(no subject)
He fumbles wildly with a ring stuffed with five pounds worth of keys. Over and over he searches until finally finding the right match. Daylight and mist filter through as the dead air inside pulls in its first breath in ages. Shadows cast a haunting scene upon stacks of mildewed newspapers and books that have seem to have misplaced their worth. He stumbles over an overstuffed box with scribbles laid across the side in faded ink. Slowly and awkwardly, he makes his way to the back of the dimly lit room to a desk half-eaten by time. The swivel chair next to it still works as he spins closer to see, turning on the dirt-ridden gold lamp beside him. On top of the dusty surface, along with a littering of yellowed papers, stacks of notebooks, and ancient pens, sits a rather thick and rather green book. Curiosly untouched by normal weathering, it almost stands up in pride. He slides his hand across it, memories flooding his every brainwave. Carefully he turns the heavy cover to reveal a clean and snow-white page. Unblemished it shines, calling out to be written upon. His determined hand finds a working pen and begins to write...
Hello, it has been a long time. Well, not too long, but long enough apparently that the creative juices have become uncontrollable (see above). So many things, too many things, have happened since my last entry for them all to be chronicled correctly and in an interesting fashion. Therefore, I'll just fill you in on what's happening in the here and now.
I've played ping-pong with my attentiveness to God here recently. Falling in and out of sin, His Word, and worship has taken it's toll on my closeness with Him. I've learned to not let my sin hold me down with it's heavy hands of guilt. In the past, after a sin, I've retreated from Him, feeling unworthy. Now I know His desire is for me to face it, confess it, and move on. Sin has no power over me so why should I dwell in it, rehashing my inequity? Secondly, His Word, I've come to find, is a "lamp unto my feet." I stumble in the dark without it, and yearn for it during times of trouble. Many tragedies and heartache could be avoided if I only will cling to it. Lastly, To an outside third party, my own private worship would look almost non-existent. I have recently begun to come back to it with an honest heart. Before I had replaced my praises to Him with what I felt like listening to at the moment. What a waste! I am in such a debt to Him that it's a wonder that words of worship don't constatly dribble out of my mouth about my overflowing cup. I approach everyday as if the previous never existed, knowing full well that He has separted me from myself. I don't worry for tomorrow because it's not a certainty, and if it is given I consider it a gift. Today is all I have. This life is all I can give.
"When you're in love, no one can tell you you're in love. You just know it." From wherever that line came from (probably from some Disney movie...dork over here!), it certainly rings true right now. My heart has been captivated by someone for nearly a year and a half - 16 months to be exact - and I could not be happier. Every moment together is simply wonderful, and I look forward to the day when I can take care of her completely.
Time plays funny tricks on you, especially when you look over your shoulder at it. As a band, we've been without name, with name, and without once again. We've been a quartet, then a trio, quartet again, and now a trio again in need of being a quintet. We've been leaders of worship, entertainers, and have now found our spot again as pointers to the Throne Room. The future is unclear, but secure; scary, but exhilarating. We have come a long way and have forever to trek ahead of us.
In a strange turn of events, Josh, Cary, and I have decided to take a journey into the scary world of business - the video game business, specifically. eBay, that wonderful community of potential profit, has caught our attention, and our hope is that six months from now we'll be able to fully support ourselves, which is a completely plausible idea. Cary's sister's boyfriend supported himself for three years while in college, making around $500 a week! If we're smart about this, we could very well end up with our own booming virtual store. It's a risky and frightening endeavor, but one that seems to be worth the effort.
Well, to wrap things up - jio;a*wdjio fq23eioregkla-sd sdmfmss df90we0w2 !!! There, I think that about sums it up. Until next time...
...reading over his work, the now-author is happy with what occured on that once-white paper. "Until next time," he says, slowly returning the cover to its home and ending the session for the day, sure in his mind that he will return soon.