fucked up fantasy involving pregnant sex and gah," she finished inelegantly as she threw her arms up and let them drop against her thighs.
Remy's nose screwed up. "I'm not really into pregnant sex, amour," he told her. Maybe it would change if he had to directly deal with it, but until he did, it was definitely not his cup of tea. "And this 'everyone' are married and have known they were ready to be parents for a long time. A baby will complete them. I don't see how it would complete us."
"I didn't think I was either, but it got me off that night," Maddy said with a shrug. She kicked her legs out restlessly before she was on her feet and pacing. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't--are we complete? Have you got everything you want out of this?"
Remy sighed. "I don't want anything out of it," he told her and gestured with his hands. "That seems to be the difference here. I live for the moment and whatever comes with that moment. I wouldn't even know what I'm supposed to want out of it."
"Flynn goes moment to moment, but he'd be happy with kids. And he'd be happy without them. I think I would be, too. But every time I think we're all on the same page something happens and I get lost. I just want us to be us."
"This is your something, cherie. I never seem to realise we aren't on the same page. I go along thinking everything's okay and the next thing I know I'm in the middle of a yelling match or an intervention. I've just been being me from day one, even if I lost it for awhile there when I was hurt." Remy shook his head. "I'm operating on a different satellite to you and Flynn, I think."
Madison came back to sit down next to him and looked at Remy. "But why? I don't want us on different satellites, I want us on the same satellite. I don't know why I can't just... because it's you. I want you. I want him. I want us. I don't get it."
"Because I'm different," Remy said in frustration. "I don't understand why we can't just keep going like we were at the start. Why does everything always have to keep changing? I was sticking around because I thought you were okay with me still being me like it was agreed at the start, but it doesn't seem to be happening like that. Everything has to be exclusive or married or babies. Which you can have with Flynn. You can. It won't stop me feeling the way I do about you both, I just need to still be me."
"I don't want to go back to stripping, I like my shop. But I do want us to be us again, like it was." Madison shifted onto his lap, the petite brunette straddling him. "Explain to me how you can still be you if I have married with babies with Flynn... but you don't want to donate sperm or be around a kid."
Remy just gave a slight smile before his expression went back to calm. "Because I've seen how much a baby changes lives. For the better, if you want them. If you don't... you just don't. You can have the sperm if you want to get married and raise kids with Flynn, but it's not the life I want to live."
"Would you still be there for us? Would you still love us? Fuck us?" Again, in her mind, it came back down to the ultimatum of having one but not the other.
"Right now? In the near furture? Probably not," Remy had to admit honestly. "I don't know if it will change in a few years time, but I know I'm not ready for that sort of thing in my life right now."
Madison gave a nod, and leaned in to kiss him, tasting the dope and nicotine on his lips. "Then we'll worry about it then. I'm not in a rush, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head." She wrapped her arms around his neck as she shifted in his lap, subconsciously seeking friction. "Maybe now it's all talked about it'll go away and I'll stop being a pain in your ass."
Remy looked up at her uncertainly. "Can you at least understand why I feel differently?" he asked her.
Maddy nodded as she kissed him again. "Yes, I can. And I'm sorry I keep being a bitch. I don't mean to be. Just sometimes I need to think with my mouth, and not my head because it drives me crazy having the thoughts run around inside there with no outlet. I just want to go back to not thinking."
"Just know I'm here, okay? When I'm not, I'm still coming back. If I don't come back, I'll tell you I'm not. Until then, I'm here. I like what we have, but just I need my freedom, mon amour. Without it, I can never keep coming back," Remy told her, searching her eyes with his own red ones.
Madison held his face in her hands, keeping his gaze. "Then you need to stay you, because I want you to keep coming back. I do love you, Gorgeous." She pressed a kiss to the spot under his eye and pulled back with a smirk. "Think they'd mind if we used one of their spare rooms?"
Remy smirked. "Anything without pink and I'm all yours."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 2,159
| Gossip Girl
Co-written with canmakeufeel
[Follows THIS and THIS]
Madison had taken everything Flynn had told her, and after their brief cuddle, she'd jumped into his car and made the drive to Princeton. She could have taken her own, but the truth was she needed a bit of Flynn to make the trip with her. She couldn't even really pinpoint when the nesting thoughts had really started, but the truth was she figured she'd always wanted a family with Flynn at least. He was her other half, body and soul. Had been since they'd met. He'd just always been accepting that she'd probably get snapped up by some other guy, and willing to slide back into a best friend role.
