nice girls = prudes
This is for
all of the girls who went to the prom with their best girl friend so she didn’t
have to go alone. This is for all of the
girls who went to the prom with their best guy friend so he didn’t have to tell
anyone he was gay. This for all of the
girls who went to the prom with their crush only to watch him dance every slow
dance with his ex-girlfriend.
For the girls always stuck holding someone’s hair while they puke. And for the girls who get teased into consuming too many jello shots. For the sober girl who drives all the drunken idiots home - I’d like to apologize for everyone who ever spilt beer on your shoes, myself included.
This is for the night that your dog died, when you called your crush to talk and he ended up unloading on you about some girl that didn’t deserve him. This is for all of you that would never have the nerve to call your crush in the first place.
I’d like to extend a hug and a big thank-you to every girl who talked to the cops and promised to tell the band to keep the noise down because no one else was coherent enough to do it. Also, I’m sorry that the lead singer didn’t ask your name when you delivered the message. And I’m sorry his girlfriend threatened to kick your ass and told everyone you have herpes.
This is to announce that she really doesn’t have herpes.
For every girl who stands in line outside of clubs she doesn’t really want to go to with friends who make fun of her only to fend off creeps who “discretely” grab her assets once she’s inside - please grow some balls and get some new friends.
Seriously.
No one is making you the designated push-over except for you. Making other people happy is GREAT most of the time, but sometimes, you need to look out for yourself. Take your gay friend to the prom - beautiful, sweet, fine - but ask someone OTHER than a girl to dance!
You don’t have to play police when your friends want to drink. If you want to drink, secure a taxi. If you don’t like to drink, go to a coffee shop. Talk to people in your Anthropology class. Not everyone in the world is getting plastered and getting vertical on Friday night. If this is not your scene, then stop putting yourself there.
Life is not a dream that you must wander helplessly through - allowing things to happen to you. If you’re tired of being a doormat then STAND UP. Sure, you’ll have to leave your comfort zone a little. Sure, you may even make people mad. But so fucking what? Life is too short to need articles that say “hang in there, don’t quit being a sweetheart!” to justify your actions.
In conclusion, thank you for all of the little things you do that allow people like me to live recklessly. But if you’re going to bitch about it, quit doing it. If the world falls to pieces in the absence of your altruism, I’ll take the blame.
For the girls always stuck holding someone’s hair while they puke. And for the girls who get teased into consuming too many jello shots. For the sober girl who drives all the drunken idiots home - I’d like to apologize for everyone who ever spilt beer on your shoes, myself included.
This is for the night that your dog died, when you called your crush to talk and he ended up unloading on you about some girl that didn’t deserve him. This is for all of you that would never have the nerve to call your crush in the first place.
I’d like to extend a hug and a big thank-you to every girl who talked to the cops and promised to tell the band to keep the noise down because no one else was coherent enough to do it. Also, I’m sorry that the lead singer didn’t ask your name when you delivered the message. And I’m sorry his girlfriend threatened to kick your ass and told everyone you have herpes.
This is to announce that she really doesn’t have herpes.
For every girl who stands in line outside of clubs she doesn’t really want to go to with friends who make fun of her only to fend off creeps who “discretely” grab her assets once she’s inside - please grow some balls and get some new friends.
Seriously.
No one is making you the designated push-over except for you. Making other people happy is GREAT most of the time, but sometimes, you need to look out for yourself. Take your gay friend to the prom - beautiful, sweet, fine - but ask someone OTHER than a girl to dance!
You don’t have to play police when your friends want to drink. If you want to drink, secure a taxi. If you don’t like to drink, go to a coffee shop. Talk to people in your Anthropology class. Not everyone in the world is getting plastered and getting vertical on Friday night. If this is not your scene, then stop putting yourself there.
Life is not a dream that you must wander helplessly through - allowing things to happen to you. If you’re tired of being a doormat then STAND UP. Sure, you’ll have to leave your comfort zone a little. Sure, you may even make people mad. But so fucking what? Life is too short to need articles that say “hang in there, don’t quit being a sweetheart!” to justify your actions.
In conclusion, thank you for all of the little things you do that allow people like me to live recklessly. But if you’re going to bitch about it, quit doing it. If the world falls to pieces in the absence of your altruism, I’ll take the blame.