On Your Shore

[dont_assume]

I have been feeling really lonely lately. It's been hard to shake the feeling but I have been trying my best to look on the bright side. I feel like I am going through the motions of school because it is what I am supposed to do. I feel like I am attending UWM because it is convenient. I am missing old friends and I have been making new ones that I am unsure of. I have to be up by 7am for work at 9am but often these feelings of loneliness keep me up. Some events over the last week or two have resulted in me opening up and/or feeling extremely vulnerable and bare. I don't like feeling vulnerable and bare and I am struggling with not wanting to pull myself away from people. I guess I'm just in a funk and I am realizing that although I am meeting new people and making new friends, I don't know if they are the most truth worthy people nor would they be there if I really needed them.

I have been waiting to hear from you. Anything...to let me know that you are ok and that I am still in your thoughts. Alas, I am left with no words and I feel more lonely than I did before.

When did it become so difficult to meet people that didn't lie? When did it become so difficult for me to make friends? I feel like I am regressing. I hate that I told myself one thing yet I didn't listen and now I feel like shit. Oh well. This will pass. But for now, I am waiting for a phone call that will never be.

I am telling myself to let it go but I know deep down inside I am hurt and miss you terribly.