fandom_muses :: September :: Britney

[dontcallmekitty]

I don't like defining myself. I just am. - Britney Spears

I haven't quit working at the record shop - mostly because the employee discount is pretty nice. But, today I went digging through the bad 90's pop albums, like I do, and I decided to stop my boy band marathon week... I found something much better - well, worse actually, dependin' on how

Comments

[mutha_flippin]

I bet it was me you heard in the coffee shop. I'm in a band. And I do believe Britney needs reviving, yeh.

[dontcallmekitty]

Probably. You look like the artsy band type. I don't know if Ms. Spears can be revived. Her new single? Gimme More? It doesn't make any sense. What does she want more of?

[mutha_flippin]

More sanity that she lost somewhere along the way?

And I'm not artsy. Just in a band. Art breaks up bands. I'd tell you to go ask John Lennon but he's dead.

[dontcallmekitty]

Was she ever sane?

If you're in a band that plays in a coffee shop? You're artsy. Deal with it.

[mutha_flippin]

I'm sure she had one sane moment in her entire life. Everyone has one.

Actually, a coffee shop is too good for us. I was trying to say that to impress you. We play at gigs that nobody shows up to like at the Travel Agent Fair.

[dontcallmekitty]

I haven't had one yet. I've heard about sane moments though. They sound like fun.

Seriously, have you heard the stuff played in coffee shops? If a coffee shop is too good for you, then I feel bad for the people who were supposed to go to the Travel Agent Fair. Sorry that your band sucks!

[mutha_flippin]

They're not all they're cracked up to be. I tend to push them out of my head at times.

No I haven't, I'm too broke for those places. I won't lie to you anymore, our band does suck. So does our manager. I'm good though. You should give me a try. In bed.

[dontcallmekitty]

Seriously?

Well, you should work at one then, because work leads to money, money leads to not-broke, and not-broke leads to you having a shot. Because, really, if you're broke and your band sucks, then what exactly is the attraction factor here? A random guy who needs a financially stable one-night-stand? ...yeah, no.

[mutha_flippin]

I can't get gigs if I have a job! I need to be available for what comes my way. Bret has a job though.

How can I not have the attraction factor? I'm from New Zealand. Girls like foreign accents. I have nice hair. And I like sandwiches.

Did I mention that I can lift a house?

[dontcallmekitty]

Wow, really? Um, I have two jobs, and I slay vampires. I have a stake and everything. I'm super strong and agile and stuff. It's pretty nifty.

Who's Bret? Your hetero-life-mate? And, if your only gigs so far have been at places like the Travel Agent Fair? Then, I feel pretty certain they ain't going to be knockin' down your door or anything.

[mutha_flippin]

Yeah yeah, it all looks good on paper until there's a need for a handsome musician who is really good at paintball and likes ducks. Then you call me. On my cameraphone.

He's my bandmate. And they could be, nobody knows about us yet. That's the publicity department's problem. We don't pay our manager to be lazy.

[dontcallmekitty]

I like paintball. But, how do you afford the cameraphone if you're broke? I'm not broke, but my Mama's nice and pays for my phone.

Oh. Right. Your manager sucks. I work at a record store. They do recordings upstairs sometimes. You should come over. My boss might not think you suck.

[mutha_flippin]

Well, Bret's job helps pay for a lot of things and we do get some gigs from time to time. And we've sold t-shirts. If I really wanted to I'm sure I could ask this woman Mel for money. She's a bit of a stalker who follows the band and always says she'd do anything for us. Bit creepy really.

He does! What record store do you work at? I'd like to try that out sometime. Obviously your boss has good taste if he hired a beautiful girl like you.

[dontcallmekitty]

I want a t-shirt. Can I have one?

It's in LA. Are you in New Zealand?

Oh, see, now you're being all kinds of sweet. Is it for the band? Or do you really think I'm pretty?

[mutha_flippin]

Well, I'd prefer that you paid for one rather than just having the shirt. We need to make a profit you know. And we have mousepads, but no one likes them. It was Bret's idea.

No, we've moved to a flat in New York. At least that is in the same country as you, yeh?

You being pretty has nothing to do with the band. Of course I think you're attractive or I wouldn't have said it.