Jul 24, 2006 18:43
In light of recent events I have chosen to no longer drink.
Alcohol has ruined my life.
I no longer drink, smoke, do drugs or have sex unless I am commited. I am hanging up my belt.
I lost the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.
Somethings happen in your life sometimes that I consider life changing.
What I am going through right now is one of them.
I fucked up.
I fucked myself over.
I fucked my relationship up.
I fucked my rep up.
I fucked my leg up.
Most of all I hurt someone that didn't deserve it.
I love her.
I cryed today and I don't give a fuck about what anyone says about that. I know who my friends are and they would support me.
I called my dad because I needed someone to talk to. He is always straight forward with me. He never sugarcoats anything. He never tells me everything is going to be alright if he knows it's not. So I told him what I did and what happened. He told me to stop pouting about it, man up, and take responsibility for my actions. He told me that if I was next to him he would hit me as hard as he can. He told me I don't deserve Sarah and that he hopes she doesn't take me back. He told me how stupid I was and that I had something good and I do what I always do and fucked it up.
He is right. I don't want sympathy from this post. I honestly don't give a fuck if anyone reads it. I need to vent.
I am not hardly going to hang out with anyone anymore. I am just going to work and concentrate on getting an apartment with Nicole and go to school.
I am going to the doctor right now.