STOP THE GAMES!
Here's a story from my trip to Mount Pleasant, exaggerated and in Jeff LaMonde-facebook-photo-album-story-style (minus the photos)
Chapter I*
So I went to Game Stop with Jeff today to trade in some games and maybe buy one and when we walked in we saw this guy who look pretty bad-ass because he was bald or some shit and he just looked tough in general and he said "WTF IS UP MANS!?" and Jeff and I were like "HI d00d!" and he looked down at my crotch for a second then looked at my hand and saw my games and predicted "DO YOU WANNA MAKE A TRADE-IN TODAY MAN!?" (trade-in is gamer for when you trade something in) and I was like "WhyTF DO YOU THINK I BROUGHT THESE MFING GIZAMES IN BITACH!?" and he was like "SORRY IT'S COMPANY POLICY THAT WE ASK..." so I handed him the games and he was on the phone (probably with his hot gamer babe girl friend (but really it was a coworker)) but he multitasked and scanned my games and (totally sweet like) announced "SIXTEEN NINETY MAN!" and I was like "WHATEVS!" and he was like "DO YOU WANNA SHOP OR SOME SHIT, MAN!?" and I said "Actually, I would enjoy that very much, sirrah," and I went on my way as he caressed my vidya games like they were his offspring.*
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!
(cont...)
Chapter II
Jeff and I began to browse the store, and found ourselves disappointed at the selection. The rad-ass cashier guy who said "man" a lot was joined by a coworker. In the minutes to follow they began talking about a murder. Jeff and I soon realized that they were talking about "killing" in WoW (that's World of Warcraft, an MMORPG (that's a massively multiplayer role playing game for you n00bs), for you n00bs). I thought "Awesome, this guy isn't nearly as c00l as I thought he was (or was he?). Then we came across the XBox 360, punched two 9-year-olds in the face, then continued to punch each other in the face in Fight Night: Round 3. We tied. I went easy on him.*
When the fight was over, I looked to my right and noticed a sign which read "d00d, IF YOU FUCKING TRADE 5 GAMES AT A TIME, I WE WILL GIVE YOU TEN MORE FUCKING DOLLARS OR A RIM JOB!" After I peed everywhere, I looked at how many games I had brought in to trade.
There were 5.
Was I getting scammed!?
No I wasn't, he just forgot.
Chapter III*
So I walked up to the counter where my former idol was standing and said "HEY MAN, YOU READY TO SEAL THE DEAL, MAN!?" and I said "SPEAKING OF SEALING THE DEAL, THAT SIGN SAYS I GET A FREE RIM JOB. PAY UP."* He replied "MAN, WHAT ARE YOU, GAY OR SOMETHING?"* And I was all like "No...I guess I'll take the ten bucks..." So he was all like "SHIT, MAN, I FORGOT!!! YOU DO HAVE FIVE GAMES HERE, BUT THEY CAN'T BE SPORTS GAMES..." He examined my games. "IS GRAN TURISMO A SPORTS GAME?" "d00d, man, that's a judgment call, man d00d" encouraged his counterpart (get it, they were behind a counter...part!). "THIS MAN d00d IS AWESOME, I'LL LET HIM HAVE THE TEN BUCKS, MAN!"*
Resolution:
I got my new Wavebird wireless Game Cube controller for only ten bucks.
He didn't notice SSX Tricky (a snowboarding SPORTS game), which was sandwiched in my trade-in pile, as he was too busy decided whether GT3 was a sports game or not.
Game Stop, you just got pwned.
* = Sentences and/or paragraphs in which, if you were to ask Jeff, are complete and total lies, much like the entirety of this novella.
Chapter I*
So I went to Game Stop with Jeff today to trade in some games and maybe buy one and when we walked in we saw this guy who look pretty bad-ass because he was bald or some shit and he just looked tough in general and he said "WTF IS UP MANS!?" and Jeff and I were like "HI d00d!" and he looked down at my crotch for a second then looked at my hand and saw my games and predicted "DO YOU WANNA MAKE A TRADE-IN TODAY MAN!?" (trade-in is gamer for when you trade something in) and I was like "WhyTF DO YOU THINK I BROUGHT THESE MFING GIZAMES IN BITACH!?" and he was like "SORRY IT'S COMPANY POLICY THAT WE ASK..." so I handed him the games and he was on the phone (probably with his hot gamer babe girl friend (but really it was a coworker)) but he multitasked and scanned my games and (totally sweet like) announced "SIXTEEN NINETY MAN!" and I was like "WHATEVS!" and he was like "DO YOU WANNA SHOP OR SOME SHIT, MAN!?" and I said "Actually, I would enjoy that very much, sirrah," and I went on my way as he caressed my vidya games like they were his offspring.*
TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!!!!!!!!
(cont...)
Chapter II
Jeff and I began to browse the store, and found ourselves disappointed at the selection. The rad-ass cashier guy who said "man" a lot was joined by a coworker. In the minutes to follow they began talking about a murder. Jeff and I soon realized that they were talking about "killing" in WoW (that's World of Warcraft, an MMORPG (that's a massively multiplayer role playing game for you n00bs), for you n00bs). I thought "Awesome, this guy isn't nearly as c00l as I thought he was (or was he?). Then we came across the XBox 360, punched two 9-year-olds in the face, then continued to punch each other in the face in Fight Night: Round 3. We tied. I went easy on him.*
When the fight was over, I looked to my right and noticed a sign which read "d00d, IF YOU FUCKING TRADE 5 GAMES AT A TIME, I WE WILL GIVE YOU TEN MORE FUCKING DOLLARS OR A RIM JOB!" After I peed everywhere, I looked at how many games I had brought in to trade.
There were 5.
Was I getting scammed!?
No I wasn't, he just forgot.
Chapter III*
So I walked up to the counter where my former idol was standing and said "HEY MAN, YOU READY TO SEAL THE DEAL, MAN!?" and I said "SPEAKING OF SEALING THE DEAL, THAT SIGN SAYS I GET A FREE RIM JOB. PAY UP."* He replied "MAN, WHAT ARE YOU, GAY OR SOMETHING?"* And I was all like "No...I guess I'll take the ten bucks..." So he was all like "SHIT, MAN, I FORGOT!!! YOU DO HAVE FIVE GAMES HERE, BUT THEY CAN'T BE SPORTS GAMES..." He examined my games. "IS GRAN TURISMO A SPORTS GAME?" "d00d, man, that's a judgment call, man d00d" encouraged his counterpart (get it, they were behind a counter...part!). "THIS MAN d00d IS AWESOME, I'LL LET HIM HAVE THE TEN BUCKS, MAN!"*
Resolution:
I got my new Wavebird wireless Game Cube controller for only ten bucks.
He didn't notice SSX Tricky (a snowboarding SPORTS game), which was sandwiched in my trade-in pile, as he was too busy decided whether GT3 was a sports game or not.
Game Stop, you just got pwned.
* = Sentences and/or paragraphs in which, if you were to ask Jeff, are complete and total lies, much like the entirety of this novella.