Time is running out

May 16, 2005 20:02

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Sorry it's long. ______sailboats May 17 2005, 20:38:40 UTC
Christie, I love you.
But I agree with dein_schonheit to some extent.

After all this time, after so long trying to figure out what's making you so upset..I'd stop. I'd stop being perpetually sad. Don't surround yourself with people who bring you down. That was my problem. I was in counseling. I was messed up for 2 1/2 - 3 years. I don't like to tell people the extent of how bad things got because I have no reason other than myself and it makes me sound selfish. I was depending on countless people to say things, to make it feel like it was not me doing it to myself. They'd have things to blame it on for me. But after a while, people don't have anything else to say to you. After I left therapy, I just stopped. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I stopped doing all these things that I knew were bad for me. I stopped bringing myself down. Once you forget all the reasons people have given you, some you have given yourself, once you stop blaming things-you work up from there. You don't worry about things in your life that may go wrong. A bad test grade or something minor. You start to work on yourself. Sure, you're not always going to be happy but that's life. I break down. I get how I used to get. But not on such a regular basis. Not at all really anymore.

I'd say this is just growing up. But all the reasons behind it seem dumb coming for a teenagers mouth. I never got around to figuring out what was wrong with me - and I don't want to. If you focus on "why you're wrong" and "why you're always so depressed" you'll stay depressed and confused and scared. Forgetting about it is honestly what you have to do. Forgetting. But it's not as simple as people would think. Ya know?

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