start everything as though you're mid-conversation

[dontbeacunt]

it never gets perfect...that's the whole point. you can find the times when you feel the most complete, and feel like adding anything would detract from the subjective feeling you get from putting the pieces together the way you have and realizing that there are cracks for things to fall through, but not being constantly afraid that they will. that's about as close as you can get. but perfect? 'fraid not. in the same respect, it's not a bad thing. it's worse to fool yourself into thinking that nothing will break what you've got, and your life isn't shatterproof. me, i'm finding that happy medium between waiting for the bottom to drop out and waiting for something else to hold the bottom in place forever. i used to think anything good that other people had was a constant reminder that it was missing from my life, but i can't do that anymore. someone else's good fortune isn't a reminder for me, it's something bigger than that. most people have that selfish way of reducing everything in the universe to something that directly correlates to them. but they're all just smaller pixels in a bigger image that's relative to everything else.

oh, and things change. there's an overwhelming sense of permanence that comes with the gain or loss of anything worth it, but that's not always true. somewhere in the middle of being on your toes and on your ass...[on your fucking knees, whore!] shapes shift and weeds tumble and until then we're all just waiting for the next big thing....