"Nobody ever wants to follow the rules..."
Title: "Rule Breaking"
Characters/Pairings: Jimmy and Kevin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Spoiler alert: None. Everybody should have watched every episode already!
Summary: A drabble of sorts. Jimmy reflects on the rules of being a bookie.
“You could have warned me ya know?”
Kevin Donnelly wiped a dirty beer rag over his face, and took a second to marvel out how much blood was transferred, “I think you got skull on me!”
“Stop being a baby, Kevin, and hurry up.” Jimmy hissed.
The elder brother was on the other side of the bathroom, vigorously wiping down the semi-automatic he had recently used to blow the back of Johnny Butane’s brain clear from his skull. Jimmy had originally thought that finding Louie Downtown’s phone book had been a gift from god, but sadly it had turned more into a burden than anything else. Whoever said that collecting money was an easy job was either an idiot, or the worst book keeper on the face of the planet.
Jimmy didn’t have any disillusions about his intelligence. He knew that he wasn’t the sharpest tack in the drawer and that school had been nothing more than a very long and boring waste of time, but to him book keeping seemed like something that a person with the IQ of a cucumber could accomplish
The process seemed simple enough to him, but nobody wanted to follow the rules.
Rule #1- You place a bet.
Rule #2- You lose the bet.
Rule #3- You pay your bookie.
It was a three-step process that was so simple to follow it bordered on being inane, but people NEVER wanted to follow the rules. Recently, the “three-step-bookie rule”, as Kevin called it, had been drawn out to include several other steps that always seemed to end with the gamblers’ face and limbs left in bruised disarray. Rather than following the easy play, lose, pay structure, it had turned into you play, you lose, you run, you hide, you make excuses, you get beaten, and THEN you pay. For the life of him, Jimmy didn’t understand why gamblers enjoyed getting their asses beat on a weekly basis, but hey, if they wanted it so bad he had no reservations about doling them out. Jimmy Donnelly, was of course, a man of the people. So if it was a beating they wanted, who was he to deny them?
Sometimes he would wake up hoping for a day without incident, especially on the days when his leg would start acting up, or if Kevin was particularly annoying (like today). However, nothing in Jimmy’s life had ever been easy, so it made little sense for there to be a miraculous turn around now. Besides, the job did have its’ entertaining moments. If they didn’t run and hide, the gamblers always had an excuse, and lord did they have some excuses:
“Just gimme a few days, business has been slow.”
Followed by…
“I’ll pay you when I get paid.” Which was the fan favorite.
“I had to pay the rent.”
“I had to pay the babysitter.”
“Taxes, Jimmy! Uncle Sam is bustin my hump ova here! Ev’rybody wants a piece of me and now you?!”
“My dog ate it!”
The dog excuse was quite possibly the most hilarious excuse he had heard since finding Louie’s phone book. It had given him such a laugh that he only opted to break the guys thumbs rather than all of his fingers. Let it not be said that Jimmy Donnelly did not possess a sense of humor, and a compassionate heart. After all, he was a man of the people.
Suddenly, the rag flew across the room, “Ugh, Why do you have to go overboard, Jimmy?!” Kevin yelled in irritation, “I mean, I was fucking standing right behind the guy, you could have shot me!”
Jimmy didn’t look up, “You know you sound like ma when you whine, Kevin? Keep it up, it’s real manly…”
“Shut up, Jimmy! What if that guy had AIDS, or the plague or something? I think some of it got in my mouth.” As the words left his mouth, he dry heaved for a moment and began to spit uncontrollably in the corner. Soon, the creak of a rusted faucet was heard followed by running water
Jimmy sighed again as he finished wiping the gun down and loaded a new clip, “Your never gonna have sex with a girl anyway, so it wouldn’t matter if you did get AIDS, Kevin.”
Kevin looked up from the sink, water dribbling from his chin, “That’s not even funny, Jimmy.”
He shrugged, a sardonic smirk gracing his rugged features, “That’s one man’s opinion. Now hurry the hell up, we got more runs to make.”
