If I Fell, Ben/Ronnie, Make Me a Supermodel
Title: If I Fell
Author: becomingblurred
Pairing: Ben/Ronnie
Word Count: 870
Rating: PG
Summary: As long as Ronnie avoided falling in love with Ben, he'd be okay.
Disclaimer: You can't own this kind of stuff.
Author's Notes: I don't know what to say. First MMASM fic. First Ben/Ronnie. First time I've written slash in a long time. Enjoy. For bravosupermodel FicFest 2008.
If I Fell
By Donna
Contrary to all of the gossip, to all of the blogs, to all the confessionals, Ronnie didn’t fall in love with Ben. It was that one tired old fence he didn’t feel like jumping over again. He had to walk around with “itsacompetitionitsacompetitionitsacompetition” playing on shuffle in his head, but after being put in the bottom two his crush was snapped out of him. He had to focus, he had to win, he had to not let any feelings get into the way. Easier said than done. As long as Ben was across the bedroom every night, the falling in love for him aspect was swimming in Ronnie’s chest, waiting to come up for air. The aspect always came when they were just rambling about anything and everything. It just felt like possible love. But as soon as that temptation bit at him, April would be brought up and it would all subside again. It was good to know that his temptation was realistic once in awhile.
And while that was always in his head and he was always tempted, he was able to swallow it down and just keep going. He was really beginning to do well in photoshoots, catwalks, and everything in-between. Even a photoshoot with Perry of all people was a success.
But there were little things that always caught him when he wasn’t focusing on the “itsacompetitionitsacompetitionitsacompetition” playlist in his head. Like when Ben smiled. Like when Ben took off his clothes. Like when Ben came out of the shower after taking off said clothes. Then Ronnie would just remember to keep the lust and love on two entirely different sides of the fence. They couldn’t touch. They could never touch. It would only lead to disaster.
Luckily for Ronnie, his feelings of possible love stopped when Ben started saying such hateful things and Ronnie realized that he was most likely like every other straight man full of conservatism and contradictions: it wasn’t Ronnie. It was Ronnie’s morals. And those morals could not be forgotten, no matter how many times Ben dropped joking terms of endearment. While they talked it out, Ronnie knew that Ben really didn’t understand how what he said hurt Ronnie and his respect for him, and that was something that couldn’t be repaired. No one forgets the one second you turn from friend to insensitive jackass, recreating all the memories that plagued Ronnie as a child.
Ronnie wished this realization would last as long as he lived, but something happened in Ronnie’s chest, by that metaphorical fence when his eyes met with Ben’s the night after the realization that Ben was in the bottom three with Casey and Frankie. He thought about the hatred that spewed from Ben’s mouth earlier and for the first time in a long time, he felt extremely conflicted. The playlist stopped and a new one began. “WecantendlikethiswecantendlikethisWe can’t end like this.” Friend, lover, competitor, partner, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t risk either of them leaving on such a negative note.
That night, when Ben came out of the shower, Ronnie nearly shoved him into a corner. “We can’t end like this,” Ronnie said, nearly singing it for the whole house to hear.
“Can’t end what?” Ben asked, his eyes wide with confusion. He self-consciously wrapped his towel around his waist tighter.
“If you leave tomorrow. We can’t end with that fight. We need to do something so that can’t be my last memory of you in this house,” Ronnie explained, hoping it was how Ben felt, as well.
Ben sighed. “Can I at least get my boxers on? And how the hell did you get passed the lock?”
Ronnie didn’t answer. He turned on his heel and left.
Ben joined him in their bedroom. He sat next to Ronnie on Ronnie’s bed. “I said I was sorry,” Ben mumbled, “If I knew how to make you better, you know I’d do it.”
“So just prove it to me that you meant it,” Ronnie begged.
Ben pressed his lips together, still keeping a good inch farther from Ronnie than normal. He turned toward Ronnie and said, “This doesn’t leave the room.”
Ronnie nodded, too tired to fight with him.
Ben leaned in for a simple kiss on Ronnie’s lips. He placed a hand on the base of his neck and pulled his lips back, keeping his hand there. “Okay?” Ben asked.
Ronnie shrugged. “Thanks,” he whispered, willing a smile.
Ben smiled back, bringing his hand down to Ronnie’s back and gave it a slap. “Go to sleep, okay? Or are you not going to wait for me to come back to the house?”
Ronnie’s smile became a little wider. It was a reassurance to know that Ben kissed him even though he appeared sure that this was not the last night. “Goodnight, Ben,” Ronnie said, swinging his legs and curling up in bed. He folded his hands on his chest, trying to keep his heart from fluttering.
“‘Night, sweetheart,” Ben said into the wall as he shut the lights and dove into his own bed.