Then Remy had come along, and Remy had let her and Flynn be everything they ever wanted and more with him. He was a third piece to the puzzle that fit, even if it wasn't always a smooth fit. And lately without sex in the equation, they'd all been left with their own thoughts and given time to talk about things. Their relationship had evolved, but still Remy wasn't one to settle.
And Maddy knew that, and she was okay with that. But she also needed to talk to him about sperm and children, and the thoughts that wouldn't leave her alone. She pulled into Rogue and Chase's driveway, remembering that Remy said he'd be on Daisy duty. She knocked softly on the door as she tried the handle, and found it open to her surprise.
She also found Remy in the lounge room, staring at nothing in particular. "You do realise that dog-sitting usually involves a dog of some description?" Maddy looked around trying to see Daisy, but the excitable puppy was nowhere to be seen.
Remy was shirtless, just in jeans, as he indulged in a cigarette with his feet up on the coffee table. He turned to look at Maddy with a smirk, not particularly surprised to see her. She had said she would come at some point. "She's camped out in the bebe's room and seemingly happy to be. It suits us both. We have an agreement." The smoke went back to his lips, but he was watching her over the top of it. "To what do I owe the pleasure, mon amour?"
Maddy dropped her bag on a chair as she hovered uncertainly, not sure if she should sit next to him or not. Since he was shirtless, her need to talk to him might get pushed aside in favour of groping him. She did the smart thing and perched herself on one of the other chairs, hands clasped in her lap. "We need to talk about sperm," Maddy said, figuring there was no point in indulging in small talk. She needed this over with before her heart decided to burst out of her chest.
Remy blinked and blew the smoke out slowly, head tilting a little at the comment. "Aren't mommies and daddies supposed to get this chat out of the way when you're, oh, twelve?" he asked in amusement.
Maddy rolled her eyes playfully and smirked. "It's not that kind of sperm chat. But funny you should mention mommies and daddies."
This caused Remy to sit up a little straighter and look at her warily. "Whose mommies and daddies?" he asked uncertainly, the smoke left for the moment to burn down a little between his fingers.
Maddy looked away, and tried to work out the best way to phrase what she needed to tell him without sending the usually cool Cajun into a panic. "I... well, all these babies and weddings happening, and I guess... well, I guess I'm not as immune to thoughts of babies like I thought. Lately it's been something that's been playing on my mind, and I was talking with Flynn about it. We--well, if he wasn't infertile, I think children is something we'd be doing now."
"Right now?" Remy asked, the frown still staying settled on his forehead. He briefly wondered if Chase had any joints stashed anywhere because he could really use one right about now.
She gave a shake of her head. "No, not right now. Just... soon. Eventually. Maybe?" She shifted to go to her bag and pulled out a little plastic bag with a couple of joints in it. Apparently she was getting to know Remy pretty well. "Sorry it's not me naked and covered in coke. But I figured it would be an okay bribe given we're in someone else's house."
Remy's red eyes shifted to the plastic bag and he raised an eyebrow. He didn't protest, though. He took it and pulled one of the joints out to light it up. "You want my sperm," he deduced before inhaling slowly and letting the marijuana give him just a slightly stronger hit than a smoke normally would.
"Yes," Maddy replied, daring to sit next to Remy. He was hot even when he smoked a joint. It was the mouth. And those eyes. "But not if you feel like I'm trying to take something you can't offer. Or force you into a position you don't want to be in. Flynn said... well, he said we'd be able to apply for an external sperm donor if it came to that. Just that you should know. Truth is, I don't want an external one. I want you. I want something that belongs to the three of us. I'm not asking you to settle, or anything like that."
Remy wet his lips, listening to her closely. "You do realise this isn't shopping for lingerie, mon belle."
Madison arched an eyebrow. "Of course, I do."
"Are you sure you aren't just caught up in everything that's going on?" Remy asked, settling back into the chair.
"I felt this way at Christmas before Tara popped... If it was just that I'd have been over it." Maddy rest her head in her hand as she braced her elbow against the back of the sofa. "It wouldn't be a solid want that's lasted for three months if it was just that."
Remy was quiet and took a slow drag on the joint. "I don't want kids, amour. I never really have," he told her, watching her closely. "I've never really even liked them or know what to do with them. There is no desire for parenthood there."
"Even if me and Flynn took all the responsibility?" Maddy asked, trying to keep her face straight. There was a flicker of disappointment, but it was more because she'd been trying to keep it all in their dysfunctional family. She didn't want some stranger's sperm.
