Teh Sparkly

[donnaimmaculata]

Everything I know about Twilight I have learned from my flist, and I know that I will never, ever read the books. I never intended to waste any words on them, either, but I would like some confirmation that what I've now read is true

Comments

[shocolate]

a) yes
b) yes
c) yes

Seriously.

The film makers are currently shitting themselves.

I am trying to think of it a s a huge joke on the Mommies who let their Little Darlings read it, because there was no swearing or drinking or sex before marriage...

[donnaimmaculata]

Hah! I didn't even think of the film! Frankly, when I stumbled upon this piece of information on fandom_wank, of all places, I thought it was just wankers being sarcastic. And then, slowly, realisation dawned that this is the real Twilight canon and the conclusion of long-year high-school courting and vampire UST.

Well, thank God there was no sex before marriage. Phew!

I hope it will make it in the film. That would be so brilliant. Sparkly, even.

[shocolate]

The first one is vaguely filmable - UST, sparkles, she's kidnapped by a naughty vampire and he rescues her.

You can see why they'd make it, to entertain the tweenagers.

Then this"Get her breathing! I've got to get him out before

[donnaimmaculata]

Okay, I honestly can't tell whether it's an excerpt from the Real Thing or you being sarcastic.

Regardless, it does sound amazing.

[shocolate]

Every word true, your honour!

It is the fandom that cannot be crack ficced - nothing can be as face-palmy as the canon!

[donnaimmaculata]

Who's the narrator, then? And does s/he narrate the whole novel? And if so, how can s/he know the pillow-biting details of the wedding night?

Am I overthinking this? I rather think I am.

[donnaimmaculata]

Shame. I think Bella should narrate the birth scene.

SMeyer took the whole werewolves-mate-for-life scenario to a whole new level, didn't she?

[shocolate]

It's her narrating the first three books.

Then this car-crash last one is divided into three 'books' - she narrates the first - waking up after her wedding night, covered in feathers, and he says 'I bit a few pillows' (utter bottom) - then the werewolf who has always loved her and tried to force himself on her - narrates the second part, including the birth scene, and imprinting on the new born baby - I think it goes back to Bella narrating the third part??

I haven't actually read this one.

[donnaimmaculata]

I never knew of the existence of the werewolf until I came across the spoilers wank a few days ago. I always thought it was just Bella and Edward.

I am, however, developing a deep affection for the werewolf. He's so beautifully fucked-up - I think he and Fenrir would get on like a house on fire, up to and including their affinity for young children.

Fenrir, too, only "imprinted" himself on Remus!

[cutecoati]

The pillow-biting scene had me shriek with glee.

I'm still not sure, though, whether SMeyer really doesn't know what the term refers to (which would be, like, dude) or, um, yeah... *brain shuts down*

Damn, I needa read books #2 and 3. And # 4. For real, that is, not via fandom ;D

[shocolate]

I... maybe a good Mormon mother of twelve wouldn't know the term - but none of her editors??

Unless they all pissed themselves laughing and left it in...

Need the pdfs??

[cutecoati]

Unless they all pissed themselves laughing and left it in...

I like that theory. *nods*

Pdf??? OMG I'll be your slave forevah!

[donnaimmaculata]

Heh! I can actually imagine that normal people are not aware of the meaning. I know I often come across RL people whom I would expect to be familiar with, ah, relevant terminology, but then it turns out I've got to explain the bloody obvious.

Some time ago, I had to explain what "butt plugs" are - to a woman in her 20s, who studies media and knows her way around the Internet. And has a sex life, presumably. I was quite shocked, I can tell you.

[ladyjaneva]

ugh, I fell really, really dumb right now - please enlight me about "pillow-biting"?

[cutecoati]

pillow biter

Seeing that SMeyer has frequently claimed in interviews that 'her characters don't tell her everything', it seems that Edward has been more than secretive about some, um, things :DDD