Ronnie shut his eyes, wincing. He fell for Ben and it hurt already.
end
Author: becomingblurred
Pairing: Ben/Ronnie
Word Count: 870
Rating: PG
Summary: As long as Ronnie avoided falling in love with Ben, he'd be okay.
Disclaimer: You can't own this kind of stuff.
Author's Notes: I don't know what to say. First MMASM fic. First Ben/Ronnie. First time I've written slash in a long time. Enjoy. For bravosupermodel FicFest 2008.
If I Fell
By Donna
Contrary to all of the gossip, to all of the blogs, to all the confessionals, Ronnie didn’t fall in love with Ben. It was that one tired old fence he didn’t feel like jumping over again. He had to walk around with “itsacompetitionitsacompetitionitsacompetition” playing on shuffle in his head, but after being put in the bottom two his crush was snapped out of him. He had to focus, he had to win, he had to not let any feelings get into the way. Easier said than done. As long as Ben was across the bedroom every night, the falling in love for him aspect was swimming in Ronnie’s chest, waiting to come up for air. The aspect always came when they were just rambling about anything and everything. It just felt like possible love. But as soon as that temptation bit at him, April would be brought up and it would all subside again. It was good to know that his temptation was realistic once in awhile.
And while that was always in his head and he was always tempted, he was able to swallow it down and just keep going. He was really beginning to do well in photoshoots, catwalks, and everything in-between. Even a photoshoot with Perry of all people was a success.
But there were little things that always caught him when he wasn’t focusing on the “itsacompetitionitsacompetitionitsacompetition” playlist in his head. Like when Ben smiled. Like when Ben took off his clothes. Like when Ben came out of the shower after taking off said clothes. Then Ronnie would just remember to keep the lust and love on two entirely different sides of the fence. They couldn’t touch. They could never touch. It would only lead to disaster.
Luckily for Ronnie, his feelings of possible love stopped when Ben started saying such hateful things and Ronnie realized that he was most likely like every other straight man full of conservatism and contradictions: it wasn’t Ronnie. It was Ronnie’s morals. And those morals could not be forgotten, no matter how many times Ben dropped joking terms of endearment. While they talked it out, Ronnie knew that Ben really didn’t understand how what he said hurt Ronnie and his respect for him, and that was something that couldn’t be repaired. No one forgets the one second you turn from friend to insensitive jackass, recreating all the memories that plagued Ronnie as a child.
Ronnie wished this realization would last as long as he lived, but something happened in Ronnie’s chest, by that metaphorical fence when his eyes met with Ben’s the night after the realization that Ben was in the bottom three with Casey and Frankie. He thought about the hatred that spewed from Ben’s mouth earlier and for the first time in a long time, he felt extremely conflicted. The playlist stopped and a new one began. “WecantendlikethiswecantendlikethisWe can’t end like this.” Friend, lover, competitor, partner, it didn’t matter. He couldn’t risk either of them leaving on such a negative note.
That night, when Ben came out of the shower, Ronnie nearly shoved him into a corner. “We can’t end like this,” Ronnie said, nearly singing it for the whole house to hear.
“Can’t end what?” Ben asked, his eyes wide with confusion. He self-consciously wrapped his towel around his waist tighter.
“If you leave tomorrow. We can’t end with that fight. We need to do something so that can’t be my last memory of you in this house,” Ronnie explained, hoping it was how Ben felt, as well.
Ben sighed. “Can I at least get my boxers on? And how the hell did you get passed the lock?”
Ronnie didn’t answer. He turned on his heel and left.
Ben joined him in their bedroom. He sat next to Ronnie on Ronnie’s bed. “I said I was sorry,” Ben mumbled, “If I knew how to make you better, you know I’d do it.”
“So just prove it to me that you meant it,” Ronnie begged.
Ben pressed his lips together, still keeping a good inch farther from Ronnie than normal. He turned toward Ronnie and said, “This doesn’t leave the room.”
Ronnie nodded, too tired to fight with him.
Ben leaned in for a simple kiss on Ronnie’s lips. He placed a hand on the base of his neck and pulled his lips back, keeping his hand there. “Okay?” Ben asked.
Ronnie shrugged. “Thanks,” he whispered, willing a smile.
Ben smiled back, bringing his hand down to Ronnie’s back and gave it a slap. “Go to sleep, okay? Or are you not going to wait for me to come back to the house?”
Ronnie’s smile became a little wider. It was a reassurance to know that Ben kissed him even though he appeared sure that this was not the last night. “Goodnight, Ben,” Ronnie said, swinging his legs and curling up in bed. He folded his hands on his chest, trying to keep his heart from fluttering.
“‘Night, sweetheart,” Ben said into the wall as he shut the lights and dove into his own bed.
Ronnie shut his eyes, wincing. He fell for Ben and it hurt already.
end