Hamlet 2000
I like how when I post about having seen a film of Hamlet, I have to use at least five tags to cover all the categories that falls into. Ah, me. Anyway...
So those who have read my earler posts about Hamlets on film will know that I originally had... a slight aversion to this particular film, for a reason I'm not entirely sure of anymore. I eventually overcame that, but never really got around to watching it, because it's not on youtube and... I'm lazy. Anyway, some outstanding thoughts:
-Oh my god, Horatio is REALLY HOT. Like, dayum.
-Why does "Marcella" exist, again? IDGI. That is as bad as, if not worse than, giving Cassius a girlfriend. Cinna or Trebonia or... some shit. Which has actually happened. Twice, that I've read of. This is terrible. If you are going to transgender someone to make them someone else's girlfriend, at least do it right, okay? Everyone got that? Good. Now settle down, kids, and we'll all watch Fodor's Hamlet to drive the point home.
-Speaking of Horatio, where the hell is his accent from?
-SPEAKING OF Horatio's accent, I thought it was kind of cute that he was British (or... whatever he was), because I like the idea of Hamlet going over to Wittenberg in Europe, meeting Horatio there, and then Horatio coming back with him to America. Aww. <3
-Oh, Polonius family, why are you so awkward? Laertes/Ophelia virginity conversations and intimate hugs DO NOT WANT.
-Okay, the Ghost is just fantastically creepy. I would put him somewhere between Scott's ghost and... hmm... Tennant's, maybe? The handkerchief to his ear omfg
-Ewwww Polonius gets shot in the eye and his brains are on the floor. But wouldn't it be awesome if he was stabbed through the curtain in the eye? Like, it could be two curtains (as in a window), and he'd just get stabbed through the crack between them - of course he's looking through the crack - and then he comes out with the dagger sticking out of his eye. Y/Y? I think my morbid Hamlet ideas are totally excellent, no judging me.
-Also, at some point there needs to be a Hamlet who either stabs Claudius in the ear or pours the wine in his ear. Maybe he just wounds him a tiny bit with the sword, or doesn't even break the skin - just pokes him in the arm, or something - and then he pours the wine in his ear and it kills him like THAT. Because it was the same poison that he used on Hamlet Sr. Because I like the idea that Claudius uses the same poison for both... poisonings. Uncle Claudius' All-Purpose Poison! I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Why would the juice suddenly become a pearl, though? Maybe he boiled it down? I'm thinking about this too much.
-This song, apparently, was in the movie, and it's worth embedding here just because of the painting in the beginning of the video:
Look at Hamlet and his sexy lounging. Lol, oh Hamlet, u so ~saucy
-Aww, Hamlet/Guildenstern snuggling <3.
-Guys, Rosnguil are totes a gay couple, ok?
-Hamlet as Claudius' limo driver during the prayer scene. THAT IS SO BRILLIANT. It's a shame they took out now might I do it pat, but I can forgive them.
-The play within a play was pretty awesome. And lol, I love Hamlet putting himself as "Prince of Denmark" even though you can't be "prince" of a corporation. XD
-Where the hell did Laertes come from? He just sort of appears halfway through what seems to be the afterparty of Polonius' funeral. And his rebellion isn't "giantlike" at all, he's just pissed. I mean, they could at least have given him a couple of angry shareholders or something, amirite?
-HAMLET AND HORATIO ON A MOTORCYCLE. Awwwww <3.
-speaking of Hamlet/Horatio, I think I heard somewhere that this Hamlet was one of the slashier ones, which it basically wasn't. I think this pair were more bros than anything else.
-Hey, no fair, Laertes got a gun! Cheating!
-oh my god, GERTRUDE. She knew exactly what the fuck was up with that poison. She actually pushed Claudius + the cup aside to wipe Hamlet's brows.
-I should probably mention Julia Stiles somewhere here. Hi Julia. I don't like your character's taste in pants.
-I started crying a little when Horatio helped Hamlet up so he could shoot Claudius. That's a true friend right there.
-SO MUCH HAMLET/LAERTES SUBTEXT. At Ophelia's funeral, they fight a little bit and roll down a hill together, then Laertes straddles and starts strangling Hamlet (which probably signifies something sexual), before rolling off him, seemingly exhausted. Right. And then they're pretty much cuddling as they lie bleeding on the floor (hey, death=orgasm!).
-My icon is basically unrelated, I just like it a lot.
-THE HAT. whyyyyyy
-EDIT: Oh, snap! My icon IS related! YAY CLAUDIUS/HAMLET BOYKISSING!
-EDIT II: The date in my title is apparently 9 years late. *hangs head* I R GUD WIT NUMBERS. Well, it says 2000 now, anyway.
