Twenty-Five, I Don't Recall A Time I Felt This Alive...
So it's Beckymas tomorrow. Nothing really planned. Which is kind of nice, no pressure. There is an update, which is pretty much cut and paste from an email I sent to Die & JW, because I'm feeling pretty knackered.
We went home Friday and I spent Friday night with my mam etc. chatting and whatnot and eventually got to bed about half 1ish. Found out Toph has basically wrecked Maff's computer, got some hardcore epic virus on it when he lent it to him to do his uni work. Maff asked him if the computer was ok (his dad had rung him on the sly 2 weeks ago saying it was broke and Toph was trying to fix it), and he said yeah it's fine no problems. Which pissed Maff off even more because he lied to him. He had Maff's monitors, keyboard etc. all hooked up to Laurs' PC, so Maff asked him why all the stuff was up to Laurs' tower if his computer was fine. Then he said "ah well, it froze last time I used it, so I just left it alone". So not only had he fucked the whole thing up, he'd not even bothered trying to fix it. So Maff was raging with him, cos he'd bought some new parts for it so it would run quicker because Toph was "supposed" to be doing his practical design project on it and it needed loads of RAM and processing power and whatnot and he'd basically been pissing around on the internet with it instead. So tensions were pretty high in the house. THEN Maff's dad asked him Sat morn at 8am to mow the lawn, and Maff politely pointed out that he was only up for the weekend and that Toph is living there rent free with no job and sitting on his arse all day and that maybe Toph could mow the lawn. Except the polite part ;o). And then his dad said that if we needed a new computer instead of taking me and Maff on holiday in October, he would buy us a new one. Which is a nice offer, but why should we lose out on our holiday because Toph broke the comp? Bascially, there was a lot of rage towards Toph this weekend because since he's been doing fuck all for 2 years at uni and he thinks that now he's home his mam can wait on him hand and foot and carry it on. Which she's decided she's not (good on her!).
While this was all going on I was at my mam's playing Sims 3 for about a bazzillion hours. It's a good job it's up there and not down here or I'd lose 1/2 my life on the thing. I set off to Leeds and got there about 4ish, found the hotel after muchos fannying and was served by the world’s most unhappy front desk person. Faffed around a bit finding the girls, then after walking all the way back into town to meet them they decided to go back to the hotel to get ready. I was sharing with one of my old schoolmates who I used to be quite close to, and while we were getting ready she told me she voted BNP in the elections and I was like> o.O Anyway, I called her out on it and she said that they’re all as bad as each other yadda yadda ya to which I replied that maybe they are but the BNP are about a gazzillion times worse than the rest! So that put me in a mood. But anyway, we got ready and met the girls downstairs and off we went in the taxi, with our bright pink boas and boppers on looking well chav. The bar was a bit gash to be honest, considering it’s supposed to be one of the top drag places in the country. I asked for a cocktail menu and was told that you can only order cocktails if you’ve booked in a group and reserved a table…WTF is this tomfoolery? So I stocked up on cherry VKs like the chav I was dressed as (they were half price in the happy hour lol). By half nine I was starving, so I sneaked out and went to Greggs for a sausage and bean pastie and stood outside with the smokers like a lepper eating my pastie. But the pastie was well NOM. I snuck back in and all was well.
The drag act didn’t start til nearly half 11, although they had one Queen (who looked suprisingly like Noel) with the DJ basically heckling all the chavy hen nights which was well funny. (As an aside, I’ve never seen so many obese people in leggings in one city…Jesus! I felt like Kate Moss I tell ya!) When they eventually came on, they did one dance to a song (they weren’t even singing just miming) and off they tootled again. Half hour later we had the same one doing Thriller (which involved ZombieTrannyNoel which amused Die no end when I told her), then off they went again. Then some topless guy came on, with some kind of metal skirt device and an angle grinder, which he kept rubbing on the skirt showering sparks everywhere, while doing some kind of hootie dance to some shit song. Which was a bit weird but whatevs. Then we left cos the bride was a bit tired and wanted a cup of tea back at the hotel (it was 12.15am!) I had another Greggs en route (they even had a bouncer on the door which made me LOL) and we all ended up in Jayne’s room with tea in our PJs. Which is when it all went a bit BNP again. Every other word was Paki this and buddaspot that and seriously, I’ve never heard such pure racism in my whole life. They were on about how they were in Blackpool once and one of them asked the other if she had any letters to post and pointed to a woman on the other side of the road who was wearing one of those shawl things that just leaves the eyes uncovered, the other woman didn’t get it and they were all rolling about how funny it was ‘cos she was looking for an actual postbox. Then Die rang me (for which I will be eternally grateful because I was nearly at breaking point) cos I'd text her going "I'm trapped in a room of BNP voting racists", so I disappeared back into my room to take "an important call". Die was also pissed so we had a nice drunken chat at 1.30am.
Sunday morning was epic train fail which left me stuck in Leeds train station for about an hour and half and having to pay £11.30 to get back to Donny instead of the £3.75 to my village (it's only 2 stops difference)! Robbing bastardos. Had fit dinner at my grandma’s and decided that we were going to have another family holiday in 2011 with my cousin and the whole tribe, which I’m well excited about. We drove home in the baking hot - the aircon isn’t working in the car so we were melting. All yesterday I had a banging head so I was in bed by half 8! This was after I had to drive to Morrisons in some hardcore hailstones because the pasta I'd bought was all mouldy and I wasn't impressed. I think the Gods felt my wrath and rained down the hailstones as punishment! The record player my mam got me for my birthday looks well smart, it's got a USB port too so you can digitise the music so you can put it on your Ipod or whatever too, which is an awesome idea I think. I'm gonna get Maff to hook it all up for me, I'm well excited!