Remy's eyes narrowed a little as he tried to wrap his head all around it. This really wasn't how he imagined his lazy arse Saturday to pan out. "You think it's just as easy as me shooting my load into you? You don't think children is going to change absolutely everything?" he asked, wondering why he was the only one in the world it seemed right now who didn't want to deal with shit filled diapers.
Madison shrugged helplessly as she turned to face forward. "Yeah... I guess. Shit, I don't know. I don't fucking know anything anymore other than I miss my boys and everyone's having fucking babies, and suddenly I was wanting babies and Flynn's infertile, but alive and I am so goddamn horny, and I maybe had this fucked up fantasy involving pregnant sex and gah," she finished inelegantly as she threw her arms up and let them drop against her thighs.
Remy's nose screwed up. "I'm not really into pregnant sex, amour," he told her. Maybe it would change if he had to directly deal with it, but until he did, it was definitely not his cup of tea. "And this 'everyone' are married and have known they were ready to be parents for a long time. A baby will complete them. I don't see how it would complete us."
"I didn't think I was either, but it got me off that night," Maddy said with a shrug. She kicked her legs out restlessly before she was on her feet and pacing. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't--are we complete? Have you got everything you want out of this?"
Remy sighed. "I don't want anything out of it," he told her and gestured with his hands. "That seems to be the difference here. I live for the moment and whatever comes with that moment. I wouldn't even know what I'm supposed to want out of it."
"Flynn goes moment to moment, but he'd be happy with kids. And he'd be happy without them. I think I would be, too. But every time I think we're all on the same page something happens and I get lost. I just want us to be us."
"This is your something, cherie. I never seem to realise we aren't on the same page. I go along thinking everything's okay and the next thing I know I'm in the middle of a yelling match or an intervention. I've just been being me from day one, even if I lost it for awhile there when I was hurt." Remy shook his head. "I'm operating on a different satellite to you and Flynn, I think."
Madison came back to sit down next to him and looked at Remy. "But why? I don't want us on different satellites, I want us on the same satellite. I don't know why I can't just... because it's you. I want you. I want him. I want us. I don't get it."
"Because I'm different," Remy said in frustration. "I don't understand why we can't just keep going like we were at the start. Why does everything always have to keep changing? I was sticking around because I thought you were okay with me still being me like it was agreed at the start, but it doesn't seem to be happening like that. Everything has to be exclusive or married or babies. Which you can have with Flynn. You can. It won't stop me feeling the way I do about you both, I just need to still be me."
"I don't want to go back to stripping, I like my shop. But I do want us to be us again, like it was." Madison shifted onto his lap, the petite brunette straddling him. "Explain to me how you can still be you if I have married with babies with Flynn... but you don't want to donate sperm or be around a kid."
Remy just gave a slight smile before his expression went back to calm. "Because I've seen how much a baby changes lives. For the better, if you want them. If you don't... you just don't. You can have the sperm if you want to get married and raise kids with Flynn, but it's not the life I want to live."
"Would you still be there for us? Would you still love us? Fuck us?" Again, in her mind, it came back down to the ultimatum of having one but not the other.
"Right now? In the near furture? Probably not," Remy had to admit honestly. "I don't know if it will change in a few years time, but I know I'm not ready for that sort of thing in my life right now."
Madison gave a nod, and leaned in to kiss him, tasting the dope and nicotine on his lips. "Then we'll worry about it then. I'm not in a rush, I just needed to get the thoughts out of my head." She wrapped her arms around his neck as she shifted in his lap, subconsciously seeking friction. "Maybe now it's all talked about it'll go away and I'll stop being a pain in your ass."
Remy looked up at her uncertainly. "Can you at least understand why I feel differently?" he asked her.
Maddy nodded as she kissed him again. "Yes, I can. And I'm sorry I keep being a bitch. I don't mean to be. Just sometimes I need to think with my mouth, and not my head because it drives me crazy having the thoughts run around inside there with no outlet. I just want to go back to not thinking."
"Just know I'm here, okay? When I'm not, I'm still coming back. If I don't come back, I'll tell you I'm not. Until then, I'm here. I like what we have, but just I need my freedom, mon amour. Without it, I can never keep coming back," Remy told her, searching her eyes with his own red ones.
Madison held his face in her hands, keeping his gaze. "Then you need to stay you, because I want you to keep coming back. I do love you, Gorgeous." She pressed a kiss to the spot under his eye and pulled back with a smirk. "Think they'd mind if we used one of their spare rooms?"
Remy smirked. "Anything without pink and I'm all yours."
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 2,159