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murf1307 August 25 2010, 04:43:09 UTC
*smacks face* God, I hate allegory. Symbolism I can do; I love symbolism; but this? NO. JUST NO.

I'm haven't even *read* all the way through Hamlet and I know that's a load of bull. DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH GOOD SIR BEFORE YOU LET STRANGE SENSELESS THINGS FALL FROM THY LIPS.

APOLLO IS THE KING OF HELL? DOOD, I WANT TO SEE THE MUSHROOM SAMBA YOU WENT ON TO COME UP WITH THAT. Seriously, that must have been some baaaad acid this guy dropped.

And, dude, no. Brutus' first name is MARCUS. This fucker needs to at least go read Wikipedia, god.

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dontcrosscross August 25 2010, 06:08:53 UTC
Ooh! You should totally read Hamlet, bb, it's full of delicious MANLY FRIENDSHIP, and by MANLY FRIENDSHIP I mean pretty-boy scholars in the closet, awkwardly expressing love for each other.

...Which I think is about the cutest way I've ever described the Hamlet-Horatio relationship. Huh.

And this exchange from above works pretty well as a reply here:

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN POLONIUS ISN'T GOD? IT ALWAYS SEEMED SO OBVIOUS TO ME!" "OH OF COURSE! AND HE IS ALSO KINDA SYMBOLIC OF JULIUS CAESAR, WHO IS ALSO JESUS, WHO IS LAERTES, BUT JULIUS CAESAR WAS ALSO APPARENTLY FROM THE CLAUDIAN FAMILY, WHICH IS CLAUDIUS, SO... wait... what?"

TARQUIN IS THE HOLY GHOST, TOTALLY CALLING THIS. Lucretia is symbolic of... um... all those non-believers who couldn't handle His heavenly penis. *headdesk* DAMMIT ESSAY, NOW LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME SAY.

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murf1307 August 25 2010, 06:14:28 UTC
Lol, I just love MANLY FRIENDSHIPS. *giggle* Why else would I be a K/S shipper, an Alex/Heph geek, and into Shakespeare?

*stares at Tarquin paragraph* So, uh, God is Fred Phelps? With a dash of Jack the Ripper? And he's a rapist? Good God I'm headed straight to hell. But hey, if Phelps is God, I'd rather burn in hell than be anywhere near that narrow-minded hateful son of a bitch.

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dontcrosscross August 25 2010, 06:18:14 UTC
MANLY FRIENDSHIPS: TOTALLY AWESOME UNTIL YOU REALIZE THEY'RE TOTALLY GAY, AT WHICH POINT THEY EITHER GET REALLY HOT OR REALLY AWKWARD.

Nonono, Polonius is God, remember?

...

...I don't understand what I just wrote.

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murf1307 August 25 2010, 06:37:12 UTC
EXTREME CONFUSION ALL AROUND.

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dontcrosscross August 25 2010, 14:41:12 UTC
SEXUAL CONFUSION?

THE BEST KIND.

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