Zen Baby
So i know i said i was going to post all my thoughts and everything...but that would take to long. But i will try to summerize everything.
So on my first day through my journey I focused on everything that made me mad. well here.....
Day 1- Mad
Day 2- Sad
Day 3- Irrationality
Day 4- Upset
Day 5- Rationality
Day 6- Fun
Day 7- Happy
Day 8- Excitement
Day 9- Stress Good and Bad
Day 10 (tomorrow)- Completeness
So through my journey I thought alot about alot. I have come to terms with alot like friends and people in general. I learned to just accept things and let life just flow. But one of the best things that i realized is that no matter what happens...there is always two positives to everything negative. Like if someone dies...they are in heaven and they no longer have to suffer. good things. I learned to accept myself though most of all. Yeah sometimes i can be a pain in the neck but i am a great person. My head is on straight and i love to have fun. Yeah sometimes things won't work out but everything happens for a reason. But i need to say somethings. Matt i am sorry for being an ass. Your a good person and i am sure you mean well with everything you do. Steve...i know i haven't even talked to you at all lately but i just want to say that whether or not we are friends your a good person as well. I can see you being a successful person as long as you stay on the right path. Eric...what can i say. Your probably one of the best people i know. You have always been there for me and i feel like we have grown apart. But that is going to change because i can't see me being bestfriends with anyone. K MONEYYY.....you will always be a great friend and even though you have to endure alot hat doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'll always be here for you if you need to watch the latin kings of comedy and get some chicken wings lol. Inside joke sorry. But most of all Carrie. I don't even know where to start. You are by far the best most honest person i have ever known. When times get tough i hope i still know you because your the strongest person i have ever met. Your beautiful, smart, and just straight up amazing. I am thankfulk for everyday that you are in my life. I know that we have had one hell of a past but i am glad that you are part of it and i look forward to a future with you if that is possible.
Meditating has enabled me to let go of alot. Alot of anger that i have had towards people and alot of things i have been holding back from saying. But it wasn't till last weekend before i cpould let everything go. Being with ralph and jesse brought back the old me and then spending some time with carrie made me feel invincable. I am finally myself and i am glad that i have found me once again. Going to florida is going to have its tasks but i think that it will be a good expeirence for so many reasons. It will push me to the limits no doubt but i will be able to let go so much more. But like i said i have found my balance in my life. And i am going to get a yin-yang tattooed on my tri sometime soon to sybolize a new me. A me that is ready for my future and ready for my life to begin in the right direction. From this point on i will not hold my past against myself like i have for all these years. March 17th will still be a hard day for me every year probably up till i die...but i will have myself there and great memories. So this concludes everything. But i would like to end on this note....
"Walking is Zen, Sitting, too, is Zen. If i speak or am silent, Tarry or hasten: Everything, in its true nature, Is Stillness."
-Shodoka
So on my first day through my journey I focused on everything that made me mad. well here.....
Day 1- Mad
Day 2- Sad
Day 3- Irrationality
Day 4- Upset
Day 5- Rationality
Day 6- Fun
Day 7- Happy
Day 8- Excitement
Day 9- Stress Good and Bad
Day 10 (tomorrow)- Completeness
So through my journey I thought alot about alot. I have come to terms with alot like friends and people in general. I learned to just accept things and let life just flow. But one of the best things that i realized is that no matter what happens...there is always two positives to everything negative. Like if someone dies...they are in heaven and they no longer have to suffer. good things. I learned to accept myself though most of all. Yeah sometimes i can be a pain in the neck but i am a great person. My head is on straight and i love to have fun. Yeah sometimes things won't work out but everything happens for a reason. But i need to say somethings. Matt i am sorry for being an ass. Your a good person and i am sure you mean well with everything you do. Steve...i know i haven't even talked to you at all lately but i just want to say that whether or not we are friends your a good person as well. I can see you being a successful person as long as you stay on the right path. Eric...what can i say. Your probably one of the best people i know. You have always been there for me and i feel like we have grown apart. But that is going to change because i can't see me being bestfriends with anyone. K MONEYYY.....you will always be a great friend and even though you have to endure alot hat doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'll always be here for you if you need to watch the latin kings of comedy and get some chicken wings lol. Inside joke sorry. But most of all Carrie. I don't even know where to start. You are by far the best most honest person i have ever known. When times get tough i hope i still know you because your the strongest person i have ever met. Your beautiful, smart, and just straight up amazing. I am thankfulk for everyday that you are in my life. I know that we have had one hell of a past but i am glad that you are part of it and i look forward to a future with you if that is possible.
Meditating has enabled me to let go of alot. Alot of anger that i have had towards people and alot of things i have been holding back from saying. But it wasn't till last weekend before i cpould let everything go. Being with ralph and jesse brought back the old me and then spending some time with carrie made me feel invincable. I am finally myself and i am glad that i have found me once again. Going to florida is going to have its tasks but i think that it will be a good expeirence for so many reasons. It will push me to the limits no doubt but i will be able to let go so much more. But like i said i have found my balance in my life. And i am going to get a yin-yang tattooed on my tri sometime soon to sybolize a new me. A me that is ready for my future and ready for my life to begin in the right direction. From this point on i will not hold my past against myself like i have for all these years. March 17th will still be a hard day for me every year probably up till i die...but i will have myself there and great memories. So this concludes everything. But i would like to end on this note....
"Walking is Zen, Sitting, too, is Zen. If i speak or am silent, Tarry or hasten: Everything, in its true nature, Is Stillness."
-Shodoka