So those who have read my earler posts about Hamlets on film will know that I originally had... a slight aversion to this particular film, for a reason I'm not entirely sure of anymore. I eventually overcame that, but never really got around to watching it, because it's not on youtube and... I'm lazy. Anyway, some outstanding thoughts:
-Oh my god, Horatio is REALLY HOT. Like, dayum.
-Why does "Marcella" exist, again? IDGI. That is as bad as, if not worse than, giving Cassius a girlfriend. Cinna or Trebonia or... some shit. Which has actually happened. Twice, that I've read of. This is terrible. If you are going to transgender someone to make them someone else's girlfriend, at least do it right, okay? Everyone got that? Good. Now settle down, kids, and we'll all watch Fodor's Hamlet to drive the point home.
-Speaking of Horatio, where the hell is his accent from?
-SPEAKING OF Horatio's accent, I thought it was kind of cute that he was British (or... whatever he was), because I like the idea of Hamlet going over to Wittenberg in Europe, meeting Horatio there, and then Horatio coming back with him to America. Aww. <3
-Oh, Polonius family, why are you so awkward? Laertes/Ophelia virginity conversations and intimate hugs DO NOT WANT.
-Okay, the Ghost is just fantastically creepy. I would put him somewhere between Scott's ghost and... hmm... Tennant's, maybe? The handkerchief to his ear omfg
-Ewwww Polonius gets shot in the eye and his brains are on the floor. But wouldn't it be awesome if he was stabbed through the curtain in the eye? Like, it could be two curtains (as in a window), and he'd just get stabbed through the crack between them - of course he's looking through the crack - and then he comes out with the dagger sticking out of his eye. Y/Y? I think my morbid Hamlet ideas are totally excellent, no judging me.
-Also, at some point there needs to be a Hamlet who either stabs Claudius in the ear or pours the wine in his ear. Maybe he just wounds him a tiny bit with the sword, or doesn't even break the skin - just pokes him in the arm, or something - and then he pours the wine in his ear and it kills him like THAT. Because it was the same poison that he used on Hamlet Sr. Because I like the idea that Claudius uses the same poison for both... poisonings. Uncle Claudius' All-Purpose Poison! I don't know what I'm saying anymore. Why would the juice suddenly become a pearl, though? Maybe he boiled it down? I'm thinking about this too much.
-This song, apparently, was in the movie, and it's worth embedding here just because of the painting in the beginning of the video:
Click to viewLook at Hamlet and his sexy lounging. Lol, oh Hamlet, u so ~saucy
-Aww, Hamlet/Guildenstern snuggling <3.
-Guys, Rosnguil are totes a gay couple, ok?
-Hamlet as Claudius' limo driver during the prayer scene. THAT IS SO BRILLIANT. It's a shame they took out now might I do it pat, but I can forgive them.
-The play within a play was pretty awesome. And lol, I love Hamlet putting himself as "Prince of Denmark" even though you can't be "prince" of a corporation. XD
-Where the hell did Laertes come from? He just sort of appears halfway through what seems to be the afterparty of Polonius' funeral. And his rebellion isn't "giantlike" at all, he's just pissed. I mean, they could at least have given him a couple of angry shareholders or something, amirite?
-HAMLET AND HORATIO ON A MOTORCYCLE. Awwwww <3.
-speaking of Hamlet/Horatio, I think I heard somewhere that this Hamlet was one of the slashier ones, which it basically wasn't. I think this pair were more bros than anything else.
-Hey, no fair, Laertes got a gun! Cheating!
-oh my god, GERTRUDE. She knew exactly what the fuck was up with that poison. She actually pushed Claudius + the cup aside to wipe Hamlet's brows.
-I should probably mention Julia Stiles somewhere here. Hi Julia. I don't like your character's taste in pants.
-I started crying a little when Horatio helped Hamlet up so he could shoot Claudius. That's a true friend right there.
-SO MUCH HAMLET/LAERTES SUBTEXT. At Ophelia's funeral, they fight a little bit and roll down a hill together, then Laertes straddles and starts strangling Hamlet (which probably signifies something sexual), before rolling off him, seemingly exhausted. Right. And then they're pretty much cuddling as they lie bleeding on the floor (hey, death=orgasm!).
-My icon is basically unrelated, I just like it a lot.
-THE HAT. whyyyyyy
-EDIT: Oh, snap! My icon IS related! YAY CLAUDIUS/HAMLET BOYKISSING!
-EDIT II: The date in my title is apparently 9 years late. *hangs head* I R GUD WIT NUMBERS. Well, it says 2000 now, anyway.