And I'm due for a miracle, I'm waiting for a sign
Just one day I'd like to be beautiful. Could you possible do that for me? I want to go one day without feeling fat or ugly, stupid or annoying. I would like to go one day when they will notice me, one day where my friend doesn't make me feel like I'm such a goddamn sinner, where I can pass a test, get an A in English, have perfect white teeth, have the perfect body. Just one day. Is that too much to ask? I hate asking for things, because I know that I should be grateful for what I have, but how can I be grateful when she always puts me down? She doesn't need words, it's all in her actions. Never once have I been called beautiful or skinny or smart by my so called best friend. Never once have I felt like I've been wanted by her. Never once have I felt the love when she says Iloveyou when we have to stop talking to each other. It's always about her. How she is, how she's feeling, who she likes, how good she looks. To me she doesn't look good at all. To me she just looks selfish. To me she just looks like she has Cancer or something. I say that I miss having a boyfriend, then she'll rub in my face the mistake I made with the last one, way back in the 4th grade. I'll tell her that I like someone, and she'll like them, and it makes me feel like with one snap of her finger, he'll be wrapped up in her. I don't want that to happen. I want to be beautiful. I wish I was beautiful. I wish I felt like everyone loved me. That I actually mattered. It's these damn mood swings that I hate. That I hate about myself. Somedays I'm in this perfect mood and then one thing can set me off, one thing can almost make me cry. That one thing is Hannah. How come I feel so shitty around her, how come I always just feel that negative energy just RADIATING off of her? People say that she's not good for me, and I never believed them.
Until now.
I want to change. Can I change?
I miss Paige...:(...she doesn't have time for me, she's got a boyfriend. Good for her:).
♥. I'm pouring mine out.
Until now.
I want to change. Can I change?
I miss Paige...:(...she doesn't have time for me, she's got a boyfriend. Good for her:).
♥. I'm pouring mine out.