Not home yet.

[dontask_pcandy]

Well, the next time I drop my phone down the toilet as I'm being sick I'd be flattered to come back to 105 messages and international concern about my whereabouts.  Thank you greatly folks. Seriously kind you are.

What happened:

Comments

[ask_captainjack]

ANDY, your travel writing is so eloquent you could be that woman who went Under the Tuscan Sun and found a man to marry!

Don't you worry about things in Cardiff.

In your honour Torchwood is handling the occasional petty infractions of the law you coppers are supposed to handle. When we stop minor non-world-destroying crimes we do it in your name.

I was striding down the street last night and came across two hoodies trying to steal a car. Well, I said: OI MATES, STOP IT OR WOTNOT! much like you would in that situation.

They waved knives (LOL!) and threatened me, claiming they were with the Big Tony crime syndicate and that if I messed with them Big Tony would cut my balls off.

How's that for silly? I handled them both toot sweet, using the space judo I learned in the Academy.

As I put a boot on one hoodie's neck, I hollered: "Tell Big Tony PC ANDY DAVIDSON SAYS FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE!"

[dontask_pcandy]

I am honoured to be impugned so readily. Next time tell them PC 147 said so, that's Gwen's old number...

[gwen_e_cooper]

Thanks, love.

Good thing I'm armed. :o)

[ask_captainjack]

I'm pretty sure Big Tony has heard of Gwen. I'm always seeing her name and number on the wall in various loos around Cardiff!

[dontask_pcandy]

You've been told before to stop writing it there.

[gwen_e_cooper]

Is Jack still doing that?

Yes, the expression on my face was a big LOL the first time someone rang, Jack.

The 20th time, it became less funny.

[ask_captainjack]

It will never NOT be a LOL, Gwen.

[gwen_e_cooper]

You just wait, Captain Jack Harkness.

One day, when you least expect it, you'll be punk'd and I'll LOL so hard I'll pee a little.

This is not a warning, though. Would I play a trick on Cardiff's best boss? I worship you!

:o)

[ask_captainjack]

OF COURSE YOU WORSHIP ME.

What's this about tricks?

You can't punk me, I'm still in recovery from April Fools. What happened to your "compassion" GWEN!

[gwen_e_cooper]

I am 99.999% compassionate!

But Jack, I'm locked in the Hub without Rhys (thus I am not getting any). I'm feverish and tired. (you fingered my head. As I was sleeping!)

I've had four G&Ts. You're dancing without moving your feet. Is it magic?

[ask_captainjack]

It is not magic. I'm starting to think there's alcohol in those gin and tonics, Gwen.

RHYS will be fine. I'll check on him tomorrow. I will put my nose up against your front door. If I smell "corpse" we'll know he's dead of flu.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

GWEN!

Comfort Zone. Over here! Biscuits and cushions and things. Also, lemsip for you.

[dontask_pcandy]

PARACETAMOL ON TOP OF ALCOHOL? THAT'S A BIG NO THERE.

[ask_aboutcoffee]

Helps with the hangover!

Trust me, I'm a butler.

[ask_arealdoctor]

And me, I'm a doctor! As long as she stays hydrated she'll be all right. After all, she's under constant supervision by a doctor and a butler!

[dontask_pcandy]

You don't watch ER regularly do you, or hang about in A&E a lot, DOCTOR?