***************************
Characters/Pairings: Jimmy and Kevin
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: None
Spoiler alert: None. Everybody should have watched every episode already!
Summary: A drabble of sorts. Jimmy reflects on the rules of being a bookie.
“You could have warned me ya know?”
Kevin Donnelly wiped a dirty beer rag over his face, and took a second to marvel out how much blood was transferred, “I think you got skull on me!”
“Stop being a baby, Kevin, and hurry up.” Jimmy hissed.
The elder brother was on the other side of the bathroom, vigorously wiping down the semi-automatic he had recently used to blow the back of Johnny Butane’s brain clear from his skull. Jimmy had originally thought that finding Louie Downtown’s phone book had been a gift from god, but sadly it had turned more into a burden than anything else. Whoever said that collecting money was an easy job was either an idiot, or the worst book keeper on the face of the planet.
Jimmy didn’t have any disillusions about his intelligence. He knew that he wasn’t the sharpest tack in the drawer and that school had been nothing more than a very long and boring waste of time, but to him book keeping seemed like something that a person with the IQ of a cucumber could accomplish
The process seemed simple enough to him, but nobody wanted to follow the rules.
Rule #1- You place a bet.
Rule #2- You lose the bet.
Rule #3- You pay your bookie.
It was a three-step process that was so simple to follow it bordered on being inane, but people NEVER wanted to follow the rules. Recently, the “three-step-bookie rule”, as Kevin called it, had been drawn out to include several other steps that always seemed to end with the gamblers’ face and limbs left in bruised disarray. Rather than following the easy play, lose, pay structure, it had turned into you play, you lose, you run, you hide, you make excuses, you get beaten, and THEN you pay. For the life of him, Jimmy didn’t understand why gamblers enjoyed getting their asses beat on a weekly basis, but hey, if they wanted it so bad he had no reservations about doling them out. Jimmy Donnelly, was of course, a man of the people. So if it was a beating they wanted, who was he to deny them?
Sometimes he would wake up hoping for a day without incident, especially on the days when his leg would start acting up, or if Kevin was particularly annoying (like today). However, nothing in Jimmy’s life had ever been easy, so it made little sense for there to be a miraculous turn around now. Besides, the job did have its’ entertaining moments. If they didn’t run and hide, the gamblers always had an excuse, and lord did they have some excuses:
“Just gimme a few days, business has been slow.”
Followed by…
“I’ll pay you when I get paid.” Which was the fan favorite.
“I had to pay the rent.”
“I had to pay the babysitter.”
“Taxes, Jimmy! Uncle Sam is bustin my hump ova here! Ev’rybody wants a piece of me and now you?!”
“My dog ate it!”
The dog excuse was quite possibly the most hilarious excuse he had heard since finding Louie’s phone book. It had given him such a laugh that he only opted to break the guys thumbs rather than all of his fingers. Let it not be said that Jimmy Donnelly did not possess a sense of humor, and a compassionate heart. After all, he was a man of the people.
Suddenly, the rag flew across the room, “Ugh, Why do you have to go overboard, Jimmy?!” Kevin yelled in irritation, “I mean, I was fucking standing right behind the guy, you could have shot me!”
Jimmy didn’t look up, “You know you sound like ma when you whine, Kevin? Keep it up, it’s real manly…”
“Shut up, Jimmy! What if that guy had AIDS, or the plague or something? I think some of it got in my mouth.” As the words left his mouth, he dry heaved for a moment and began to spit uncontrollably in the corner. Soon, the creak of a rusted faucet was heard followed by running water
Jimmy sighed again as he finished wiping the gun down and loaded a new clip, “Your never gonna have sex with a girl anyway, so it wouldn’t matter if you did get AIDS, Kevin.”
Kevin looked up from the sink, water dribbling from his chin, “That’s not even funny, Jimmy.”
He shrugged, a sardonic smirk gracing his rugged features, “That’s one man’s opinion. Now hurry the hell up, we got more runs to make.”
***************************