On the sex appeal of literary crushes (more or less)
Last week, it took my fancy to read Lucy Maud Montgomery's "Emily" series. I've never really been into the series as a child and have never owned and read the first book, so I hunted it down on the Internet. And then I met Dean Priest.
She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to ( Read more... )
She heard him say, "My God!" softly to himself. [...] "How can I help you?" said Dean Priest hoarsely, as if to ( Read more... )
Besides that kindred spirit stuff over things like cloud-watching and poetry, it was the fact that Emily immediately accepted him
I can't say I found Dean exactly creepy - not until he started being blatantly territorial and obsessive and jealous - because his relationship to Emily was never sexual when she was a young girl. But I don't understand the concept of devoting one's entire life to waiting for someone. Dean, a grown-up man with a considerable life experience, dedicates himself to waiting for a girl whose father he used to be friends with at college. This is something I find very off-putting. It is therefore not so much the concept of being attracted to a minor (something I can understand) but the fact that his life's pursuits are now revolving around this little girl.
Actually, this is a major aspect of my aversion against the adult/minor relationships that I completely forgot to mention in my post. (It was late last night when I wrote it.) When an adult falls in love with an underage girl and decides to not ignore this as a temporary infatuation, he can either act on his feelings and try to seduce her, or wait until she is of age and seduce her then. The first alternative has definitely an abusive connotation. Although I, of all people, am more than ready to admit that young girls are manipulative and calculating in their own rights. But, even thought they might want it, they are not fully aware of what exactly it is they want. I am not objecting against the relationship from the girl's point of view, though. If she thinks that's what she wants - let her go for it. How else can she gain experience?
Now, as to the waiting for someone: I don't like the idea of dedicating my life to the pursuit of one other person, and I definitely don't like the idea of someone else waiting for many years for me to be finally his. If some former teacher (or even a former school mate) of mine approached me with the words that he fell for me 15 years ago and has been biding his time all these years, I would be seriously freaked out and consider him an obsessive pervert.
This is, incidentally, the reason why I don't like Sirius/Remus reunion fics that much. I don't like the idea that someone (Remus) spent 15 years of their life waiting for their love to come back. I know that this is considered as tragically romantic by many, but I find it disturbing.
But I digress.
I'm fascinated by the (non-pedophilic) twistedness of character that compels "damaged" men to be drawn to younger would-be partners
I do think such a character is fascinating, but it's not a good sort of fascination. I am certainly fascinated by the character of Humbert Humbert in Lolita. He is actually a good example, because he illustrates exactly what I mean: Humbert doesn't force Lolita into the relationship. He manipulates her into it, but she is quite the manipulator herself, so there is a balance of sorts. I fully understand his desire for her, too, and I certainly understand her desire for a grown-up, experienced man who can show her the world, life and love. And from the young girl's point of view, I can approve of it. I wouldn't talk out a 17-years-old girl from hitting on a 30-years-old guy, but I would vice versa. Because I find is degrading for the man to go after a girl who's not his equal, but I do find it upgrading for the girl to pursuit a man who's her superior.
plus a big ol' student/ teacher kink.
See? I don't have a student/teacher kink. I've never even had a crush on a teacher. That's scarred me for life *g* I've always been very aware of certain social boundaries, especially those within hierarchical structures. It is not a moral thing, I don't think. I am open for all sorts of kinky relationships among consenting adults with similar levels of experience and maturity. I would shag my flat mate, my best friend's boyfriend and my brother's girlfriend, but I wouldn't shag my professor, my boss or my Dad's best friend. Weird, eh?
I'll probably do an about-face when my own daughter hits puberty in a few years.
Yeah, that's likely to change your point of view all right! *g*
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