8 SLEEPS TO GLASTONBURY! FORGET BECKYMAS AND BEING HALFWAY TO 50 - THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT!!!
We went home Friday and I spent Friday night with my mam etc. chatting and whatnot and eventually got to bed about half 1ish. Found out Toph has basically wrecked Maff's computer, got some hardcore epic virus on it when he lent it to him to do his uni work. Maff asked him if the computer was ok (his dad had rung him on the sly 2 weeks ago saying it was broke and Toph was trying to fix it), and he said yeah it's fine no problems. Which pissed Maff off even more because he lied to him. He had Maff's monitors, keyboard etc. all hooked up to Laurs' PC, so Maff asked him why all the stuff was up to Laurs' tower if his computer was fine. Then he said "ah well, it froze last time I used it, so I just left it alone". So not only had he fucked the whole thing up, he'd not even bothered trying to fix it. So Maff was raging with him, cos he'd bought some new parts for it so it would run quicker because Toph was "supposed" to be doing his practical design project on it and it needed loads of RAM and processing power and whatnot and he'd basically been pissing around on the internet with it instead. So tensions were pretty high in the house. THEN Maff's dad asked him Sat morn at 8am to mow the lawn, and Maff politely pointed out that he was only up for the weekend and that Toph is living there rent free with no job and sitting on his arse all day and that maybe Toph could mow the lawn. Except the polite part ;o). And then his dad said that if we needed a new computer instead of taking me and Maff on holiday in October, he would buy us a new one. Which is a nice offer, but why should we lose out on our holiday because Toph broke the comp? Bascially, there was a lot of rage towards Toph this weekend because since he's been doing fuck all for 2 years at uni and he thinks that now he's home his mam can wait on him hand and foot and carry it on. Which she's decided she's not (good on her!).
While this was all going on I was at my mam's playing Sims 3 for about a bazzillion hours. It's a good job it's up there and not down here or I'd lose 1/2 my life on the thing. I set off to Leeds and got there about 4ish, found the hotel after muchos fannying and was served by the world’s most unhappy front desk person. Faffed around a bit finding the girls, then after walking all the way back into town to meet them they decided to go back to the hotel to get ready. I was sharing with one of my old schoolmates who I used to be quite close to, and while we were getting ready she told me she voted BNP in the elections and I was like> o.O Anyway, I called her out on it and she said that they’re all as bad as each other yadda yadda ya to which I replied that maybe they are but the BNP are about a gazzillion times worse than the rest! So that put me in a mood. But anyway, we got ready and met the girls downstairs and off we went in the taxi, with our bright pink boas and boppers on looking well chav. The bar was a bit gash to be honest, considering it’s supposed to be one of the top drag places in the country. I asked for a cocktail menu and was told that you can only order cocktails if you’ve booked in a group and reserved a table…WTF is this tomfoolery? So I stocked up on cherry VKs like the chav I was dressed as (they were half price in the happy hour lol). By half nine I was starving, so I sneaked out and went to Greggs for a sausage and bean pastie and stood outside with the smokers like a lepper eating my pastie. But the pastie was well NOM. I snuck back in and all was well.
The drag act didn’t start til nearly half 11, although they had one Queen (who looked suprisingly like Noel) with the DJ basically heckling all the chavy hen nights which was well funny. (As an aside, I’ve never seen so many obese people in leggings in one city…Jesus! I felt like Kate Moss I tell ya!) When they eventually came on, they did one dance to a song (they weren’t even singing just miming) and off they tootled again. Half hour later we had the same one doing Thriller (which involved ZombieTrannyNoel which amused Die no end when I told her), then off they went again. Then some topless guy came on, with some kind of metal skirt device and an angle grinder, which he kept rubbing on the skirt showering sparks everywhere, while doing some kind of hootie dance to some shit song. Which was a bit weird but whatevs. Then we left cos the bride was a bit tired and wanted a cup of tea back at the hotel (it was 12.15am!) I had another Greggs en route (they even had a bouncer on the door which made me LOL) and we all ended up in Jayne’s room with tea in our PJs. Which is when it all went a bit BNP again. Every other word was Paki this and buddaspot that and seriously, I’ve never heard such pure racism in my whole life. They were on about how they were in Blackpool once and one of them asked the other if she had any letters to post and pointed to a woman on the other side of the road who was wearing one of those shawl things that just leaves the eyes uncovered, the other woman didn’t get it and they were all rolling about how funny it was ‘cos she was looking for an actual postbox. Then Die rang me (for which I will be eternally grateful because I was nearly at breaking point) cos I'd text her going "I'm trapped in a room of BNP voting racists", so I disappeared back into my room to take "an important call". Die was also pissed so we had a nice drunken chat at 1.30am.
Sunday morning was epic train fail which left me stuck in Leeds train station for about an hour and half and having to pay £11.30 to get back to Donny instead of the £3.75 to my village (it's only 2 stops difference)! Robbing bastardos. Had fit dinner at my grandma’s and decided that we were going to have another family holiday in 2011 with my cousin and the whole tribe, which I’m well excited about. We drove home in the baking hot - the aircon isn’t working in the car so we were melting. All yesterday I had a banging head so I was in bed by half 8! This was after I had to drive to Morrisons in some hardcore hailstones because the pasta I'd bought was all mouldy and I wasn't impressed. I think the Gods felt my wrath and rained down the hailstones as punishment! The record player my mam got me for my birthday looks well smart, it's got a USB port too so you can digitise the music so you can put it on your Ipod or whatever too, which is an awesome idea I think. I'm gonna get Maff to hook it all up for me, I'm well excited!
8 SLEEPS TO GLASTONBURY! FORGET BECKYMAS AND BEING HALFWAY TO 50 - THIS IS WHERE IT'S AT!!!